Sunflowers
by Unicorn's Whisper
Summary: I lost so much time. Over the years I forgot what it was like to love and be loved, but I never forgot what I really wanted. "I can't take this... I can't take this anymore!" "Claire, what-" "Home. I just want to go home." Quil/Claire
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer –** Belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Enjoy. Leni this is for you :3

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**Prologue**

_ Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. _

_Pierce Harris_

Do you know the feeling when you see an item from your childhood and you just stop and smile, enjoying the feeling of memories taking over? You suddenly feel connected to your past like you hadn't in a very long time. You feel small but warm, because the item is a reminder of a good memory.

That is what I'm doing right now. I'm holding an old book in my hands and I'm six again in my yellow room, tucked in my little bed. The image is sharp, the voices are clear, and I remember him reading me this book. It's an old Disney classic, my favourite, and as I browse through the pages, rereading here and there, I can hear his voice imitate the characters or making blowing up noises whenever there was action involved. He liked to overdo the action parts.

I smile again as my hand traces the stain on one of the pages. Hot chocolate. He made the best hot chocolate.

"Claire, are you home?"

I ignore the call as I set the book back in its box. I carefully put the lid back on and for a moment I wonder why I don't bring the book back up with me. But no, I shouldn't dwell on the past too much. From experience I knew that would bring me nowhere.

I pass my old bike on my way out. He and his friends taught me how to ride it when I was seven. It's way too small for me now and I have no use of it, but I begged my father not to throw it away simply because it was a memento. My memento.

At the exit of the basement I stop and look back at the bike. It was blue once, but the years had almost turned it gray. I bet if I give it a good clean it would still be blue. Lighter than I remembered, but still blue. The stickers probably faded, though. When I first got my lessons on the bike, he brought me stickers for each lesson. He had a lot of patience with me, I realize now. I wasn't the best rider, but he never stopped encouraging me. Whatever it was, he was always there. If it was baby sitting or sitting between other parents in my school performances, being the first to give me a gift for my birthday, holding my hand at the dentist's, helping me with my homework… Actually, I can't remember a single event when he wasn't there. He was my best friend and almost a brother.

I turn the basement lights off and softly close the door behind me. Just like that I close the past away again.

Why do I keep returning?

Oh, right. I miss him.

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AN: I is hungry... I eat reviews... FEED ME.

Yours UW


	2. Chapter 1

I salute you guys for the reviews. They are love.

This one is for Leni again. Especially the math aprt :)

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**Chapter 1**

It was early in April, a few days before my 18th birthday and a few months before graduation. I returned home from school with my hands full of mail that I had picked up from the mailbox on the driveway.

Sunny trotted in the hall to greet me. I gave him a loving cuddle before continuing my way to the kitchen to set the mail down.

"Bills, commercials, bills, commercials, commercials, store notices and-"

I threw all the stuff on the dinning table but one envelope. Smiling to myself, I ran up to my room, half aware the Sunny was closely following. Even though I was alone in the house, I closed the door behind me and sat down on my bed. For a few minutes I just admired the familiar handwriting even though it was just my name and address written. I ripped it open quickly to pull out my always early birthday card. Ignoring the front I opened the card:

_'Happy Birthday, from Quil'_

He never wrote anything more or anything less. And even though I knew the same thing was written every year, it was still exciting to open a new one. It was enough that I knew he didn't forget about me.

I closed the card to admire the front. A comic cat was playing with a toy mouse in an orange background. There was a little cloud above the cat saying 'Sometimes I'm so cute I make myself sick.' I actually didn't find the cat cute, but I still smiled. I turned the card over and another line was written on the back 'You make the rest of us feel woozy too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY' That made me laugh out loud. Quil and his funny cards.

I must have sat there for an hour reading everything over and over, even the front of the envelope. I admired the way he wrote the big C in my name and the S in my surname, Summers. Or the little round circles over the i's. His handwriting wasn't exactly some fancy calligraphy. He had more of a sketchy style like every word was a sketch to make. His handwriting was all over the place, but readable and comforting to me.

Quil likes sketches. He's a sketchoholic, if that's even a phrase. He works with Jacob Black and Embry Call at their little garage in La Push. They have another garage in Forks, but that one is only for making business. Later, they drag the cars or motorcycles to La Push and work on them there. The garage is small, but the business is good simply because they are good at what they do. A good portion of their customers are even from Seattle and that's saying something. Jacob is the mechanic, Quil does the designs and Embry puts everything together. They had sort of a 'pimp my ride' going on at the beginning, but they didn't take it to such extremes like in the TV show. They mostly take old cars design, style and update them into looking more modern, cool, faster or whatever you want your car to look like.

As a kid I spent a lot of time in their garage. It wasn't exactly a safe place for a kid, but I never was much of a trouble maker to get banned from itThat, and being Quil's favourite, was enough to insure that I was allowed to enter and stay. Sometimes they would let me pick the models with which they would paint designs on cars, sometimes I could pick colours, shapes, materials —anything to make me feel like I was a part of their gang.

Quil's sketches were usually all over the place. Walls, tables, cars, the floor … everywhere. He left them all over the place. And he always knew where to find them. I once tried to help and clean up the place, so I collected Quil's sketches in neat piles in order to look more organized. I screwed up his system and it took hours to get the right papers for the right car in his order again, and he wasn't even mad with me. He frowned, explained what I did wrong, thanked me for trying to clean up, tousled my hair and without a word of complain began rearranging his sketches.

Smiling to myself, I traced his name where he left his signature.

_'Quil.'_

He would hoist me up in his lap with a sketch pad and a pencil in his hands. I would lean back against him and he would sketch and draw and shadow. Sometimes he would do it just for fun, just to entertain me and draw funny pictures or animals. Other times he would do his work, but I was still allowed to watch. The sound of pencil against paper, his drawing and his warmth would lull me to sleep when I was little. That was my most favourite lullaby.

_'Miss. Miss? This is your Phone speaking. You're getting an important call from a very sexy person. Miss?'_

What the-

My head snapped up to where my cell phone lay next to me on the bed. Did that idiot change my ring tone again?

Ugh.

"Ray? You've been messing with my phone again?" I picked up without a hello, but more like a snarl.

_"Why hello to you too princess and yes I'm fine and doing great. How've you been?"_

My eye twitched. "How many times have I told you not to mess with my phone? Especially with my ring tones?"

_"I don't know," _Drawled the voice on the other end "_Many times? I lost count. But seriously Claire, you're the only person on this planet who has some weird Latin songs set as a ring tone, the lyrics of which you don't even understand."_

"I happen to like the music, not the lyrics! What's wrong with that?"

_"Everything. Maybe it's a worship song for Satan or some secret ceremony song for demons where they sacrifice newborn babies. You never know what they're selling," _replied Ray's know-it-all voice.

I was silent for a moment while my brain pondered for a moment how to process Ray's smart-ass remark. "It was a theme song from Final Fantasy Versus XIII. For Pete's sake Ray, you played that game with me."

_"Oh."_ He was silent for a moment._ "I knew it sounded familiar."_

I sighed, wishing there would be a cure for Ray's stupidity. But since Ray was twisted in all the weird places, something like milk might actually cure him. He hated milk, too.

_"Anyway are we set for tomorrow? And no, I'm not accepting excuses. You're going with me since this is for you."_

"Then why are you even asking?"

_"I'm trying to be nice."_

"Well nice then. But that's not why you're calling, right? We'll see each other tomorrow morning in school anyway, so…"

_"…"_

"Do your own homework!"

_"But Claireeeee,"_ he whined. "_It's so hard and I have no idea what I have to do. Besides, you explain thing way better than Mrs. Thomas."_

"Ray," I groaned into the phone. Why did he have to be so difficult? Every day was the same with the begging so I'd do all his homework.

_"Just one exercise. I swear the rest I'll do by myself."_

"Ugh, must you be so difficult." And that was his answer.

_"Thank you, I'll be over in 15 minutes!"_

Before I could complain some more he cancelled the call. Stupid Ray. But a smile tugged at my lips anyway.

**xxx**

An hour later, while trying to explain my best friend the theory of combinations, I was ready to try my other theory about pouring milk down his throat.

"That does not make sense!"

"It does if you think the way you should!"

"Well I don't think the way I should!"

"That doesn't make you look any better!"

"Well I think it should."

"Stop thinking about the wrong things!"

"I think everyone should think the way I do."

"You think?"

"Wait. What?"

Milk! I need milk. I'm gonna drown him in milk! Maybe then his little brain cells would get sour enough to function on some basic level.

Most girls consider Ray as a cute guy. Handsome, even, with his killer smile, dazzling green eyes, blond hair that dances in front of his eyes, a weird sense of humour, and an athletic body. Charming, really. But Ray and mathematics did not mix. At times like this I wanted to tear up his pretty face, dig out his brain and scream at them for being incapable of understanding the basics of Math. Work, you useless pile of cells! Work!

"I give up," I said, finally pushing the text book away and glaring at it.

Ray took it back "Wait I think I get it. It's negative three, right?"

I covered my face with my hands and actually wanted to cry in frustration. Silently I shook my head. Ray looked, confused, at his notebook and back at me. "Oh, a negative is impossible. Right, you said that."

Well at least he remembered that.

"Forty-five, seven?"

I stood up suddenly which actually made Ray flinch and duck for cover, but I only walked to the table where I picked up another notebook. I threw it in front of Ray where we were studying on the floor and looked at him mournfully. "You're useless. And I pity you because you probably can't help it either, so just copy it."

Happy as a baby who had just received a very much wanted toy, Ray began whistling and started copying the work. I began collecting the textbooks when my phone started ringing again.

_'Hello! Unimportant call incoming! Ignore this at all costs!'_

I stepped on Ray's toe for meddling with my phone again. Ignoring his little innocent yelp of surprise, I answered the phone without looking the ID.

"Yes?"

_"Claire honey is that you?"_ A sweet, familiar voice answered back.

"Aunt Emily!" I replied back happily. I jumped on my bed with my back to Ray while my loving aunt greeted me.

_"Hello honey, how've you been?"_

Aunt Emily calls everyone honey and the familiar phrase makes me all warm inside. I could almost smell the chocolate cookies she used to make when she called anyone that. "I'm fine. You? And uncle Sam? How are the twins? And everyone else?"

_"I'm fine too and everyone is doing great." _She laughed softly. _"I wanted to call you and make sure you haven't forgotten that we're coming. Excited about your birthday this week?"_

I nodded even thought I knew she couldn't see me. "Of course. You and uncle Sam will be able to make it for the weekend, right?" This was the only reason I was excited about my birthday anyway. Since we moved from La Push to Chicago when I was twelve, Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam would visit me every year for my birthday. They always called for every holiday and stuff, but I never got the chance to visit them myself. I haven't been in La Push for 6 years and it's not like I didn't want to visit. Oh, I sure wanted to go back alright, but my parents would never let me go alone and they were always too busy with work to make a visit on their own.

_"Yes, I already booked the plane tickets. I called your mother today, but she wasn't available at work so I'll try to reach her tomorrow to make plans. I'll call you again later this week, okay honey?"_

"Yeah, okay. And, Aunt Emily?"

_"Yes, dear?"_

"I'm really glad you're coming," I confessed in a small voice.

I wished I could see the familiar smile on my Aunt's face. The scars she wore since I can remember did nothing to disturb the beautiful and kind image I had of her. "_I'm glad too. We'll be in touch. Love you."_

"Ditto. Bye." I herd the familiar 'click' when my aunt put the phone down and my throat suddenly felt dry. I was overcome by emotions whenever I talked to Emily or Sam simply because they were 'home'. They were familiar, they were safe, loving, caring…everything I missed here.

I watched the phone in my hand for a few silent moments. I realized the whistling stopped a long while ago and turned back to face Ray. He was copying my homework like nothing happened, but I knew he wasn't stupid. No one can read a person like Ray does. With one conversation he can have you all figured out, and that was what I mostly dreaded about him.

But he knew. He knew I never talked about it and so in return he never asked questions.

"Ray?"

He looked up from my notes with a smile "Yeah?"

I smiled back and shook my head "Nothing."

Thank you.

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That's all for now,

Truly UW


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you review-people :)

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**Chapter 2**

Hitching a ride to school with Ray is one of many ways of how to be suicidal. He's a good guy and all, but he just doesn't seem to posses any bit of self-preservation on the street. It's like his math. Traffic laws and math are two things he will never understand. Slow approach, bribe, threat, force, blackmail… nothing ever worked.

And he was only riding a bicycle.

"Red light! Red light! Stop! It's red!"

"Where?"

"Never mind."

I was sitting at the back of his mother's bike, while he peddled like mad down the street, ignoring traffic lights and narrowly missing hitting an old lady and her dog. Thank god she appeared to be as blind as she is deaf or that would have given her a heart attack. Her poodle seemed to be having one.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked causally, while clinging to his waist for dear life.

A sudden turn to the left into a narrow alley would have sent a normal person flying to China. But years of driving with Ray only threw me a little off balance. "I have practice."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

"Oh. Should I fake a broken bone or something to get the coach off your back?"

Another sharp turn followed with another red light forgotten behind us. This is why Ray never got his driving license.

"I think four broken bones in two months from three different accidents while on our way to school are bound to get him suspicious. That and you're out of excuses why you heal so fast and never wear a plaster," he replied, sounding slightly panicked.

Ray has all the right to be worried. His basketball coach can make any team member cry with just three words. If there was one thing he did not tolerate it was lateness for morning practice. Since Ray was born late his life consisted on being late everywhere possible.

Coach Volkov had been transferred to our school at the beginning of this year. While everyone feared him and knew he showed no mercy, the progress in their basketball team was noticeable a great deal, and he was therefore well respected.

Ray has come up with many excuses during the months, many of which included accidents on his way to school. Anyone who knew Ray's history of driving easily believed him. Since coach Volkov didn't know me so well I was usually the broken victim while Ray was the lucky one without a scratch.

There was a stop sign a little up ahead so I tried to dig my heals in the hard cement to slow us down, but other than almost losing a shoe it had little affect. "Is there anything else I can do?"

He sighed. "No, it's okay. I was bound to get caught again sooner or later."

Yikkes, I really pitied him this time. He wasn't even putting up a fight.

**xxx**

At school he left me alone with his bicycle while he walked towards the gym building, head bowed and shoulders sagging. He looked like a man walking towards a guillotine.

I shook my head sadly while walking to the bicycle shed. There was hardly any space left to lock the bike, but somehow I managed to nudge it in between the others. I sincerely doubted anyone would steal his mother's old bike. It was plain white with a little basket up front, but Ray held an unhealthy love towards it so I treated it with care.

After that I didn't see Ray till lunch time. He was probably hiding somewhere, but he took a peek into the lunch room and crept towards our usual table where I was sitting alone.

"Why so jumpy?" I leaned on my right arm while munching a cheese sandwich.

Ray took a long look around the room. He had a hoodie over his head and was crouched very low over the table. "I scrambled out of practice when Volkov wasn't looking. He always decides the punishment after the end. He likes to make us nervous before that, so we sweat for an hour wondering what he'll do to us."

"Mental torture, huh?"

"One of his worst methods," shuddered Ray. "How was Chemistry?"

I nudged my sandwich lazily. "The usual lab stuff. If you miss one more time old Clark is getting me partnered with Brown."

"I'll try not to."

"You better not. Anyway you're lucky you skipped, Volkov was looking for you and he didn't seem happy."

Ray ducked down one more time, still playing Mr. Invisible, when he spotted Patrick on the other side of the lunch room. He started waving him over "Hey, Trick!" So much for being unnoticed. Sometimes Ray's mind worked like that of a gold fish.

Patrick made his way over to our table with a grin on his face "I heard Volkov shouting your name up to the second floor, what happened?"

He gave me a nervous smile before he sat down and I nodded at him in greeting. Patrick didn't have a tray with him so he must have eaten already. Ray, on the other hand, didn't have time to eat at all. He leaned to my side and snatched half of my sandwich before I could pull away. "I was late this morning and later I ran away before he got his big hands on me."

I kicked him under the table.

"You're lucky he knows you're too good to be thrown off the team," Patrick smirked. "But since you're one of the best you might even get special trainings. And who could be better for the job than Coach Volkov."

Ray's eyes went wide as plates. He gulped loudly and stared at Patrick with silent horror. I nudged him under the table to snap him out of it, but Ray was frozen.

I looked up at Patrick, and then at something behind him. It wasn't Patrick who Ray was staring at, but Volkov himself who was slowly making his way towards us.

Uh-oh, speak of the Devil-

"Rodman!" The coach roared Ray's surname over the lunch room like a man who wanted revenge. Let me tell you that Ivan Volkov was a big man. Burly and all muscles with big hands that could easily squash a basketball, not play with it. Not many would guess that he coaches a sport, but more like trains soldiers for another cold war or something.

Like a obedient kitten Ray stood up. For a moment I wondered if he would salute the man.

When the giant man made his was over to our table, he first glared at Ray, then at Patrick, who was half way under the table by then, and lastly at me. I had a sudden sense of déjà vu when he towered over us. For a second his pale skin turned to a more russet colour, his hard jaw loosened into a broad smile and his almost black cold eyes turned warm. His hair was suddenly longer, his face didn't have so many edges and I could smell the forest and hear the soft drop of rain.

I spaced out for a moment, but quickly came back to my senses when Volkov suddenly grabbed Ray by the collar of his hoodie and wordlessly stared dragging him away. Before they reached the exit Volkov barked to the far east table of the room, "Evans, Cooper, Adams! You might want to join us."

I watched as three guys, also from Ray's team, wormed out of their hiding places from behind their friends or under the tables and obediently trailed after their coach.

That was the last I saw from Ray until the end of classes. Since the basketball team was the pride of our school, the team members were sometimes excused of their classes if the coach wanted practice. All of them would gladly have just any class than a special training raid with coach Volkov.

With a quick peek on the basketball court I made sure that Ray was still alive before leaving a message in his locker that I went home with a bus. God knows how long Volkov will keep them prisonor.

**xxx**

The house was big and cold when I opened the door. Despite the beautiful and sunny day outside, I shivered in the dark hallway. No one was home of course. Only Sunny greeted me, with a soft yowl and a wagging tail. At least someone was happy to see me back.

"Hey boy, wanna take a walk?"

I let my school bag slide on the floor before grabbing Sunny's leash and I was out again. We walked to the park we always went to, and after that, we ran to the small forest that lay further up the path.

It wasn't really big and it was impossible to get lost in it. It was full of little paths made by joggers and other dog walkers, but when it was almost empty I pretended it was one of La Push's many forests. It wasn't damp, rainy or green as at home, but I could pretend. I would always pretend.

Sunny ran up ahead of me and I gladly chased after him. Running puts my mind at peace. When I was exhausted enough I didn't have time to worry I could finally relax and concentrate only on my breathing. Other people do yoga for peace, but I ran myself out of steam.

I watched Sunny's black and white fur stretch as he ran before me. He would almost look like a wolf if it wasn't for the red bandana around his neck and his broad snout.

I got Sunny when I was fourteen, as a birthday present from Sam and Emily. Bonbon, their old Siberian Husky, had had a litter at that time so they brought me one of her pups. Aunt Emily said he was probably a mix with some local dog, but I liked to believe he was part wolf. The Quileute legends said they were our protectors, so I hoped he was mine.

The path curved up ahead of me and I followed it. Sunny, on the other hand, didn't. "No, no, no. Don't you dare."

But of course he did. Within just a few seconds he was out of my sight, galloping off in a different direction.

"You stupid mutt!" Not another mud bath.

**xxx**

Since I promised Ray a movie night before my birthday (to which I would go willingly and without a fuss), I didn't spend more than an hour outside. With that and giving my loving dog a bath I barely had time to change from my sweaty and, thanks to Sunny, muddy clothes to some fresh ones just as Ray texted me to come over.

Since Ray didn't had a driving license for obvious reasons, and I refused to drive my car for other reasons, we took the bus. Despite Ray's tortured day and me never liking crowded places, we had lots of fun at the movies. The city zoo had some special opening hours for defined species that evening so we went to take a look there too. We laughed, we argued, Ray almost lost his kidney and I had a blast.

We missed the last bus on our way back, we were also out of money for a cab and we didn't came up with the idea to call someone so we hiked for an hour and half to get home. I was still cackling a little when I got back. Ray lost an argument with a monkey in the zoo. For the last half an hour he was trying to prove me right and the monkey wrong. Only Ray could.

It was dark now, and when I turned on the lights at the house I stood still for a moment, taking in the silence. The joy with which I came now left as I walked to the kitchen.

The sink was bare but for one cup and plate which I had left there that morning. No one came home, then. I washed the two dishes silently, listening to the steady flow of water and the ticking of the old clock in the living room.

I was drying my hands when a little light caught my attention. The answering machine's light was blinking telling me there was a message. Putting the washcloth down I went to press the green button.

_"Suzanne are you there?" _My aunt's voice echoed in the empty house_ "I've been trying to reach you everywhere and you secretary keeps telling me you're busy. I've been calling you for three days so it's really time you stop avoiding me and take at least 3 minutes so we can make some arrangements. Call me or Sam as soon as possible and don't mind the hour. This is for Claire, you know."_

I frowned at my mother. She was making Emily stress out over nothing. The light was still blinking, telling me that that wasn't the only message, so I pushed it again.

_"Claire? This is your mother speaking. I'll be working late again today, so you have to make some dinner for yourself. There's money on the counter so call some take away at least. Your father is currently in New York, they're having some problem with a certain contract so he might have to stay a day or two longer, but he says hello. Have you talked to your aunt yet? My secretary has been getting her messages, but I haven't had the time to return her calls. Be kind and ask her what this is about, I really don't have the time. I have to go now, be good."_

No more messages.

I ignored the money on the counter, I ignored dad's 'problem with a contract' and I ignored mum's 'late again'. How many times has she left the same message? Or any message at all? I just grabbed my bag from the hall, turned off the lights behind me and closed the door to my room.

I could still pretend.

* * *

Salute,

UW


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next day was the day that was marked to go bad. Someone somewhere above must have marked it on the calendar. They must have drawn a big red 'X' over the date with my name written under it. 'Official Sucks for Claire Day'. Freakin' ha ha ha.

It wasn't even seven in the morning yet when I woke up. I stretched and yawned and thought what a beautiful morning it was. It was cloudy, dark and ready to rain. Mmm, feels like home. I dragged my self out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom. Still with sleepy eyes and another yawn, I entered our only bathroom in the house. Upon opening the door, I was presented with a very naked man standing in front of the mirror, brushing his hair with his hands. And that man was not my father nor my non existent brother.

"Holy shit!"

As quickly as possible I yanked the door shut with my back to it and my hands holding the knob.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

That was either a burglar with a strange naked complex, some random nut with a naked complex or some poor sap who got lost on his way home and entered the wrong house. Naked.

"Hey, wait I can explain!"

There was banging on the door I was leaning on with all my strength. He was also trying the knob, but I was holding it so tight my knuckles turned white from the pressure. Darn it, where was my phone when I needed it.

"You can start explaining AFTER I call the police," I replied. _"Sunny!" _I whispered harshly in hopes that my dog would come to my assistance. He could be very intimidating when he wanted to, but since he was not a morning dog, he usually slept till noon. Blasted dog!

I was beginning to lose my grip on the knob as the guy kept trying to yank the door open. Just as he was about to open it with another firm push, I slammed my back to the door again to keep him locked in.

"No, wait, you got it all wrong," The guy shouted from behind the door "I'm a friend… of your mother!"

That made me loose my grip again. I went still for a couple of seconds, but it was enough for him to force his way opening the door. He peeked at me from behind it as I backed away from him. Well, at least he was modest enough to tie a towel around his waist.

"Uh, hello. I'm James DeTamble." He stuck a hand out at me as if standing almost naked in front of me was normal way to introduce himself. I eyed his hand warily and then him again. I could either take it and shake it like a good local, or try the three basic punches Ray taught me of how to disable a man. Decisions, decisions… I liked the second option best.

"Right," he pulled his hand back when I didn't take it. "You must be Claire. Suzy has been telling me a lot about you."

I really doubt that, my mother rarely talks about me. Did she mention she has a husband, though? She should talk about him more often.

"Soooo," he started while I still didn't spoke "Looks like we're having rain today, huh."

I stared back at him. Was he trying to make a casual conversation about the weather while he stood there with nothing but a towel barely covering his _parts_ and me still flattened from sleep in my PJ's?

"Uh," I stared at him really not knowing what to say. Should I still try hurting him and then running for the phone?

A growl from behind me saved me from doing anything harsh. Thank you, Sunny! My little hero came from behind with his lips curling in a snarl. I'm very proud of how white Sunny's fangs are.

Mr. DeTamble paled to what I would call a very unhealthy white colour. "Nice dog you got there." He took a step back, tightening his grip on the towel. "Is this his usual way of greeting guests?"

"Only the ones that he's never seen before who enter his domain." I suddenly felt more courageous with Sunny there. More spontaneous, too. I left the man where he was and walked back to my room.

When I came back with a phone in my hand, neither of them had moved. Sunny stood his ground, making the man even more nervous with just a flick of his tail. Very obviously I pushed three numbers on my phone and then set it to my ear.

"No wait, don't—" He tried reaching out for me and that was all the encouragement Sunny needed to jump him. I think we all moved at the same time. Mr. Bare DeTamble reached for my hand, Sunny jumped for his towel and I ducked to get hold of Sunny's collar.

It all ended up in a tug-o-war. Sunny was growling while pulling at the towel. Mr. Unclothed-Guy had a firm grip around my hand in which I was holding the phone, while with his other he was trying to keep the towel in place. And I was trying to yank my hand out of his grip while pulling Sunny back by his collar. We made a nifty triangle of growling, "Sunny!"s and "Let go!"s. I really have no idea if the 'let go' was meant for me or Sunny.

"What are you all doing?" My mother's sudden shriek surprised Mr. Nude James and I, but Sunny took advantage of the situation and pulled again.

There was a moment of silence followed by a growl and a ripping noise. The pressure around my hand loosened. I stumbled back with Sunny while the man almost lost his footing when Sunny let go. We stood still and stared at each other.

Then James DeTamble started laughing, my mother scowled and I stared at the big piece of towel hanging from Sunny's mouth.

And it was only seven o'clock in the morning.

**xxx**

"Claire, what did I tell you about that animal staying in the house?"

A few minutes later we were sitting at the kitchen table all dressed and presentable, while Sunny was locked outside. I never understood what bothered my mother so much about Sunny being in the house. He was a clean dog, he was trained and he never destroyed any furniture. Plus, she was hardly home enough for it to bother her.

James, as he urged me to call him, turned out to be an okay man. Despite whatever relationship he had with my mother, I somehow couldn't fault him. He was probably the same age as her, handsome, charming and had an even better body, from what I saw. Dad really ought to visit the gym now and again.

But what really made me like him was his good sense of humour and the fact that he could cook. He didn't blame me about the whole incident, he actually found it cool that I had such good dog. On top of that he was making us breakfast. Which my mother never bothered doing, and I never knew how to make anything edible on an open fire.

"Let it go Suzy, the dog was just trying to protect her as he should," James said firmly while setting a plate of delicious smelling bacon before me with a wink.

"He could have bitten you," argued my mother.

James leaned back on the counter very casually. For someone I've never seen in our house before he looked very comfortable there. "I shouldn't have grabbed her that way. I provoked Sunny and if it's anyone to blame then it's me."

I would also like to point out that my mother doesn't even know Sunny's name, while this guy is at least nice enough to remember.

Completely ignoring James, my mother riled up on me. "And that was no way to act. James kindly introduced himself while you let that dog on him and called the police. We're lucky enough you didn't push that call button or else they would have tracked this address down." What she really meant was: 'If the police came over people would talk and your father would find out about this affair.' Jeez, sorry mum.

I stayed quiet through most of it all. To end an argument with my mother it was better to sit silently and let her talk. I never even developed a 'talk-back-to-your-parents' mechanism to begin with. Ray said I was timid, but I believed it was just useless.

James put a hand on my mother's shoulder as if trying to calm her down. His voice was calm and cool when he spoke to her. "She did the right thing. I'm a stranger here and she had never seen me before so of course she got scared. Calling the police was the right thing to do."

My mother still kept scowling. Seriously, sometimes I believe she was even scowling while giving birth to me. No matter what I did or how I did it, she would always find a fault. I know they never wanted me and they never planned a second child, but mum… when was the last time you smiled at me?

Seeing that she might try to argue some more, James turned towards me to change the topic. "When's your school starting? I can give you a lift if you'd like."

"She has a car or she can walk on her own," Mother suddenly snapped before I could even reply.

"It's started to rain outside," James pointed out the kitchen window "And I'm on my way anyway. My good deed of the day—spare some gas and energy for Claire. C'mon kid, get ready. I'll meet you at the car in fifteen minutes."

That was my safest cue to leave. As silently as possible I left the kitchen and ran upstairs to get ready before my mother could fire another argument.

I texted Ray to let him know he didn't need to stop by my house. I also tried coming up with a plan to get Sunny in from the rain without my mother noticing. But I ran out of time in the end. Fifteen minutes later I was standing next to an expensive, slick, black BMW. Who was this guy anyway?

James came from behind the house with his keys jingling and whistling happily. He unlocked the doors and a few moments later, with a few directions pointed out, we were already speeding down our street. We were silent at first. I kept staring outside, while he kept his eyes on the road.

The rain came down harder. Poor Sunny.

"He'll be okay."

I looked up at him, confused.

"Your dog," he clarified. "I left that little doggy door at the back opened before we left. He can get through, right? It looked a little small for him."

It _was_ small for him, since it was made for smaller dogs, but I made Sunny master a few levels of agility to get him through. A smile formed on my lips. He'll be fine.

"Thank you."

"Well look at you," beamed James. "You _can_ smile. You're a really serious kid for your age, you know that?"

I turned my gaze back on the road while James happily chattered on. Funny, he slightly reminded me of Ray. "So you're a woman of few words, eh? You must be a social blast."

Yep, definitely like Ray.

"Don't worry about what happened back there," he continued "I know that Suzanne can hit where it really hurts. God knows she hits everyone at work with her words." He looked at me then with a funny look. "I just never knew she uses that at home too."

I recognized that look then. Pity. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment, but I tried to hide it with staring out the side window again "It's okay." The rain was making the world outside blurry and unfocused.

The car slowed down as we stopped before my school. I opened the door to leave, but James' next word stopped me from leaving.

"You're a good kid, Claire. Don't let her get to you."

I looked back at him with wonder in my eyes. There was a slight smile on his face, no doubt he knew what he was talking about. I ducked my head and stepped out in the rain "Thanks for the ride."

"Anytime," he waved. "See you around."

And just like that he was gone. It was 8.20 am now and I tried not to think about the 'see you around' too much. Strangely, I wasn't really bothered by this man. A man who I probably should despise for ruining my parents' marriage, but their marriage has been ruined for years so what did I care what they did to amuse themselves when the other wasn't present?

My father had affairs and my mother cheated (with a nice guy as it seems). Who was I to judge them?

**xxx**

"You're weird today."

"Aren't I always weird?"

"Yeah, but you're weirder than weird."

I gave Ray an annoying look. Couldn't he see I was not up for a talk? "I had a weird morning which made me weirder than usual, okay?"

It was lunch time and we were seating at our usual places. I didn't feel like eating. Ray must have noticed the untouched food on my plate by now.

"What happened?"

I sighed. I really did not want to talk about this. "Nothing, just a misunderstanding with mum."

Ray watched me closely for a while. He then shook his head, ruffling his hair with irritation. "I know what your 'misunderstandings' with your mother look like, Claire. Don't say it's nothing. Now, what happened?"

I lay my head on the table, closing my eyes. I _really_ did not want to talk about this, but telling Ray might make me feel at least a little better.

"I had a run in with mum's 'friend' this morning." I did the quoting marks with my fingers over the word friend.

Ray was silent. Again he was studying my face for any reaction. "How should I understand this 'run in'?"

"He was stark naked, Sunny attacked him and I was about to heel in some kicks when mum made an appearance."

Ray groaned "How do these things happen to you?"

"It was meant to be."

He tugged on my sleeve trying, to gain my attention and open my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." I opened my eyes to look at him "I meet James DeTamble. Really nice guy actually, you would like him."

"You think?" He smiled a little, "What was he like?"

"Charming mostly, but he defended Sunny and me against mum and that's a big plus in my book." I closed my eyes again and sighed softly.

I felt Ray's hand on my head as he brushed my hair slowly "It will be okay. Look on the bright side, you'll be seeing your aunt and uncle soon."

"Yeah." A smile tugged on my lips.

**xxx**

I was home at about five in the afternoon the same day. Sunny was nowhere in sight. He was probably somewhere outside trying to catch as much mud as possible and then bring it all back in so I could clean it up later. Sunny has a fetish for mud.

"Claire, where have you been? It's late."

My mum was standing at the kitchen door with a washcloth in her hands and a scowl on her face. What was she doing home so already? Normally she ended work at seven, but most of the time she worked late—till nine. No wonder Sunny was not around. She probably closed the doggy door the as soon as she noticed.

I slowly slid my wet backpack on the floor and then shook off my wet jacket. I was soaked to the skin because of the rain. Even though I was cold I enjoyed it. This is how I was usually when I was little.

"I stayed with Ray through his basketball training," I finally answered, looking past her. I hoped ignoring her would make her leave me alone. But no such luck.

"Why do you keep spending time with that boy anyway? I know you two are not a pair, but really Claire, you should find more friends."

Translation: I do not like Ray and therefore think you shouldn't spend so much time with him.

"Ray is all the friends I need, mum." I scowled back at her. My mother never liked Ray. From the very beginning she had made it clear that she did not approve of him. While Ray was a happy-go-lucky kid with a carefree attitude she never liked the fact that he didn't care what other people thought about him. Ray could make a fool out of himself (which he does regularly) in front of a giant crowd and walk away gracefully without giving it a second thought.

He was different, and my mother hates _different_.

"He's bad crowd for you, Claire. He hangs around people I don't want you to cross. Don't give me that look. You know I'm only saying this because I care for you."

It was hard to keep the glare off my face or the anger from colouring my voice. She never cared. "Ray is very smart about the people he hangs with, you do not need to worry."

My mother shook her head in disappointment while muttering something about Sarah, my older sister. Sarah was the golden daughter, she was mummy and daddy's favourite. She would dance as they would sing, but for me she was a reminder of how a perfect daughter should be. But of course they only saw all the good stuff about her. For them, Sarah possessed no flaws. They didn't know about the drugs or the alcohol or what her always-different boyfriends were like.

And here was _I _with my _bad_ crowd by the name of Raymond Rodman. Ray, who is by far my one and only friend. Ray, who is a neat freak, always makes his bed in the morning and can't tolerate a piece of clothing laying on the ground. Ray, who gets freaked out if I touch my eyeball. Ray, who likes kittens and hates milk. And Ray, who is gay. When mum found out about that she almost went thorough the roof. She actually forbade me from seeing him, as if he could influence me in any wrong way. Pffh, Ray does social services with his younger sister, and he actually took me with him a few times. He plays basketball with kids from the orphanage and he helps organize field trips for them, but he's bad crowd for my mum because he's gay. Welcome to my world.

"Why are you home so early?" I asked, changing the topic.

"I took the day off. I needed some stuff to take care of, documents to arrange and clean the house since your father is coming home tomorrow." Huh, I didn't even know she could take a day off. "About this morning, Claire. James is—"

I cut her off. "I don't need to hear it. If you need to explain yourself save it for Dad."

"Claire!" She gaped at me.

This was one of the rare occasions I dared being defiant. I would rather not hear anything about her personal life besides Dad. The less I know, the better. "Sorry, mum. Just… I don't want to know, okay. No need to explain it to me."

My mother sighed and messaged her temples "Fine, but I hope you understand that when your father is not home I—"

"I said it's okay!" I cut her off. Why does she always have to keep explaining herself? Can't she see what this was doing to us? We don't trust each other any more, we go behind each others back and we lie all the time. What kind of a family are we?

_The kind that keeps pretending._

I tried walking past her and I would have walked on regardless to what she would say, but the next sentence stopped me dead.

"I talked with Emily."

I turned slowly to look at her steadily. It was obvious she had my attention now as I patiently waited for her to continue. "And what did you talk about?"

"About her and Sam's annual visit for your birthday." She brushed her dark hair behind her shoulder and then forward again. A sign that she was nervous. "I must admit I completely forgot that was this weekend."

_She… she forgot my birthday?_

"Emily already had the tickets booked, but she mentioned Sam was suddenly having some trouble at work and she didn't know if he would be able to resolve it in time. She wanted to reserve next week's plane, but I have a whole list of important conferences that week and there's no way your father could play a host. He and Sam never got along."

_There's no way she's telling me…_

"So I simply told Emily to cancel the visit this year. I told her you're old enough to understand,"

_No._

"But she kept insisting, I forgot how annoying she can be. Anyway, we couldn't come to an agreement for a date until I persuaded her to just postpone the visit until the summer holidays or Christmas."

_So long._

"We'll just go to dinner on Saturday. I'll call Sarah and see if she'll be able to come, but she's so busy with school these days—I hope she can take a day off. Lucky Simon is coming home tomorrow, I'll call him right now to make arrangements. Claire, are you okay? You look a little pale."

No, I wasn't okay. "Why can't I go there on my own? I'm responsible and I'll be 18, that's legal. Plus, you know Aunt Emily will take good care of me."

It was the wrong thing to ask. For some unknown reason my mother disliked the idea of sending me back there with passion. And she hated it even more if _I_ suggested it.

"Absolutely not! You can't go there on your own and that's final!"

"But-"

"Don't be selfish, Claire!" She cut me off. "You're old enough to get over that cursed place. Act your age."

_I'm selfish._

Just like I was selfish when I was 12 and crying my eyes out when we were moving to this place. I screamed as I clung to the door of our house in La Push while my mother tried dragging me to the car. I was forced to let go when my dad came, picking me up and carrying me out.

After that I must have cried for weeks. I didn't eat much, I slept poorly and I was not even capable of making friends in a new environment. My teachers noticed of course so they talked to mum. She explained it was just the shock of moving so far away from home and she kept repeating, "She'll get over it."

But I never did. Selfish, I was.

I ran for the door. Luckily I had left it unlocked as I half forced my way outside. I don't know if I turned left or right at the end of the driveway. I was blind. I didn't care which direction I went in. I just ran. And I ran.

I don't know for how long I went, but the familiar ache in my lungs and legs calmed me with their familiarity and I was able to come back to my senses. It wasn't raining anymore, but I was still wet from earlier when I came home. I breathed hard, but it wasn't from exhaustion. My hands were trembling and there were dots dancing before my eyes. I stopped by a traffic pole and leaned some of my weight on it. The pressure in my chest just got worst. Before I could even prepare myself I leaned forward and started throwing up.

_No more, please no more._

I hadn't had much to empty, but my stomach even though it was now empty still kept clenching in a painful way. I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt before straightening up.

I finally took in my surroundings. I vaguely had an idea where I was. Thank god, Ray lived here near.

**xxx**

"Shit." Ray ushered me inside his house. It was dark outside by now. "Claire, what happened?"

I stood before him like a lost ghost not knowing what to do with myself. I was trembling all over from the cold, my thin shirt wet and my shoes soaked. The pain in my stomach was still there, and I had to fight the urge not to topple over again.

Ray took hold of my hand to drag me to his room. He appeared to be alone in the house. A rare sight for the Rodmans, since whenever they went anywhere they usually went together.

He forced me to sit down on his bed. After pulling a blanket around me, he kneeled so he was at my eye level. He then forced my face gently up so that I was looking at him. He repeated his last words. "What happened, Claire?"

I shook my head at him and bowed low so that I was hugging myself. I was crying. When did I start crying again?

This scared Ray. He had never seen me cry before. "Talk to me, please."

"I can't… I can't take this anymore!" I shouted. I hugged myself closer, still not looking at him. Anger. I have no idea where all the anger came from suddenly, but I knew I was angry at myself.

Ray was taken aback by my sudden outburst, but his warm hands gently griped my shoulders anyway. Somehow they weren't warm enough for my liking "Claire, what-"

"Home," I whispered finally looking up at him "I just want to go home."

Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his shoulder "I've had enough."

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Uh, should I promise some LaPush in next chapter? Tell me what you guys think.

Cheers,

UW


	5. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay. I kept rewriting this chapter for a long time and I still don't like it. Meh.

Also I forgot to mention that there will be some **BD spoilers**. I hadn't planned it at first, but then all of this and that and the cheese, carrots and so on... so there will be some. I hope you guys don't mind. I know there have been a lot of -disagreements- about BD, but don't let that stop you from reading.

BIG thanks for the wonderful reviews, they are love! I'm also very glad you like Claire's character, she's hard but fun to write ^^.

Now as many of you wanted - The La Push chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

La Push

There were days when it was easy to endure and there were days when it was simply unbearable, but there never was a day when he would forget.

At the beginning he thought he would go mad from the pain, from the nightmares, from the emptiness. Many thought so too, but somehow somewhere deep in his consciousness was stored a tiny box of sanity which forbade him to completely lose it. The little box knew she was still out there waiting for him so whenever he was too close to the edge it would open slightly and pull him back. It was like she was hiding in the box and he only caught occasional little glimmers of her proving him she was still there. But how could she still be there when he failed the only duty he had?

He could hear her almost every night. She would either be telling him a sweet story while smiling along or she would be crying and screaming his name. Unfulfilled dreams or nightmares… which were worst?

He could live without a limb or two, or be blind or deaf. Or everything together. He could lose all his senses, be without food and water, no sun, no warmth, no nothing. But not without her.

Gone.

Her mother forbade him to come near them when she found out the truth. She wouldn't listen to him or Emily or any other reason. The first opportunity she got, she made her family pack their bags and move far away as possible.

Claire was screaming that day. She was screaming his name as her father carried her outside. He was there then too when she left. He was hidden in the shadows of the forest near her house. He was pinned to the ground by Jacob, Embry and Paul as he clawed the earth under him in desperate need to get to her.

He wanted to take her in his arms and beg her to stop crying. He wanted to pull her out of the car when her father locked the door after her. He wanted to protect her from any harm, any pain. God, he would do anything to see her smile again.

Oh, how he failed her.

She was calling him. She was banging on the car window pleading, screaming, crying. _She_ was calling _his_ name to get her, to protect her, to stop them from taking her away. Her father started the car and just like that she was taken away, far from his reach.

And all he could do was watch.

**xxx**

"Still no answer?"

Emily put the receiver down with a sigh. "No," she answered her husband who came to sit down next to her "I hadn't been able to reach her since yesterday. She's got her phone turned off."

"You're worried."

Emily leaned on her husband "Aren't you?"

Sam sneaked a hand around her to pull her closer "I am. Do you think she's angry with us?"

"No, Claire's not like that," Emily turned towards Sam to bury her face in his warm chest "I'm very worried. Something bad must have happened."

Sam held her close to him trying to offer her his silent comfort. Even though he didn't show it, he was probably even more worried than Emily. When it came to Claire it also came to Quil, and Sam had to do everything in his power to keep calm and not think too much about this when he was near. "I'm sure it's nothing serious." He kissed his beloved's temple.

"Sam," continued Emily clenching his shirt "This doesn't feel right. If anything happens to Claire…"

Unknowingly, he tightened his grip on his wife. Even the thought of losing an imprint was unbearable. To actually lose one… what would that do them? And to Quil?

Sam bent his head to his wife's ear and whispered, "Hush now, if anything bad had happened your sister would have called by now. Maybe Claire's phone just broke."

"She would have done something to get it fixed or she would have called me from some other phone, she knows we still need to talk."

Sam tried to reason. "Maybe she just forgot, Emily. I'm sure Claire is fine and safe at home."

"I hope so," murmured Emily against him. What she really hoped was that her sister hadn't done anything harsh that would result in Claire not picking up her phone. Claire being mad at her and Sam sounded better than Claire being hurt somewhere. And Claire had been hurt so many times on so many levels. She was forced to move away from here when everyone knew how much she loved this place. She had been so different when they had visited her for her 13th birthday. She was so happy to see them that Emily actually feared she would start hyperventilating. And how she cried when they had to leave.

Next year it seemed to have gotten worst. She became very silent. She still smiled though, but never laughed out loud. A big turn in character considering she was a little chatter box when younger.

So they brought her a puppy for her birthday after that. Sam thought that if maybe she had a companion for which she would have to take care of and would remind her of them then maybe the old Claire would come out again. She didn't let go of the pup their whole visit and no one could wipe the smile off her face. It seemed to have helped somehow.

Next year when they came again there was another guest for her birthday. Ray, as he introduced himself, was the first friend they ever saw with Claire besides her La Push gang. It was as if she didn't have any other friends in Chicago.

With Ray, Claire had her hands full. He was a very active person who kept dragging Claire around to do this or that. Emily liked the boy because of the way Claire was around him. She looked more relaxed and happy. There was also the old sparkle in her eyes again. It was faint, but it was there. Sam, of course, didn't like him because he was a boy. Emily shook her head at her husband for being a hypocrite. He might not like him, but he couldn't deny that Ray was a fair boy.

Sam was brushing her hair while he continued speaking. "If we can't contact her by tomorrow evening we might as well call your sister to check."

Emily didn't like the idea "We'll just get into another fight in the end."

"You can hang up on her after she tells you where Claire is." Sam smiled. "No arguments needed."

Emily nodded. She would call Suzanne right now if she could, but knowing her sister she would just hung up on her. Suzanne needed a day or two to cool down from their fight, but even then she would still bring up the argument just to get her way. She had changed so little over the years. No wonder Emily had always been closer to Leah than her older sister.

"Do you think we can sneak a visit after the vampires leave?" she asked looking up at Sam.

There was a new coven of vampires lurking around their land so the pack was on full alert and couldn't risk reducing their numbers. Plus, their son Mattis was beginning to phase and neither Sam nor Emily would take the risk of leaving their home now so they hoped the problem would be solved by next week or the week after.

Emily's sister took this chance by brushing them off this year. Since their big fight six years ago, Suzanne has done everything in her power to keep Claire away from them as much as possible. She couldn't deny Claire one visit per year, but she never permitted more. Since Claire was now old enough, they wanted to arrange more private visits with just her and without her mother knowing. Suzanne would be ready to sue them if she found out so Claire's age was an important factor if they ever make it to court.

Sam nodded. "As soon as you get Claire on the line we'll arrange one. Does that sound good to you?"

"It's better than nothing," nodded Emily.

_Be safe Claire._

**xxx**

Collin was over at the Uley household for his annual Friday lunch before going back to work. He was gobbling down the food Emily left in the fridge marked with his name for obvious safety reasons. Her and Sam's son Mattis was sitting opposite him looking very feverish and sick.

"Go back to bed, kid. The phasing won't be finished for another few days. You look like shit by the way," Collin pointed his fork towards the teen trying to patronize him.

"I can't," groaned Mattis, leaning his tall frame over the table until his forehead was touching the cool surface. "The more I stay in bed, the worse I feel."

"Well no use wasting your energy. Back to bed is my best advice."

Mattis groaned some more before looking up again. His eyes were unclear and red from lack of sleep. While Collin commented he looked like shit, he felt like it too.

Collin stuck the fork in a big chunk of meat on his plate and waved it in front of Mattis' face. "Want some?"

The boy's face went from pale to three different shades of green in just three seconds. He clamped a hand over his mouth and ran for the bathroom.

Collin snickered. "This is the last time you'll be running out of the kitchen with that expression."

Satisfied with the result, Collin gobbled down the last bit of food off his plate. Just as he was getting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher the phone began ringing.

He straightened up, wondering if he should get that. Sam was out with Jacob, Emily was shopping for groceries, Ally was still in school and Mattis was currently toppled over the toilet seat. He should.

"Uley residence," he answered casually, while struggling with the cord to get it untangled.

"Who's this?" asked a demanding woman's voice on the other side.

Collin rolled his eyes. No need to be rude. "Collin Fluke, I'm—"

"Oh," she cut him off, now sounding even more annoying "This is Suzanne Summers, I would like to speak to Emily. It's urgent."

Emily's sister, thought Collin with a growl. Through Sam he had saw all the argument she and Emily had been having over Claire and all the ugly stuff she had to say about Quil. That woman was downright unpleasant.

"She's out at the moment, can I leave a message?" Collin grimaced while trying to stay polite. This was not his fight.

"No, I would much rather speak to her," she sounded disgusted by even talking to him. He almost broke the receiver in his hand from the sudden wave of anger. That good for nothing little bi-

A jingle of keys stopped him from opening his mouth and throwing in a few tasteful insults on her account. He fought against the urge to just slam the phone down when Emily finally walked into the kitchen with grocery bags.

"Hold on a sec, she just made it in," and I hope you don't fall down the stairs while holding a knife and accidently stabbing yourself fifteen times. Collin would bite the phone if Emily weren't looking. He then rather traded it with her for the bags.

"Yes?" Emily's musical voice asked in the receiver. For a moment Collin wondered how sweet Emily could be in any relation with the demon witch on the other side. Emily's sister talked like a banshee too.

He moved around the kitchen putting away the groceries. The whole pack knew where all the food stood. There were no secrets in the Uley kitchen.

"Claire did what…?" Emily's shocked voice brought Collin to a stop. He turned to see a very pale Emily staring open mouthed into empty space with the receiver weakly holding in her hand.

"She ran away!"

**xxx**

The Uley household has been on full alert since the moment Emily got that call from her sister. She made Collin, who was at that time the only present werewolf, make rounds to find Sam and Jacob. She didn't dare call Quil.

Sam came home as soon as he got the message. Since then he has been shouting at anybody but Emily who dared asking stupid questions. Mattis and Alison hadn't dared to come out of their rooms since Seth got a black eye for asking if he could call his wife to come over.

Jacob called in a meeting at their house. Everyone but Brady, Embry and Quil were present since the first two were running their shift around the reservation and Quil was at the Garage. The others were stuffed in Emily's little kitchen voicing their opinions of what they should do, who should go looking for Claire and the possible destinations she might take.

"Emily, what exactly did Suzanne tell you when she said Claire had run away?" Jacob asked for what seemed like the tenth time. They needed to get all the information right before taking any action. Or calling Quil.

Emily gripped the cup of coffee before her before answering and repeating the conversation she had. "First she asked if Claire was here or if I had talked to her since our last conversation. I said no, we hadn't spoken to each other since the day before Suzanne cancelled on us. I asked what was wrong and she said Claire ran away. I must have asked her a thousand times how that was possible, why Claire would do something like that and if she was completely sure and so on. She mentioned they had some kind of a disagreement and Claire left the house in a haste. Claire must have stormed out, and what ever Suzanne told her must have been bad. Claire is not one to have a temper like that."

Seth looked thoughtful at that "She never came back after that? When was this?"

"It must have happened around Wednesday evening. But Suzanne is sure Claire came home that night because of Sunny," answered Emily.

"What about Sunny?"

Emily gave Seth a knowing look. "Sunny was still home the next morning. But now, two days later, she hasn't seen him since. It means Claire wasn't kidnapped. She left on her own, taking Sunny with her. She would never leave him behind."

"What if she's staying at a friend's house and took the dog with her? Did Suzanne contact her friends?" It was Jacob who asked this. Emily could only shook her head "Claire doesn't have that many friends from what I was able to gather. Suzanne called Ray and he already knew. He said Claire wasn't there anymore and that she simply left."

"With no information about where she was going?"

Emily shook her head again "He wouldn't say."

Sam suddenly stood up, looking livid again. "What's the little punk's number, I'm calling him. Heck, give me his address I'll track him down."

"Sam," Emily put a hand on Sam's shoulder to stop him. Her hand was soft, but her voice stern. "You will not terrorize her friend."

"I'm just-"

"No," she cut him off. "I know you won't settle this calmly. And if Claire's friend is ready to protect her in such a way that he would lie to us I know you'll explode the first chance you get. Be glad she has such loyal friends, don't scare them off."

"Emily…"

"Give me the phone Sam," his little wife demanded hotly. It's amazing how such a small woman can move such a big man. To the pack watching this was nothing new. While pack members might fight and argue between themselves until blood is spilled and bones are broken, an imprint can calmly walk up to them, demand their way and no violent arguments would follow.

Sam gave Emily the phone. She turned her back to him and began typing in the number her sister left that is supposed to be Ray's. Eyeing her sulking husband over her shoulder she put the phone to her ear. It rang three times before a young man's voice answered _"Cheers!"_

"Hello, this is Emily Uley speaking. Ray, is that you?"

"_Mrs. Uley! Hey, how's it going?"_

Emily smiled. Without doubt that cheerful voice belonged to Ray. He was an odd one, loud and open to people, and he could always bring a smile on her face. "I think you can guess how things are going. My sister called an hour ago."

Ray snickered._ "Must have been an exciting call."_

"Ray," started Emily patiently. "You know where Claire is."

"_I can only assume,"_

Oh yeah, Sam would have lost it by now. When Emily took another peek at her husband who was eavesdropping like the rest of the pack, she could see him clenching and unclenching his fists. Probably imagining he was holding Ray's neck by now.

"And what are you assuming?"

"_She's close to home."_

"Home?" Does that mean she's still somewhere in Chicago? Maybe she's just annoying her mother and is really close by, Emily thought. She could have planned this to give her mother a scare. Taking her things and her dog with her she could be staying at the closest motel or maybe even at Ray's.

No, Emily mentally shook her head, Claire wouldn't do something like that without a good reason. She wouldn't pull a prank like that just to scare her mother.

"_Yeah, she said she's was going home. That's all I can say."_

Emily sighed "Ray, you'll have to be more specific than that. I don't understand."

"_Look,"_ began Ray hesitating a little _"I promised her not to tell anyone where she was going. Even you, Mrs. Uley. I'm sorry."_

"How about a hint?"

Ray laughed with good humour. _"You really don't have to worry, Claire will drop a call very soon."_

"That's all?"

"_That's all."_

"Thanks, Ray," and she meant it.

"_What for? I couldn't help you very much."_

Emily smiled slightly "For being Claire's good friend."

"_It should be the other way around,"_ Ray argued _"I should be thanking Claire."_

Still smiling, Emily knew there was nothing else she would get out of the boy. "Goodbye, Ray. Please don't hesitate to call me if there's any new news about Claire,"

"_I think you would be the first to know anyway. Sayonara, Mrs. Uley."_

The line went dead. Emily sighed as she put the phone down. She looked up at her husband to see his reaction about the whole conversation. Sam was staring back down at her with a neutral expression. If she didn't knew better she would say he was mad, but knowing her husband he was probably already miles ahead, thinking where Claire could be.

"Emily, what do _you _think?" Jacob asked "Where could she be? Where could she go?"

Emily sat down on the only empty chair left in the full room. The only answer she could come up with was 'anywhere'. "I'm hoping she's somewhere in Chicago. I don't like the idea of her being alone anywhere."

The silent room agreed with her. Emily swept the place with her glance missing Brady, Embry and Quil. She dreaded telling Quil what happened, there's no telling how he'd react. Emily doubted he would listen to reason if he knew.

"Uh, Emily?"

Emily looked up at Camille, Seth's imprint and wife, who was checking some documents she set on the table. Emily hadn't even noticed her arrival. "Yes?"

"What's Claire's last name?" Camille didn't look up from a piece of paper she was holding. Emily noticed her hands shook lightly.

"Summers, why?" Camille hasn't meet Claire yet since she and Seth have been together for only 4 or 5 years. Suzanne and her family have moved away 6 years ago so Camille didn't know much about Claire but the fact that she was Quil's imprint.

Camille finally looked up with a broad smile. "She's coming here."

Questions erupted from every side, everyone talking over each other.

"How do you know?"

"Why would she-?"

"How-?"

"Are you sure?"

Sam growled, agitated, and the room instantly calmed down. Despite Sam stepping down from the Alpha position years ago and Jacob taking the lead, everyone still listened and obeyed Sam if he made a demand. They quieted down and Sam asked the question. "How would you know that?"

Camille showed him the paper she was holding. It came from some file she had for her work at the Quileute school. It was a transfer application. "She sent in a demand to transfer schools. We got this yesterday via fax and I was supposed to check her info."

Sam stared at the paper, almost not trusting their luck. There before him written in black on white was Claire's name, date of birth, address and more telling him she would be transferring schools to La Push. Claire's picture was staring back at him, silent and lifeless, but familiar.

It felt like a large boulder rolled off his chest. They now knew where Claire was headed and to expect her hopefully soon. The relief that washed over Sam was like a warm blanket on a cold night. He looked at Jacob and handed him the paper. "I think we can tell Quil now."

Jacob double checked the paper and grinned while pulling out a phone to make the call. It still might not be a wise idea, but keeping secrets about an imprint against a brother wolf was against their rules even if it were to protect him.

With teary eyes, Emily smiled up at her husband who pulled her into a brisk hug. Sam loved Claire as his own daughter she realized so he must have been even more worried than he had shown on the outside. She kissed his cheek with a whisper "Claire will be home soon."

Of course, that's what Ray meant when he said she was going home. To Claire, La Push has always been her home.

* * *

I reaaaaaally need to apologize to you guys for all the grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language so this is basically still training for me. I need a beta. I should get a beta. Any suggestions?

Oh, and if you guys have any suggestions or wishes about this story leave a review and I'll see what I can do. Thanks again, cheers!

UW

**EDIT:** I would like to thank the academy and Quil Explodes for beta reading the chapters up to here. She's awesome and I am forever grateful for putting up with my bad grammar. Everyone should thank her since these chapters are now finally readable :3


	6. Chapter 5

Firstly, a big, BIG, **BIG** 'thank you' goes to Katanagirl16 for doing her magic on this chapter and being my new Beta. This chapter would be lost without her. Secondly, I love reviews (who doesn't?) and I love you guys for reviewing. And thirdly, enjoy ch. 5!

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**Chapter 5**

Tired, I leaned on the steering wheel while staring forward at the house before me. The years had turned it from bright to faded yellow, the cheerful marigolds in the window boxes have started to bloom since it was spring, the mailbox was freshly repainted to blue and the side of the house which was in the process of being built when we moved was finished.

I closed my eyes sighing. This is the first time after four long days that I dared relax slightly. No more weird motels, creepy receptionists, bad food, road maps, places I have never been to and endless roads before me. It took me long enough to get here, but I was here now, where I wanted to be. La Push, right before my aunt and uncle's house.

I stepped out of the car just as the nostalgia overwhelmed me. I had to lean back on my car to regain my composure again, the familiar sights, smells and senses were strong. The forest was green as ever, the sky gray as usual and the slight changes on the house didn't bother me as much. I can remember how I used to play hide and seek with Mattis and Ally around the yard, I can still spot some of our usual hiding places. The old wooden bench where I used to sit and wait for Quil, whenever he was coming, was replaced with a newer one made out of finer wood, but it still stood on the same spot right under the old pine tree.

A tired smile formed on my face. I might just swoon on the place and couldn't care less. This place felt so familiar and safe.

Most of this was really Ray's idea, mine was just the wish to get here. I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for him. We had a long talk that night, and even after I managed to fall asleep he stayed up all night to make all the final preparations I would need.

At first I thought I would just buy a plane ticket and make the whole trip short, but taking Sunny on a plane was a problem. I didn't have all the necessary papers that allowed an animal on a plane and it would have taken me too long to get them all. Ray carefully asked if I would be ready to leave Sunny behind, but I wouldn't have that. Mum would pound him the first chance she got, and while Ray said his family would gladly take him in I doubt his sister wouldn't mind. She is allergic to dogs after all. No, Sunny was going or I wasn't.

Ray, bless him, managed to plan everything so it also included my dog. "It's simple really, your parents bought you a car so why for once not use it?" he began the next morning when I just barely opened my eyes "It should be a four day ride at least, we'd take the main roads, stay off the side ones and I see no problem why this wouldn't work. Right?"

I slept at his house that night like I did many times before. I sat up on his bed and noticed his floor covered with notes, maps and his laptop running. I look back at him and shook my head "Wrong."

Ray looked confused. I notice the bags under his eyes, he really had stayed up all night "What's wrong?"

"There's no _we_ in this trip. Just I. And Sunny. You're not going with me," I said firmly.

"But, Claire I-"

"No," I cut him off before he could continue "I have nothing to lose if I go. You, on the other hand, do."

Ray shook his head "That's really not importa-"

"Listen to me Ray!" I said with more force. He _had_ to listen to me "You have a family here, a caring family. You have basketball and a chance to play with the big teams one day. If you play the next two games good enough you'll be getting a scholarship. Don't blow your chances, you'll only regret it later."

"What about you?" he scowled. Good, that meant he was listening.

I smiled sadly and took his hand. It was warmer than mine, but not warm enough for me "My regrets are here, so there's not much for me to leave behind if I go. I don't know what to do with my life, Ray. It's not like I'm not interested in the world or not interested in doing stuff. It's just that I can't do them while I'm here. Actually while I'm anywhere, but _there_. Please understand Ray. I would love to take you with me, but you would pay the price in the end."

"Claire…" he gripped my hand back, but looked away sad. This was it. We were parting ways.

I tried cheering him up "Hey, it's not like we'll never see each other again. Summer's right around the corner, we'll visit and we still have that beach planned, right?"

"Yeah," Ray smiled slightly "Summer at the beach is a must. I promised you a real beach, didn't I?"

I nodded. A _real_ beach, by Ray's definition, is a hot place with sand or pebbles, a cool sea nearby and the weather hot enough that people would want to get naked. Not a cold, windy place like First Beach, where you can walk around in nothing but a raincoat and even then risk the chance of getting blown off to the open sea. Those were Ray's exact words after he did a little research on my home town. Charming.

"There's just a few things we have to take care of before you leave then," Ray said showing me the map he was working on and started pointing out the towns where I would stop. He also marked the motels, food stores, gas stations, near hospitals and police stations, calculated the approximate expenses I'd use and god knows what. I had to stare at the map for the next 40 minutes to understand all the pointers, marks and side notes he wrote. The neat freak.

In the end I'm very grateful for all the help. I'll be framing his road map the first chance I got, it was practically imposible to get lost with it. The only problem neither of us thought about, was that the trip would be tiring for just one person to take. While I had Sunny for company, it was hard to have just a one sided conversation for a few days. I didn't talk to other people unless I absolutely had to, I didn't sleep much and kept glancing over my shoulder as if my mother would come after me and drag me back. I drove from dawn till twilight and I avoided the dark as much as possible, since I didn't wish to push my luck on the road at night. I stopped only for gas, food, short breaks for Sunny and me and a few hours to "sleep" at the motels. I ate in the car and most of the time I didn't even notice what I was eating, as an example I once ate Sunny's box of doggie biscuits without even noticing until the box was empty. Those weren't so bad actually.

And now I was tired. So, so tired. I pushed myself away from the car to take the last few steps towards my goal. The door stood before me, big as always, but as my hand reached for the door bell I stopped.

_Was this okay?_

The little white button glared at me as I didn't press it. I could only stare at it as doubts began filling me out of nowhere.

_Was I being noisy? Would aunt Emily be okay with me just coming over like this? Was mum right? Was I really just being selfish?_

Self-conscious, I pulled my hand back. I shouldn't just come barging in without an invitation. I should've at least called first. I cursed at myself. What was I thinking? I had no right to just parade in like this without telling Sam or Emily first. I should have at least found a place to stay at and then come over. Should have, should have, should have… but didn't.

Before I fully pulled back, the door suddenly burst open and a tall man almost ran over me. He noticed me the last second and caught himself before colliding with me "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there."

I smiled politely at him and it took me a minute to recognized him. It was Seth! My mother's youngest cousin hadn't changed much over the years. He was still tall and muscular with an always friendly smile on his face. His hair was in the same style as it was years ago and even his face didn't looked much older. Same old Seth.

"Can I help you?" He asked kindly.

He didn't recognize me? I stared up at him in wonder. I hadn't changed that much, had I?

"Uh, yeah. Is Sam or Emily home?"

"Sure. Sam!" he yelled over his shoulder, the boom of his voice almost made me deaf "There's a little lady here who wants to see you."

I almost snorted. I was no way a little lady, I'm quite tall for a girl. Seth was the tree here.

"Nice dog," he nodded towards Sunny, who stood by my side. When did he get out of the car? I smiled down at him anyway and patted his head fondly.

Ignoring me, Sunny's ears suddenly went up as he listened to something going on inside the house. Without a second thought he padded right past me and Seth going inside as if he owned the place.

"Sunny!" I hissed after him appalled. Talk about manners.

"Sunny?" repeated my uncle's voice from somewhere in the house "What the… Claire?"

The door was pulled wide open, Seth almost fell over the threshold and Sam suddenly appeared looming over us with a frantic look on his face. Sunny was by his side wagging his tail and looking up at him with that doggy admiration.

I lifted my hand in a small wave "Hey, uncle Sam."

After that, things happened too fast for me to remember them all. I know Sam grabbed me by the shoulders and began to shake me while yelling something. I don't know if the shouting was meant for me or the gaping Seth behind him, but then Seth ran off. There was a crash behind Sam and when he turned I saw Emily staring at me wide-eyed, she had dropped a plate in the process. Emily began crying, Sam shouted some more and I looked confused, and then...

I have never passed out in my life before, but let me tell you it's one hell of an experience. Everything around me was happening too fast. People moving, talking… I think someone else made an appearance, but I wasn't sure, my head couldn't keep up with it all. White spots began dancing before my eyes and while I tried to focus on my surroundings, I could only feel my energy slowly ebb away. Subconsciously I knew what was happening, I was very aware of myself actually, but while I tried fighting it off, it was useless. Slowly, slowly I lost my self in the confusion. Thank God uncle Sam was holding me.

**xxx**

Waking up was like falling. I believe you all know the feeling, when you doze off for a second and then dream of falling. You suddenly wake up feeling disoriented and like you've slept for hours. I sat up suddenly gasping for air, and since I didn't recognize the room I was in at first, my confusion only grew worse.

"Woah, steady there," two warm hands held me still from falling off whatever couch or bed I was on. I buried my face in my hands trying to fight away my confusion and dizziness. Where was I again?

I heard the sound of rain hitting the window and looked up again. La Push. This time the room was familiar. Walls painted orange, an old dog much like Sunny sleeping on a beige carpet, the smell of cookies in the air and the feel of the old bumpy couch under me.

Collin was sitting on a chair he had pulled next to the couch I was on. He was grinning slightly while offering me a glass of water "Glad to have you back, kiddo. I never knew you for drama."

Silently I took the glass from his hand and took a few sips. Instantly I felt better. Collin pulled a comforter over me, which must have fallen off at my sudden movement "Wait here, don't go running off or fainting again till I get back, 'kay?"

He didn't wait for my reply, but headed off toward the direction I recognized as the kitchen. Not a minute later a very worried Emily appeared followed closely by Sam.

Emily took the chair Collin had previously occupied, while Sam sat down at the foot of the couch. He didn't look at me.

"Claire you… What… Are you okay?" Emily was wriggling the cloth she was holding while staring at me like a frightened doe.

I put my hand over her nervous ones with a reassuring smile and she instantly stopped the wriggling "I've never felt better." And that was the truth.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I continued earnestly "I was just very tired and everything started happening so fast that I couldn't-"

"You were alone out there!" Sam growled so suddenly I jumped slightly. He finally looked at me and his expression could only be described as angry.

"I… uh, well, yes," what should I say anyway? What was he so mad about? People go around alone all the time.

My answer didn't do Sam much good. It did right the opposite, he seemed to get even angrier "You _**drove **_all the way from Chicago _**alone **_with your phone shut off without telling anyone where you were, where you were staying, nothing! Do you realize the danger out there waiting for someone like you, alone, to take advantage of?"

"Sam-" my aunt tried calming him down.

"No, Emily, she needs to understand," Sam cut her off, almost glaring at me "The stupid thing she did."

Since one of my hands was still over Emily's, the other clutched the glass I was holding. What I did can be called many things, but it certainly wasn't stupid.

I couldn't build up the courage to glare at him, I couldn't even look at him in the first place. I could only stare at the glass I was still clutching and speak weakly "Uncle Sam, do you have anything that you cherish more than anything else on this world? Do you have something for which you would walk to hell and back again?"

A strange emotion I can't define, coloured Sam's voice when he answered "Yes."

"Then you understand," I finally looked at him without further explanation.

"You still have no idea…" he trailed off. He stared at me for a few more seconds, then his expression turned soft. He moved closer to me and hugged me close "But I'm so glad to see you."

I returned the hug, smiling into his shoulder, feeling ridiculously happy in his ridiculously strong hug. This was soooo uncle Sam.

When he let go it was Emily's turn. She didn't say much, but with still teary eyes, she enveloped me in her familiar gentle hug. She smelled of cookies and something floral, her hair was like silk against my cheek and her voice soft to my ear "Welcome home, Claire. Welcome home."

Still tired, I rested against her, relaxing instantly and closing my eyes. The familiar sights, smells and sounds were overwhelming.

_This is my home._

**xxx**

"Uncle Sam was really mad back then," I said a while later.

Aunt Emily and I were soon left alone after out little reunion. I think Sam got scared of all the tears and took a hike. Can't blame him, normally I too stay away from overly emotional females. There are no right words to calm one down.

"He wasn't mad, he was just scared," replied Emily as she spread a fresh white bed cloth over the couch, my soon to be bed for the night "Sam looking mad or angry only means he's scared of something. When he's really angry he gets very, very still. Beware of that."

I finished putting a pillow in a pillow case and set it on the blanket Emily readied for me "What was he so scared about then?"

My aunt looked up at me with a funny expression "You of course."

I stared at her dumbly. _Me?_ Why would he worry about me? "I don't understand, why would-?"

"We knew you were coming," she began answering before I even finished my question "Seth's wife works at the school you sent your transfer application to, and not to mention Suzanne has been calling me every day checking if maybe you've decided to come here."

I sat down on my freshly made bed and looked up at my aunt "So what's the big deal, if you knew I was coming anyway?"

"Claire," Emily sighed and sat down next to me "Suzanne called me on Friday to tell me she hasn't seen you since Wednesday. We found out about the transfer on Friday, so we thought you took the first plane and would be here _at least _by Saturday. It's Monday today, and from Wednesday that makes it five days. And not a word from you..."

I only now noticed the tired look in her eyes and then it hit me "You didn't know I was taking the car."

Even though it wasn't a question she answered "No."

"Mum, didn't noticed my car missing? I never use it, how could she not notice when it wasn't there?"

Emily only shook her head "I think she never came up with the idea that you would use the car since you never drove it. Since she didn't mention this we were sure you would be coming on a plane. We checked all the flights coming in from your direction, someone would always standby at the airport and wait for you, but you never came."

Oh, god... they must have thought of the worst. They were waiting for me at the airport and I never showed up. They must have thought I was running away in the other direction or even worse... I don't even want to know what the worse was.

"Aunt Emily, I'm so sorry," I felt awful. Beyond awful. I was disgusted with myself. Here I was hoping to make a simple little reunion, but only managed to worry everyone out of their minds. Just by looking at the shadows under Emily's eyes was enough to make me sick to my stomach from the guilt.

"That's not half so bad," she reassured me, but it did no good to my guilt. "What worried us most was that you were coming alone and this place is not the safest place for a loner at the moment."

For a moment or two my brain couldn't process that sentence. La Push not safe? I found this ridiculously- ridiculous. The only thing that could endanger your life here is Embry or the rainfall. Embry might set your house on fire while experimenting with fireworks and with the constant rain you never know when you might fall in a puddle and drown. Miraculously.

But aunt Emily was serious. Her eyes were cautious and her lips set in a grim line, her whole face was warning me to be careful.

Careful with what? I keep up with the news and there is nothing remotely dangerous happening around this place. I read about some hikers going missing, but that happens every now and then around the mountains like ours. Some people aren't prepared for a hike, some stumble across bears or other wild animals and some simply have an accident. And that's about all that goes around here.

"I understand," but I didn't "I'll be more careful from now on. I'm really sorry I made everyone so worried."

Emily sighed, almost relieved "As long as you're with us you don't have to worry about these things. Just don't wander around alone," She then smiled and brushed my short hair lovingly "Every time I see you it seems your hair is shorter. Why do you keep cutting it?"

Emily's words unsettled me, so I was glad for the change of topic "No idea," I reached up to my short black locks and messed them around "I just tried a new look."

I smiled fondly at the memory of when I cut my near waist long hair to chin length and almost gave my mom a heart attack. Since then I've only been cutting it shorter. Now the front strands don't even reach my eyes and I marvelled at the freedom from rubber bands and hair clips.

"It suits you. You look older," Emily complimented me and stood up, ready to leave.

I smiled at the praise while spreading my blanket to worm under it "How's everyone else? I saw Seth and Collin, but didn't really have the time to greet them properly. Where're Mattis and Ally? When can I meet everyone?"

Emily smiled and tucked me in like a little child "Ally is staying at a friend's house for a sleep over and Mattis will be home late. He's out with Jacob at the moment. Everyone else is doing just fine now that they know you're here. I'll call anyone you want over tomorrow, but you need your rest now."

I let her pamper me. She also gave me small good night kiss with a whisper "Happy belated Birthday."

I cuddled deeper into my warm cocoon in bliss. I reached a hand out to make sure Sunny was by my side for the night and then sighed in contentment. No bed had ever felt so great as this lumpy old couch did at the moment.

Emily turned off the lights for me, and just before she closed the door, a thought occurred to me "Aunt Emily?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Will Quil be here tomorrow?"

Emily paused a second or two before answering "I'm sure he'll make it. He's missed you a lot."

"I missed him too," I spoke softly and closed my eyes. I don't think Emily heard me, she just wished me another 'Good night' and closed the door behind her.

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...er? Was this any good? Let me know :)

Till next time,

UW


	7. Chapter 6

I want to hug you all for the wonderful reviews. They really inspire me, so please don't be shy and drop a word or two :)

Double thanks goes to my beta again who puts up with this madness aka my writing. Sorry for all the mess I always make.

Another chapter done, I hope you guys will enjoy.

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**Chapter 6**

When I first opened my eyes the next morning, I wondered where I was and how much further it was to La Push. But as I stared out the window, outside of which I could see the tip of the trees and the gray sky beyond them, I realized I didn't have to run anymore.

I sat up quickly with a stupid smile on my face. Pulling the blanket around my shoulders to keep me warm, I just sat there looking out the window.

This was it!

I stretched, marvelling at how well rested I felt and then cuddled back in my blanket. When was the last time I slept so well?

Looking around the room I found a digital clock on a DVD player under the TV set. 12:34 it showed. My eyes widened as I stared at it.

I slept past _noon_?

I have never slept for so long no matter how tired I was. I'm a morning person and the longest I stayed in bed was 9 o'clock for crying out loud!

In my haste to get off the couch I bumped into the coffee table. Four times. I had a slight misunderstanding with the comfortable and soft blanket that wouldn't let me go.

After my struggle I stood there still and silent. I was trying to listen if there was anyone near.

...

Nothing. The house was silent.

I looked at the clock again. It was now 12:39. The twins were probably at school, Uncle Sam at the Main house, but Emily usually stuck around.

I peeked in the hallway, but even then I couldn't pick up any noise. The upstairs looked deserted too, so I set towards the kitchen where Aunt Emily was more likely to be.

But the kitchen was empty too. There were two big pots on the stove, there were also some vegetables set on the counter, ready to be used and the dinning table was set with plates and tableware.

She must be close so I called "Aunt Emily?"

"Outside!" came a reply.

The kitchen door, which lead outside to the back of the house was slightly ajar. Emily was out on the porch hanging the laundry with Sunny and Bonbon laying lazily by her side.

"Morning, honey," she smiled at me "Or should I say noon?"

I smiled sheepishly "I guess you could say that. I have never slept in so late."

Still smiling, Emily continued her work "It just shows how really tired you were. No one will mind if you sleep as long as you want."

I nodded, but then feeling awkward just standing there, I asked "Do you need a hand with that?"

Emily shook her head "I'm just about done." She looked at the sky then and noted the low clouds "I just hope the weather will hold til this gets dried."

She hung the last piece of clothing before picking up the big, now empty, laundry basket. I held the door open for her as she walked past me. Sunny and Bonbon followed her, but Sunny stopped by my side to greet me. He nuzzled my palm, and smiling down at him, I patted him in hello.

Emily carried the basket back to the bathroom, while I greeted Bonbon.

"Hey girl, it's been too long," I scratched her behind the ears. Bonbon was a little smaller than Sunny, she was greyer and she didn't wag her tail as fast as he did nor did she move around as fast.

I bent down next to her, kissing her ear and then leaning my head on hers. She was so old it almost made me cry. When I was pulling away she licked my cheek and that made me smile again.

She was a Christmas present for Ally and Mattis when they were 5. She was a gift from Sam's cousin who lived in Canada and bred Huskies. I was 9 then and being a devoted animal lover that I still am, I always played with her most. She was also very patient with the twins who liked to pull her around that time. With Sam's help we taught her a few tricks and later when I got Sunny I took it upon myself to teach him the same stuff.

I glared at Sunny then. He was a stubborn dog when it came to teaching him something. My dog tilted his head at me innocently. Oh, he knew...

"Bonbon missed you too," said Emily who had returned "That old blanket that you gave her when you left is still in her basket by the fireplace. If I moved the basket, but not the blanket she wouldn't sleep in it. If I moved the blanket, on the other hand, but not the basket she would lay where ever I would put it."

"Silly girl," I patted Bonbon again.

"Did you sleep well?" asked Emily. She was stirring one of the pots on the stove, then she took a taste of whatever was in there with a wooden spoon and nodded in approval.

"Yes," I answered earnestly "I can't remember the last time I slept so well."

Emily smiled "I'm glad. The trip really must have worn you out, you can take another nap after we eat if you want."

"I'll be fine," I replied. Naps weren't my thing, I would probably just fall in a deep sleep and woke up the next morning. That was not an option.

"Do you want breakfast?" Emily motioned to the stove "This will be ready in half an hour or so, but if you're hungry I can make you a quick breakfast."

"Oh, no. You don't have to make me anything." I was famished actually, but I didn't want Emily doing anything more than necessary. My stomach will have to wait. "Do you want some help with that?"

My Aunt nodded "You can give me a hand, but I think it's better if you get dressed first."

I looked down at myself. I was still posing around in a pair of old sweat pants and a tee. I wasn't even wearing any socks. I brushed my hair trying to make it a little more flat, but judging by the amused smile on Emily's face, that wasn't really working. Right, I should make myself presentable for the general public.

I grabbed some clean clothes from the green duffle bag I dragged in last night and took a quick trip to the bathroom. When I was back in the living room I also tried tidying up the couch, but except for folding the blankets there was nothing much I could do.

"Slice these tomatoes," said Aunt Emily a few minutes later, when I was back in the kitchen. I was presented with a sharp knife, a little board to chop on, and a BIG bowl of tomatoes ready to feed an army.

I stood there staring at these items before me and not really knowing what to do. Maybe this would be a good time to I mention that I can't cook or prepare any type of food except heating it up in a microwave. And Aunt Emily didn't have a microwave.

I offered to help because I was trying to be polite. I expected Emily would want some help with the dishes or getting her food from the storage... but not actual help with the food!

I grabbed a tomato about the size of my fist and put it on the board eager to try at least. Slicing didn't sound so hard.

"They aren't washed yet, Claire." Emily spoke without even looking in my direction. I looked back down at the tomato. So you are supposed to wash these?

Fascinating.

I turned towards the sink with my tomato ready. Emily moved a little to give me space, and happy with learning something new, I turned on the water.

A good wash is what I gave that little vegetable. I scrubbed it clean till it was shining in its all red veggie glory. I noticed Emily giving me a side glance, but I ignored it, and put the now clean tomato back on the board.

I almost cackled when I picked up the knife again. I imagined all the funny shapes I could form. But my amusement was short-lived when instead of slicing the tomato, the knife merely squeezed it till it looked ruined. I blinked in wonder.

Was that supposed to happen?

I heard Emily chuckle and looked up. She was leaning slightly on the counter watching me with amusement her eyes twinkling with mirth "What are you doing?"

I looked down at my poor tomato and then at her again "Slicing?"

"I can see you're trying," Emily probed the tomato and then shook her head still amused "But that won't work if you washed it in hot water."

"But," I looked down at it again, completely lost "You said to wash it."

Emily laughed then "Yes, but rinsing it with cool water would be enough. You really gave this one a hard wash."

Now I felt stupid. I felt ignorant. I felt ignorant _and_ stupid. I couldn't even chop one little tomato?

Seeing the look on my face, Emily's amusement vanished. She grabbed hold of another tomato, rinsed it and then chopped it into a neat pile in less than a minute. She offered me the knife again "There's nothing wrong with asking me for help or to show you how to do it. Try it yourself now."

Encouraged by her little push, I copied her actions. I was nowhere as fast as she was, nor was my little pile as neat, but I did it never the less.

After seeing my progress, Emily went back to the stove "You should see Mattis try to do those. He always makes the slices too big, not to mention he always somehow manages to cut himself."

I eased up by her casual conversation. I even smiled when I pictured little Mattis cutting the big slices. I picked up another tomato and continued the slow work.

I was content.

**xxx**

"Claire!" Alison jumped me the second she got home. Uncle Sam had barely opened the door when she flew right past him and launched herself around my neck.

I staggered, but didn't fall by her impact. Overjoyed, I laughed with her and returned the tight hug. I haven't seen Alison in ages! She and Mattis were never taken along to visit me with Sam and Emily.

Back then when we were little, Ally and I were really close. She liked to follow me around whenever she got the chance since I was the cool older kid. I was happy to have her around and I liked teaching her simple things the way I always wanted Sarah to teach me. I taught her how to swing, how to tie her shoelaces and I always lent her stuff like crayons and toys. Ally was like a little sister to me.

"Dad said you'll be staying with us for some time. Will you sleep in my room?" Alison tugged on my hand and dragged me down the hallway towards the kitchen where Sam was heading to.

I laughed at her enthusiasm "It's good to see you too. And I wouldn't mind a sleepover either."

"I was at a friend's place last night, if I knew you were coming I would have stayed home for sure. We could have had a sleepover yesterday," Ally babbled on happily, exactly like I remembered her.

"Oh gosh, painting each other's toenails and doing your hair, and you two are letting me out? I'm going to miss all the fun, fun, fun."

I swirled around at the masculine voice and came face to chest with someone tall. I didn't recognize his voice, but I did recognize his face.

"M-Mattis?"

"Yo," the big bulk answered and grinned down at me "Nice to see you again, little cousin."

For the first time in my life I was left speechless. Mattis was BIG. Heck, he was bigger than big, he was HUGE. He loomed over me the way Uncle Sam did, or the way Quil used to or any other friend or family I was used to here in La Push.

Considering that Sam was really big, this shouldn't surprise me. La Push men seemed to have something in them to grow freakishly tall, but Mattis...

Mattis was always a small boy. Even though he and Ally were twins, he used to be smaller than her, and I used to tower over both of them. I reached up till my hand was level with the top of his head and then lowered it till it was even with me. And now, he was a whole head higher than me? What happened to the plum short stuff I used hustle around with?

"You grew from a little whelp into a gorilla!" I exclaimed.

"Nah, you just stayed small," he still grinned and gave me a one-armed hug.

"Come now, while the food is still hot," called Emily. Mattis instantly let go of me when he heard his mother say 'food'. He ran for the kitchen while Ally and I slowly followed him, not in a hurry at all.

I was seated between Sam and Ally at the table. Ally kept chatting most of the time and I could only smile and nod at all the things that happened in La Push while I was gone. Sam, I noticed, didn't appear to be in high spirits. He seemed to brood over something and kept looking up at an oblivious Mattis, who did nothing but stare at Emily's pots and pans with longing. Emily, who also noticing her husband's mood, leaned closer to him and whispered something into his ear. Whatever it was, it washed the dark look off Sam's face and replaced it with a gentle smile.

Emily set the food on the table and urged Ally and me to take our fill. She and Sam were next, while Mattis was left last to take his portion. I soon understood why. While Uncle Sam had a big appetite, he was at least controlled – Mattis, on the other hand, wasn't.

I openly stared at my cousin as he shoved food into his mouth with such speed that I wondered how it was humanly possible to chew and swallow so quickly.

Ally nudged me under the table "Ignore him, he became a pig."

Even though Mattis heard her he just snorted but didn't stop to remark back. He was too busy trying to swallow up his whole plate of mashed potatoes in 3.5 seconds. I was famished, really I was. But seeing Matti eat like that kept me from focusing on my own plate.

"Is there anyone you want to see today, Claire?" asked Emily, which luckily brought a stop to my staring "Jacob is coming over in the evening and he can round up anyone you want if you wish."

"Quil," I said without thinking.

Well, that went name popped out of my mouth easy, like a blink of an eye. Smooth Claire, really smooth. Demand someone who by now probably lives on the other side of the rez with a wife and three children, but still keeps sending you birthday cards for old times sake. "I - Uh, I'm okay with anyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be today, so um- whatever you guys plan is fine."

"Everyone is excited you know," began Emily "Seth kept asking after you after yesterday, so did Collin. You know Leah would like to see you the first chance she gets, you were always her favorite. Embry called 17 times in the middle of the night asking if it really was too late for a visit – Sam unplugged the phone after that. Jared and Kim want you over to meet Ben and Caroline. I'm sure you remember Ben, he's 10 now and Caroline will be turning 6 this summer. What do you think?"

And what did I think? I wondered why she didn't mention Quil.

"As long as it's not inconvenient for any of you," I poked the steak on my plate "I shouldn't have just dropped on you like this in the first place, and with all the trouble I've put you trough-"

"Nonsense," Emily didn't let me finish "You have no idea how happy we are that you're finally back. And it's really no trouble that you're here, Claire. You don't have to worry about anything and you don't need to be so insecure."

I ducked my head and nodded. It felt strange, my chest felt strange. I can't possibly describe the feeling that followed after Emily's words. My chest tightened and then loosened. I suddenly felt very light. It's like I carried a heavy burden and got so used to the weight that it felt strange when the weight wasn't there anymore.

"It'll be great to have you here!" exclaimed Alison "There's so much catching up to do and you have to tell me what Chicago is like!"

Ally was tugging on my arm again, our food forgotten. She talked so fast that her words were almost a blur, her eyes were wide and there was adoration written all over her face. She was practically jumping out of her seat from excitement. This 14 year old Alison was almost the same as the 8 year old clingy girl who liked to hang on my arm and talk all the time. I wanted to poke her just to see if she'd burst like a bubble and be replaced with her 8 year old self again.

"Sure, I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Why don't we have a barbecue?" asked Sam suddenly, looking from me to Emily "This Friday here at our house or we could go to First Beach. I'm sure everyone would come, and the kids would love it."

Emily smiled at the idea "Of course, a welcome party for Claire is a great idea." Ally squealed, instantly liking the thought of a party, while Mattis grumbled "As long as there'll be food."

And so the planning began.

**xxx**

"Did you get the bike?"

"_Yeah, I left it where you wanted it with the note. Are you sure you want to give it away?"_

I sighed almost sad "I'm too big for it. Besides that Jimmy-kid wanted a blue one anyway."

"_You don't like kids,"_ pointed out Ray_ "Why give this one your old bike?"_

"It's not that I don't like them, I just don't find anything interesting about them. Plus," I pointed out "Jimmy's a good kid. He always played with Sunny when I didn't have the time."

"_You mean,"_ drawled Ray _"He or his family never complained when Sunny got under the fence on their side of the yard."_

"That too," I grinned.

I was sitting on the wooden bench outside, the same one that was positioned under the old pine tree, so the slight drizzle didn't get me. I borrowed Emily's phone to call Ray since mine went dead after the battery went out. I forgot the charger back in Chicago so that was another reason that I was calling Ray for.

"_Okay, so the bike is taken care of."_

My little blue bike with stickers that I loved with a passion had to stay behind. Instead of letting it rust in the basement or my dad getting his hands on it, I cleaned it and decided to give it to the neighbour's kid. That way my little memory can live on.

"Thanks so much for that, Ray," I said earnestly.

"_No prob. Now, where's the charger?"_

"My room, plug right next to the table. The backdoor key is on the little shelf above the threshold," I directed him. I lay down on the bench so that my head was positioned over the edge and I saw the world upside down.

"_I know, I know,"_ said Ray. I heard him open the fence door and slip into our backyard _"Are you sure no one's home?"_

"Yeah, mum and dad wouldn't afford taking too many days off, even if I'm missing. They're both still at work," I closed my eyes enjoying the head rush my position caused me.

Ray still hesitated "_What about the police? You know this can be considered as breaking and entering."_

"Not with my permission," I stated and lifted my head to get my blood flowing in the right direction again "And there should be no cops, Mum wouldn't tolerate anyone in her house that she doesn't know."

"_Or like. That sounds familiar."_ I smiled at Ray's sarcasm.

"Either way, the house should be empty."

"_Should,"_ I heard him state, as he turned the key and opened the door. He also closed the door, but very softly as if someone would still jump out of the shadows.

"_This place looks even colder when you're not around," _shuddered Ray _"No wonder you called it then Ice Cave."_

"It grows on you after a while," I tilted my head back down again. This probably wasn't healthy, but I liked the funky feeling of a head rush.

"_I'm going up the stairs,"_ whispered Ray.

"Watch out for the monsters we keep under the carpet, they can smell your fear."

"_Not funny. Besides it's really dark in here."_

"You know, a long time ago this guy invented an electric bulb. A marvellous invention that can brighten a home at night, and guess what; we have those too."

I can imagine Ray rolling his eyes by now _"I'm not turning on any lights. Someone might see from the street."_

"Yes," I replied sarcastically "Because then it doesn't look like breaking and entering at all." Ray grumbled something and then there was a familiar 'click' "Don't worry, I'm sure my mother won't charge you for that."

"_I really doubt that."_

We stayed on the line because I guess it made Ray feel better not to be completely 'alone' in my house. He never liked that place so it was the least that I could do.

"_Okay, I have it. Anything else while I'm here?"_

I pondered for a moment "I don't know, I hadn't unpacked any of my stuff yet, but I don't think that I left anything vital behind."

"_Then I'm out of here,"_ sighed Ray in relief, as I heard him dash out of my room and down the stairs.

"Turn off the lights, lock the door," I reminded him tilting my head up and down again with my eyes still closed.

"_Done and done,"_ laughed my friend over the line, he was probably all giddy to be out in the open again _"I have your Aunt's address, I'll send it tomorrow after school."_

"Thanks again, Ray," I smiled and opened my eyes.

"_Anytime, call me tomorrow. Adios."_

The phone slipped from my hand to the ground as I looked at the world upside down - and the person standing not far away watching me.

I sat up so fast that I almost fell back again. This caused by a not-so-funky head rush.

Even as my vision was blurred and everything swirled around me, _he_ was focused.

He was standing right there, just a few feet away. Tall and still as I remembered him, he was waiting for me to notice him.

Quil.

I grinned and he reached a hand towards me.

I ran and he took a step closer.

I slammed into him with full force and he grabbed me around my waist.

I locked my hands around his neck and he twirled us around.

I laughed with joy and he kept repeating my name.

"Claire."

I couldn't stop laughing "Quil."

Or crying.

* * *

This chapter was almost Quil-less again. Almost. But then I thought that I would probably get murdered by one of you and didn't dare leave you guys stranded again. Pathetic, I know.

Was it any good? Tell me what you guys think, complains, questions, ideas; everything is welcome.

Luna- yep, she still doesn't know. About the action; keep in mind there's still a coven of vampires around like I mentioned in the prevous chapter. The fun hasn't even started yet :D


	8. Chapter 7

Here you go my luvs,

Presenting:

* * *

**Chapter 7**

I never liked calling Chicago home. I never liked big cities. I hate crowded streets, loud people, high buildings and places where everything is scheduled. I missed the way simple things can make you happy or how people were never strangers. Home is the place where you feel happy and secure, home is the place where you're comfortable and the people around you are like a second skin. Chicago wasn't like that. I dubbed it the place where I had to live for the time being. Sort of like a hotel if you know what I mean. When we first moved there I swore to myself that no matter how many years it took, no matter what people I would be with I would always return to La Push. It's like a pull in the back of my head. Birds fly south for the winter, I go to La Push.

But now as I was hugging Quil and his familiar warm hands encircled me, I realized I couldn't care less if I was in Chicago or La Push. As long as he was near I could be standing on the other side of the planet and would be damn happy about it.

He set me back on my feet, but didn't let go so we just stood there hugging each other. "I was so worried," he whispered against my ear.

I dabbed my teary eyes and smiled against his shoulder "I missed you."

He finally pulled back and gave me a good looking over. His hands touched my short hair, my face, my neck and then settled on my shoulders. He took in my new appearance with a strange sad look in his eyes that I couldn't place. Finally he managed a small smile and said "You've grown."

I grabbed the hem of his dirty shirt and gave it a pointed look "And you haven't changed at all."

Quil's grey shirt was dirty and ragged as if he hadn't changed it in days. His torn sweat pants and worn out sneakers seemed to be in a similar state. There was a long smudge of dirt right under right eye and his hair lost its gloss.

What happened to him?

Overall, despite his ran-over look, his was still the same. He was still tall, still warm and he still smiled at me. He shook his head at my statement and took a step closer to me. We didn't hug again he just leaned his head in till it was resting on mine "I'm sorry."

I kept clenching his shirt with both of my hands "So am I."

I was sorry for all the lost years. I was sorry for all the lost moments. I was sorry for all the pain, and I was sorry for all the waiting. "I'm sorry I'm late."

-- -- --

Embry (who else), was the reason why we later had to pull apart. As soon as he parked his car (across the whole yard) he came running at us (screaming "My baby!" at the top of his lungs) until he crashed into me in what I call a special Embry-hug. He knocked the wind right out of me.

"Would you look at you! Kids grow up so fast these days," he fussed like a proud mother "Why I can remember like it was yesterday when little Claire was still in diapers and drooled like-"

"Good to see you too, Em!" I exclaimed before he could continue. I should have known he would be full of baby stories for the next 10 years of my life.

I wormed out of his hold and gave him a punch in his stone-like shoulder "Still a sap, I see."

He tousled my hair "And you're still a shrimp. Didn't you always say that you would grow up really tall one day?"

I battled his hand away "I'm 5'11'' and that's considered tall the last time I checked. It's not my problem you're a tree."

"My, my, you haven't lost any of your spirit."

"It's the air around here," I replied and motioned my hands around as if that explained everything.

Embry then looked at Quil and back at me again. His smile softened "I'm really glad you're here, Claire. You had us worried."

I shoved my fists in my pockets and returned the smile "It's good to be back. You have no idea how much I missed this wet place."

"We missed your baby face too, baby Claire," Embry reached his hand towards me probably to mess up my hair again so I ducked around him to stand by Quil's side.

"Don't call me that!" I growled at a laughing Embry. I always hated that nickname.

Embry shrugged his shoulder then. He turned to leave towards the house, but not before giving us one last glance with a wink and a small wave "Don't stay out too late, kids."

I huffed and puffed for a second before glancing back at Quil. He was looking at the direction Embry just left with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. I tugged at his shirt. Quil looked down at me and his expression cleared into another smile "That's Embry's annoying way to tell you that he missed you too."

"I know," I chuckled. I grabbed his hand then and started pulling him towards the wooden bench where I was sitting before "Come on we have so much catching up to do! How've you been? What have you been doing for the past few years? How's Jake? And the Garage?"

I can't remember the last time I talked so much or the last time I asked so many questions. Bah, I can't even remember the last time I was so interested in what a person was doing while I was gone. Quil answered with short replies so I didn't get much of his story. He asked me similar questions back and I realized I had no better answers myself. What have we been doing for the past 6 years? I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted him to know as much as he could, but I had nothing much to tell. We ended up talking about other people. He told me how everyone was doing around here, he told me about their growing families and about people I have yet to meet. I, on the other hand, told him some little stories about Sunny, some fun times I had with Ray, but there was nothing much to share about my own family. He asked how Sarah was doing, but I could only shrug.

I looked up at the branches of the old pine tree and sighed "So Seth and Camille are already married? I remember aunt Emily telling me they were engaged two years ago. How was the wedding?"

Quil shook his head "I didn't go to it."

We were sitting side by side, both looking up at the slowly swaying branches and the grey sky beyond. How many times did we use to sit just like this in the past?

"Weren't you invited? You guys stick together like glue. I thought getting drunk and crashing each other's weddings was a pact you made from the very beginning."

From the corner of my eye I saw a ghost like smile creep onto Quil's face "Not all weddings ended up like Sam and Emily's."

"I remember a slightly different scenario when Jared and Kim got married."

"That," Quil's smile grew wider "Was Embry's fault. He was still under the influence of the bachelor's party from the night before."

I stopped my staring at the sky and turned towards Quil. I pulled my knees up to sit cross-legged, propping my elbows on them and then tilted my head to the side giving him a curious glance "So why didn't you go to Seth's wedding?"

The smile disappeared from Quil's face. He sighed, leaning forward, looking somewhere ahead of him "I didn't feel like going."

I poked his shoulder, curious. I wanted to ask him 'why not', but I didn't want to sound too pushy so I just stared at him curiously.

When Quil looked at me again and noticed my look he answered anyway "Somehow I couldn't stand it. I wasn't in one of my best moods back then so instead of ruining every one's fun I didn't attend it."

Why couldn't he stand one of his friend's wedding?

I scooted closer and gave him a hard stare. Quil backed away uncomfortably "What?"

"You regret it," it wasn't a question.

"I didn't back then," he turned back to staring into space "I don't know how I am right now, but I know I will in the future."

Right, I didn't have to rub it in his face. I felt bad about even bringing up the topic in the first place.

I tugged at his sleeve again "I'm sure there'll be more weddings to corrupt and get drunk at in the future." A hint of a smile tugged on the corner of his lips again. Success! "Now I want some gossip. What did I heard about some guy Aunt Leah has? He's from Romania or something?"

"Well what did you hear? What do you want to know?"

"Ally just mentioned some small stuff. Only that Leah is seeing some guy and that he's Romanian," I cackled then "I want to know everything!"

"Would you look at you," grinned Quil "Since when are you into gossip?"

"Since I missed out a big part of the story in La Push for the last 6 years. Now spit," I poked his shoulder again.

"Don't expect too much from me, Leah is very private about these things," he warned me "His name is Tihomir. They met each other about a year ago when she went on something like a road trip through Europe."

"Leah went to Europe?!" I exclaimed. I never paged her as the type to travel to Europe or such. Leah is more of a jungle type, something wild, adventurous and unpredictable... something like the Amazon rain forest.

"Yeah, but probably not as you would imagine it. She was curious about something so she took a little trip."

"A little trip to Romania? That's some curiosity."

"That's Leah," said Quil as if that explained it all. Somehow it did. "She was actually returning back empty handed, when she stumbled across him by chance. No one knows the whole story but those two so that's all I can give you."

"What was she looking for in the first place?"

Quil took a moment or two before answering. It looked like he wouldn't at all at first "She was checking out some rumours... or more like myths."

"Don't tell me she was hunting down Dracula," I snickered.

Quil's reaction was so fast and sudden I almost fell from where I was sitting. He turned sharply and gave me a rigid look "Don't make jokes about... Don't talk about things... Don't..."

I blinked. He stumbled over his words and didn't seem to know how to form them correctly. Seeing the lost look on my face made him give up "You shouldn't joke like that."

I blinked again. What part of the joke was wrong?

"Come on," Quil stood up not explaining any further about what just happened "We should go in. Leah and Tihomir will drop by sooner or later. You'll get to meet the guy soon."

"Wait," I said suddenly "He came back with her?"

"I doubt Leah could maintain a long distance relationship and he was curious about this place, so yeah, he returned with her."

I hurried up so I was walking alongside him back towards the house "Is she happy?"

"Yes. More so than I have ever seen her."

We smiled at each other. There was something familiar about Leah's story.

-- -- --

"Embry, don't feed him scraps. You'll spoil him!"

I was only away for an hour or so and Embry was already spoiling my dog. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating some leftovers Emily especially left for them with Sunny sitting faithfully by his side. My corrupted dog was looking up at Embry with adoration and love... before I knew it another bone went flying and Sunny caught it in mid air.

"Embry!" I exclaimed again. I grabbed Sunny by his bandanna and tried pulling him away. The blasted dog didn't want to move.

"Relax," said Embry, before stuffing his face with more food "It's not like he'll die."

"No, but he'll start begging for more from other people. I'm very strict when it comes to Sunny's eating habits," I said firmly after finally pushing my damn mutt out of the kitchen and closing the door after him "You're not to feed him without my supervision."

"What? But Sam just gave him a whole plate of leftovers," Embry pointed to my uncle who was sitting on the other side of the table reading a newspaper. Really innocently I must say.

Sam put the newspaper down and rose an eyebrow at Embry in a very I-am-Sam-therefore-I-am-right way "Did not."

Embry's jaw went slack. I had the pleasure of seeing his chewed food at its best all the way down his throat. He spluttered some incoherent words, pointed at Sam, choked, looked at me and pointed some more at Sam. And choked again.

I shook my head at Embry "Whatever, just don't feed him from the table."

Embry spluttered some more. I ignored him by turning towards Sam "Is Aunt Emily around? I want to ask her something about Leah."

"She's on the phone. I think she's somewhere upstairs talking," answered Sam and went back to reading.

I made sure to give a sulking Embry a warning look before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. I passed Mattis and Ally's rooms and stopped before Sam and Emily's bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear Emily's voice coming from the room. I was about to knock when the angry tone of her voice stopped me.

"What do you mean just send her on the next plane back?! She just got here and she's tired! She needs-" Emily was suddenly cut off by whatever someone said on the other side of the line.

"No!" cried out Emily, even angrier than before "She needs rest before she goes anywhere again. She fainted at our doorstep yesterday, for crying out loud!"

I took a step back from the door. There's only one person Emily would talk to like that.

"At least you could ask how she's doing or if she made it here safe! Suzanne, since you called not once did you ask how-"

I didn't want to listen to this. I couldn't back up any more so I stood there frozen in place against the wall. The hallway was dark, but I liked it. It's easier to hide in the darkness. I bowed my head and closed my hands over my ears. No matter how much I pressed down on my ears and tried not to listen I could still hear Aunt Emily's argument with my mother.

"She drove here all by herself for three days! Do you have any idea what could have happened to her?! ...What do you mean by that?"

Emily paused and I turned my head away.

"You foul woman! And you call yourself a mother? Claire would never- Quil what are you doing?"

Quil?

I looked up. Quil was there with her?

"Yes, it's me," Quil's calmly spoke to my mother over the phone. A shiver went down my spine at how cold his voice felt. The room went silent while he listened to whatever my mother had to say to him. I slowly moved my hands away and leaned a little forward to listen better.

"I'm ready for that. For anything. She's old enough to make her own decisions and this time I won't give up without a fight. Good day."

There was a slight 'crack' when Quil shut down the phone and most likely broke the receiver. Sam won't like that.

After a moment of silence someone asked "Quil?" I immediately recognized the voice. It was Jacob's! When did he get here?

"I'm fine," but he didn't sound fine. Contrast to before his voice now sounded tired and small "She'll take it to court if Claire doesn't return by the end of the week and she'll sue for any fee she can get."

This is it. I haven't been here for 24 hours and I was already making so much trouble. I ignored all the warnings in my head and drove here as if I had nothing to lose. I didn't, but these people here had. Because of me Emily might get sued for something that was my fault. Because of me Quil might get in unnecessary trouble. All of this just because I ran away.

"It's like history is repeating its self from 6 years ago," sighed Emily "My sister still won't give Claire a choice in the matter, but this time she's taking it too far..."

I stopped listening then. I stepped away from the wall and as quietly as possible moved down the stairs. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but right now I was glad I did. This was my responsibility, these were my troubles, not theirs. Naively I thought that if I was far away enough these problems wouldn't reach me. Now I realized it backfired- I got other people involved.

Stupid.

I grabbed my still packed duffel bag from the living room and left the house. I whistled two times quickly, that was a call for Sunny so I didn't have to shout his name all over the place. He came running from around the house with Bonbon trailing behind.

"You'll have to stay here, girl," I said sadly to her after Sunny jumped in the back seat. I tossed my bag after him before closing the door "I'm sorry for the short visit, but I screwed this up. Badly. You'll take care of them, right?"

Bonbon let out a low whine and I smiled at her "Be good." I patted her head and got in the car. I set my car in reverse gear while already planning where I would stop and stay for the first night.

And then I almost drove over Jacob.

I hit the brakes so hard that Sunny almost went flying off his seat. The car stopped only a few inches away from Jake. I stared at him in my rearview mirror and he returned my gaze calmly by just standing there and not moving.

After a few moments I turned off the car. I climbed out and stood still by the door, but this time he moved to come closer. He didn't say anything. He just stood there before me with a small and understanding smile. I averted my eyes in shame. "This was a bad idea," I began explaining for no reason "I shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"Actually," he lifted his hand to brush his shaggy hair away from his eyes "This is one of the best things that could have happened. It shows that you're following your true feelings."

"No, it means I'm scared and just trying to find a place to hide myself like a coward. My mother will only bring you trouble because of me."

"Admitting that you're afraid is a true feeling too," Jacob still kept a slight reassuring smile "Your mother will have trouble because of us, not the other way around. Don't worry Claire, we can take care of it."

I finally looked up at him. Jake was the tallest man I have ever seen and even Ray's basketball teammates couldn't do him justice. Heck, coach Volkov would have to crane his neck to look Jake in the eyes. I blinked up at him and then slowly shook my head "It's not worth it."

"Hey, you'll not be the judge of that," Jake reached out for the back door and opened it in order to let Sunny out again "Let's go back and first talk things through so that we'll see what we can do. How does that sound?"

"If I say no and want to leave immediately you wouldn't let me, would you?"

"Nope," Jacob grinned "It's so damned nice to finally see you again. Don't spoil our fun by leaving so soon."

I managed a weak grin while Jake pushed me back towards the house. Was I strong enough for this?

-- -- --

"Where were you so long?" asked Emily the first thing as we entered. She ushered us back to the kitchen where Sam and Quil were already waiting. Embry and the younger Uley generation were nowhere in sight.

"Claire wanted me to look at something on her car," replied Jacob before I could even come up with a good excuse. Looks like nobody even noticed my little flee. I was grateful for that. I nodded silently at Emily and behind her Jacob winked at me in good humour. He was ready to keep this little secret just between the two of us.

"Well you'll have lots of time to dissect that car tomorrow or any day after that, right now we all need to sit down and talk."

Emily was very open with me when she went through her phone call with her sister. She didn't go into all the details about what my mother had to say about me, but she did give me enough hints that I had the general idea. I sat there listening quietly while the others just watched me as if waiting for some kind of a reaction.

I didn't know how to react now since I'd already done that and Jacob stopped me midway. What I merely did was ponder over why Quil and Jacob stayed behind if Embry had already left. I thought this was only between my aunt, uncle and me.

When the silence stretched Emily sighed since I had nothing to say. I pulled my feet up on the chair and rested my head between my knees. But really, what could I say? Should I apologise for my mother? Apologise for myself? Blame Jacob for not letting me go back? Ask them for help?

The chair next to me moved. I looked up to see Quil sitting down. Till now he had stood in the back of the kitchen very quiet and unnaturally still, now he was close and asking a question "Do you want to stay here?"

This wasn't a visit anymore and I obviously did want to stay, but the real question was _how much_ did I want it. I'm not a fighter. I never was one. I was never brave enough to stand up for myself or fight for what I believed in. I cope with what I have, I adapt to things easily and I never mind or complain about things that are out of my control. I always took the easy roads even if I didn't like them just so that I never had to stand in the way of others. But by doing this, by being here I was making one of the biggest turns from that road. And I was scared. This road was new and foreign, it was full of obstacles that I usually avoided but now I would have to face them. I really was naive to think that this would be easy.

Go forward or turn back?

Quil was actually giving me a choice. I could turn right here, right now and continue down the cowardly way like I almost did a few minutes ago, or set myself into full gear and speed down the unknown.

'_...following your true feelings...'_ Jacob had said earlier. And what did I feel right now?

Warmth.

Quil was sitting so close to me I could feel his warmth radiating on me. If I leaned a little to the left I could rest my head against his shoulder.

Secure.

He had a small smile on his face. I knew that no matter what choice I would make he would not be mad at me. Like that time when I messed up all his sketches, he would just smile and tousle my hair then help me to make it right again.

Yearning.

The grey sky and never the ending rain. Familiar faces and friendly smiles. Family, friends, protectors. Everything was so clear now and within my reach.

'_...following your true feelings...'_

"Yes," I smiled finally "I never want to leave again."

As if this was an ultimatum the whole room went alive again. Jacob whooped "Yay, we get to keep Claire!", Sam and Emily looked at each other knowingly and Quil...

Quil began shaking slightly. His expression was beyond words as he stared at me. He touched my cheek for only a moment before he suddenly got up and left through the back door.

Jacob hurried after him with a small wave in my direction. I didn't know what was going on, but I wasn't worried. Emily averted my attention back to her as she began explaining what was needed to be done in order to avoid any serious accusations by my mother.

"First, we'll have to find you a place to stay..."

And just like that I began moving towards the unknown.

* * *

Finally! These 7 chapters took long to put together. Now *cackles like a maniac* I can have some fun!

Soooooo... yup... hmmm... what do you think... review? Please?

Oh, and does anyone know how old Brady and Collin are? That would be nice to know...


	9. Chapter 8

I am so late with this ): I got stuck somewhere in the middle and well... I was stuck. Thankfully I have a fast beta- you're never too late girl! (:

Also I forgot to mention in my previous AN that all the chapters are now beta-ed. _Quil Explodes _did a great job on my first five chapters. They are now readable and more presentable for the general public. Go hug her and tell her how awesome she is. That's an order.

Now, presenting you:

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"Then you have to tuck it like this. Get it?"

"Yes, Quil."

"Make sure it's holding tight. Check so it won't slip."

"Yes, Quil."

"You have to make sure the chair comes under the knob. Don't forget that. Maybe you should write that down somewhere. Just to be sure."

I stared at the chair Quil had set against the door and, for what seemed the tenth time, wondered if this was really necessary. We were standing in the bathroom of his and Embry's rented house while he showed me how to ward the door against uninvited visitors.

"Uh, Quil, this really isn't ... necessary, is it? I mean knocking would work too."

Quil pulled the chair away again then pushed it towards me to repeat the exercise "Embry has never heard of knocking in his life. His mother tried really hard, but sadly... Embry usually just bangs in oblivious to whatever anyone is doing behind a closed door. That goes for the bathroom door too."

I positioned the chair the way Quil showed me. I took a step back to admire my work. It looked like it could hold one Embry back, but then again who knows. That guy could walk through a glass door and not notice when he breaks through "That's rather disturbing. Didn't you and Jake ever mind if he walked in on you?"

Quil sighed "We got used to it after a while. Besides there are no secrets between the three of us. Or it's hard to keep them anyway."

I looked up at Quil in wonder "I forgot how open you guys are with each other. I never noticed those things when I was little."

"Yeah well, you were so little back then you could hardly see anything above the table level," Quil teased.

"Not funny," I returned while nudging him between the ribs. I took a few steps back and sat down on the edge of the bathtub "This is still weird, you know."

"What is?" Quil looked back at me.

I nodded towards the chair "I feel like I'll be hiding something from you guys."

"Believe me it's better this way," Quil sat down next to me "Embry would never let you live it down otherwise." I snickered. Yes, that was something Embry would do. He would be full of smart ass remarks whenever I'd enter a room just to make me blush and get embarrassed.

Just then something banged against the door. The chair squeaked, but didn't let go and the door stayed closed.

"Erm, sorry?" Embry's voice called from the other side.I burst into a fit of laughter while Quil shook his head sadly.

"It's okay Em! You just provided us a test," I called back.

"Great. Can I come in now? I really need to peeeeee," he whined from the other side.

I got up to remove the chair. When I opened the door Embry was leaning against the door arch with his chest puffed out and a funny smile on his face "How you doin', gorgeous?"

"Girls must be falling at your feet with that sweet talk," I sidestepped so Embry could enter.

"You'd be surprised," remarked Quil.

"Sooo, this is our new place to hang out?" Embry looked around the small bathroom like a tourist visiting the National Museum of History "A little cramped but I like it. The curtains are nice too. Fascinating." There were no curtains actually, but the place was cramped. Quil and Embry took up most of the space which that left me nudged between my new chair and Quil.

"Normally I wouldn't mind an audience, but I doubt your young eyes could stand the show, Claire," Embry winked at me and positioned himself before the toilet-seat. I didn't hesitate. I jumped like a scared rabbit out of the room and shut the door after me leaving Quil behind. When I was finally in the kitchen I could still hear Embry's booming laughter.

Damn him, he always knows how to get me.

It was Wednesday today and my first day living with Quil and Embry. There was a lot of debate where I would be staying from now on. I obviously couldn't stay at Sam and Emily's since there already was no space for me plus my mother would use that to her advantage if she really wanted to sue them. It might look like I was being 'forced' to stay with them. No, staying here with these two goofs with a safe contract that said I was renting this place along with them was a safer solution. There weren't any more places to rent anyway. Since Jacob moved in with his girlfriend Renesme, who I have yet to meet, he had left a spare room so naturally I was instantly invited. And I liked it here too. This was a little one story house with three small separate bedrooms, a small bathroom and a mini kitchen connected with a living room. My room, small as it was, contained only a bed, a desk big enough to write on and a wardrobe. Quil promised to build me some shelves later for my books, but other than that it was perfect. It wasn't even half the size of what I was used to in Chicago, but I felt much better in it. Outside across the yard was where the garage stood. It was actually bigger than this house, but then again the guys spend way more time in there than here. Figures.

Quil came back from the bathroom with an irritated look on his face "Sorry about that."

I shook my head at him "No need to apologise. I should get used to that anyway."

Quil grumbled, still annoyed "You shouldn't have to get used to _that_. One of these days I'll knock some sense into him. If he ever bothers you too much you tell me and I'll have a word with him."

"With your fists?" I asked knowingly.

Quil grinned "I'm just itching for a right reason."

"You guys usually round each other on daily basis, do you really need an excuse?"

"No, but if he really does bother you I'll probably take it to a whole new level."

Probably yes. Maybe it's just me, but I think Quil has a saving thing for people. He always stood up for me when I was little and there's nothing I couldn't get as long as he could get it for me. God, he always spoiled me.

"So now that that is done do you want me to carry your stuff from the car?" he asked politely.

"No," I replied. Seeing the crest fallen look on his face I grinned "But you can help me."

If I left him carry everything I would sooner or later get used to using him. He might be happy with that, but I sure wasn't. Sometimes I wondered if he had limits at all.

_Say Quil, if I asked you for the stars, would you bring them to me?_

His face instantly brightened at my proposal. He opened the door for me on our way outside. I looked up at him with a small thanks and he just beamed at me. Simple like that.

_Probably not. But I know you would try with all your might._

**xxx**

"Say, what's this thing?" asked Embry as he observed a plastic basket.

"Sunny's bed," I answered before pulling it out of his hands and setting it by my new bed. I began picking put the books I stored there and threw them on the bed.

"That dog needs a bed? Talk about spoiled," snorted Embry. He moved out of the way when Quil came carrying in another box full of my clothes.

I then grabbed the big pillow which I had previously kept on the back seat and threw it in the basket "He's not spoiled, just loved. Spoiling is what you do when you feed him scraps."

"Hey, I only did that once," he exclaimed "Plus Sam-"

"Yeah, yeah," I cut him off "Blame it on my uncle now too."

"But, but..." Embry looked defeated. He really was taking this whole issue to heart.

"Forgiven and forgotten, Em. Let's never mention it again," I took the box from Quil and opened to make sure all my stuff was there. Embry looked like he was about to sulk again, but decided against it as he'd rather browse through my stuff.

I followed Quil outside again. He grabbed my last duffle bag while I emptied the car of the last things that were still left in it. I closed the car then, locked it and for a while pondered to just throw away the keys. Seriously, I hate this car.

"Quil, do you need any spare car parts for the garage?"

"Uh yeah, we always need those. Why?" He waited for me to empty the car so we could walk back in together.

I tilted my head towards the car "You can take it apart and keep what can be used. I don't want it anymore."

"You don't want a car?" he asked confused.

"No," I said opening the door for him as he carried more stuff "I just don't want _that_ car."

"Why not? What's wrong with it? It's a perfectly good model, small and easy to navigate, not to mention safe. Wasn't it your birthday present from your parents?"

"Exactly."

We were back at my room. Quil set the duffle bag down while I nudged Embry to get out of the way. He was currently browsing through some of my old pictures he had managed to dig out.

"Exactly what?"

"They bought me that car for my image. Mum forced me to get a driving licence as soon as I was legal to drive and then got me the car so I could flash around with it at school," I said bitterly remembering the whole experience.

Good-natured Quil, tried staying positive "I'm sure they didn't want you to brag with it in front of your friends. You did use it later, didn't you?"

I shook my head "Not in a million years. Driving here was the second or third time I really used it. I either always took a bus or hitched a ride rather than drive that rotten thing."

"Well how do you plan to get to school from here?"

"Walk?" I asked, looking up at him.

Quil gave me an amused look before he slowly shook his head "You can't walk there. It's a long way and you'll just get wet from the rain."

"It's half an hour walk if I take the shortcut through the woods," I explained "And a little rain won't kill me."

"Me or Embry will give you a lift then."

I rose my eyebrow at him "You will?"

"We will?" Embry finally looked away from the pictures.

"You shouldn't walk around these woods alone, Claire. It's not safe."

There he went on with the safety business in La Push again. Why are they so paranoid?

"But you'll take the car?" I asked ignoring the warning.

"We'll work our magic on it to remodel it until you like it. How's that?" Tempting actually. I didn't have the money to buy a new car and I knew that sooner or later I would need it, but... ugh, I really hated it!

I looked at Quil as he offered me his hand to shake and I realized that I actually wanted this. The car would have a different meaning if the guys would take care of it.

I took his offered hand. "Deal, but just changing the color will work. Nothing too flashy though."

"Whatever you like," grinned Quil in return.

"Say Claire," asked Embry from the floor where he was looking through my pictures again "Why aren't you smiling in any of these takes? I just went through almost all of them and you never smile."

Both Quil and I looked over Embry's shoulder to see what pictures he was talking about. I quickly recognized them as they were mostly from high school trips or some taken by Ray on random occasions. I shrugged "There was nothing to smile about probably."

"Yeah, but all of them?"

I only shrugged again. I took a bunch of the photos from his hand and browsed through them quickly "See I'm smiling here." I showed Embry the picture.

"Claire, that guy is pulling your face apart."

I looked at the picture again. Hey, no need to be picky. Ray might be pulling my face into a smile, but it was still a smile never the less. "Okay, what about this one?" I shoved another picture under Embry's nose.

He shook his head "That one was taken before you moved away."

I huffed, dropped the pile back into the box and gave up. Picking up my small bag of toiletries I marched in the bathroom to arrange my stuff there.

Quil watched the whole exchange in silence.

**xxx**

The rules were simple.

One: There are no rules.

Two: ... Scratch that, there is one rule, but it only applies for Embry and he fails to follow it regularly. Daily. All the time.

Okay so no rules, but there were a few simple things I had to remember. First, there was hardly any cooking done in the house. Embry could make like three dishes (that only contained eggs) and I know Quil can cook quite good, but he never bothered for just him and Embry so most of our meals will have to take place at Emily's. I could live with that.

Second, these guys don't own a washing machine so again most of the washing was done by Emily. Every Wednesday and sometimes Sunday they bring their dirty laundry (now, plus mine) and my aunt would have a field day in laundry galore. We pay her of course.

Third, pushing the second green button on the stove somehow makes the fridge make funny noises. No idea how that's linked, but the humming noise coming from the fridge sounds kind of like the Batman theme.

Fourth, Embry likes pushing that button. A lot.

Fifth, Quil's sketches were all over the place and I better leave those alone. Even the ones under the couch.

Sixth... there is no sixth, but like saying sixth. So sixth.

By the time evening came I was familiar with the place almost better than when I was a kid. Jacob came around just for fun later on. He filled me in with tips on how to live with the two monkeys and while I laughed at his suggestions I later realized he was quite serious. That made me slightly nervous. But just a bit.

Aunt Leah came around like Emily said she would. As was her nature, she made quite an entry. She didn't knock or ring the doorbell like most of us goody two-shoes would. No, she pounded on the door like she really had some personal grudge against it. I don't know if it was Jake, Quil or Embry who finally answered the door since Leah usually snapped at all of them in the same way.

"Out of my way, mutt!"

Then again she might be talking to Sunny.

She was fast at finding me in my room and sweeping me in a one-armed hug before I could even really greet her "Hello, little cute Claire."

When I finally broke free I took a step back with a grin "Hey Aunt Leah."

She smirked "I like what you did with your hair."

We grinned at each other then. We had almost the same hair style. When I cut mine I had an image of her in my head. Aunt Leah was always something like a role model to me, someone I would look up to and want to be like when I grew up. She was strong, she stood tall, she didn't take shit from people and she successfully survived among this group of men who sometimes gave the impression they didn't even like her but for some unknown reason had to stick together.

When I voiced once out that I wanted to be like Aunt Leah when I grew up Quil had some weird nervous reaction. He blabbered like a fool trying to explain me something that I didn't quite understand. But at the same time he didn't want to discourage me, especially when I explained him what I liked about her. Embry wanted to perform an exorcism.

"Come," she said after our greetings and small talk were done "There's someone I want you to meet."

She grabbed my hand and half dragged me out of my new room to the living room where the other guest was waiting. Tihomir, as I presumed, was like someone I always imagined she would end up with. With a leather jacket and black jeans he gave out the vibe of a bad boy type. He was a bit taller than her, his hair was bleached to white and tied in little pony tail at the nape of his neck. His eyes were an interesting mixture of blue and gray, quite beautiful. But what mostly caught my attention were the two ragged scars on the side of left cheek. They weren't big like the ones Emily had, but it was no doubt made my some kind of an animal. Too ragged.

Leah bounced up to him happy like a school girl, grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me so we were standing only three or four feet apart. He extended his hand for me to take "It's a pleasure Claire, I had heard so much about you. My name is Tihomir." He had a distinct accent not anything like a French or German would have, but with a more rough burr and at the same time somehow soft.

I took his hand to shake it, but he brought it up to his lips and stopped only an inch away from kissing it with a small smile on his lips. I felt a gush of air on the top of my knuckles and for a moment I wondered if he was sniffing my hand or something.

He lowered my hand while I nodded dumbly "Nice to meet you."

Leah squeezed to his side smiling broadly "See, I told you she was cute."

After I ducked my head at the praise I noticed Sunny standing behind Quil and Embry looking from around their legs uncertainly "And here's someone I would like you to meet, Aunt Leah." I motioned for Sunny to come closer, but he just whined and stayed put.

"What's wrong with you, boy? Come here." I called for him. Sunny took a few uncertain steps forward and then backed away again. He held his nose up in the air and kept smelling the air. He didn't like what he smelt.

Ever since I got Sunny I have learned to trust his instincts. He was a dog after all, so there were things he could sense that I could never even imagine. He could predict storms before even the weather forcasters knew about it, he even gets all agitated around drunk people even if they appeared to act normal and so on. I learned to pick up his signs after a while, but I have never seen him act like this. He was afraid and uncertain.

I took a quick glance up at Tihomir and then I backed away too. When I stepped closer to Sunny he nudged my palm with his wet nose. Smiling at him I scratched him behind his ears "At ease, boy."

Quil, who was standing closes to me, said "Don't worry about him, dogs always act like this around Tihomir. Bonbon even refuses to stay in the same room as him."

I rose my eyebrow at that. Should I consider that as a bad sign? Tilting my head sideways I looked up at Tihomir. He was looking at Sunny with a bored expression and then out of nowhere he grinned at him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something definitely off about this guy. Nothing too bad though, just off.

I gave Sunny another pat and said confidently "He'll get use to it soon. Sunny's too curious for his own good."

"Watch out for him Claire," snickered Embry "Curiosity killed the cat."

"But not the dog," answered Leah as she nudged Embry (quite sharply) out of the way to get to my dog. She patted him fondly and Sunny enjoyed the attention "You took good care of him Claire. He's one handsome fellow."

My chest swelled with pride. Sunny really was a good looking dog. Medium size, soft fur, nice grey colours and a pretty head with even prettier canine eyes... wait. Ah man, that sounds like I have a fetish or something.

"It always amazed me how Leah gets out of character whenever she's around Claire," grumbled Embry not so quietly "Why didn't we ever get the special treatment?"

"You can take three guesses why," snapped Leah back. I grinned. Some people changed so little over the years.

Embry got all riled up at the challenge. He got ready for a comeback when Jacob stopped him "No arguing with Claire's guests." He then pushed a bottle of beer in his hands and moved to the gigantic couch. Embry didn't argue. He only stuck his tongue out at Leah and went to raid the fridge.

"So how's my dear older cousin these day?" Leah asked me after she too got comfortable on the couch. Tihomir silently sat down next to her and possessively put an arm around her. I was left with the armchair while Quil leaned on the side of the chair. I was about to scoot over so he could sit too, but he just gave me the look that said I should stay put. I did.

"I don't know really," I shrugged lamely. My mother was probably frowning herself off somewhere. She does that a lot.

Leah rolled her eyes "Still stuck up probably. Does she still have that big iceberg stuck up her-"

"Leah!" Quil cut her off sternly.

"Hey, it's not like it's not true," said Leah in her defence. Tihomir laughed softly next to her. She seemed to amuse him. "Suzy was always too good for this place." There was bitterness in her voice now. There was still an old grudge flaming inside her. Aunt Leah doesn't forgive and forget. She's more of a revenge-kill-and-forget-later type. She would make a good assassin.

"She likes the city life," I said quietly.

Leah snorted "That's not an excuse to act the way she does."

Heavy silence fell around the small room. How do I reply to that? I refuse to defend my mother. But I refuse to talk ill about her too. Unknowingly I grabbed the hem of Quil's shirt. He scooted a little closer and I immediately felt better. No words were needed. I didn't have to talk about my mother if I didn't want to.

Then Embry chose to belch. Quite loudly.

"Jesus Embry, I think Forks didn't quite hear you," started laughing Jake. I began laughing with him.

Leah growled "Who ever let you out of your pig stall should be shot, run over and shot again."

The pig in question grinned back and winked at her "I know you find me irresistible, baby."

I leaned into Quil and began laughing harder. No matter where they were, no matter who was present or who kept pulling them apart- Leah and Embry will always bicker with each other. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. I can't even remember when was the last time that happened, but it was a marvellous feeling.

Holding my laughing form to his side, Quil rolled his eyes at Embry. Nothing could wipe the happy smile off his face.

**xxx**

It wasn't even midnight yet when someone knocked on my door. There's only one person who knocks in this house... "Yeah, Quil?"

His head popped around the door "You aren't asleep yet?"

"I will when I finish this chapter," I showed him the book I had propped against my legs in bed "You?"

He waved me his sketchpad "Work."

I sat up interested "Can I see? I hadn't seen any of your finished stuff in ages."

He nodded and entered my room. I reached for his sketchpad while he occupied the chair at my desk. He turned it backwards to straddle it and then just sat quietly while he watched me. I bookmarked my book and stored it under my pillow for safekeeping and then after a long, long while opened his pad again.

I lingered on every picture in awe. Even though there were pages and pages of car pieces (some of which I didn't even recognize) I still couldn't stop looking. Quil was really into detail. He might never draw anything beyond a sketch and never color anything, but everything already possessed such details that Quil never really had to finish it. There were also some sceneries of La Push like the First Beach and the mountain range. There was the old dirt road with Emily's house at the end of it, and there was another house, but I didn't recognize it from around here.

I wanted to glide my hand over each and every page and feel the smooth texture, but had to restrain myself from doing so. I doubt Quil would like it if I smudged his pencil work.

"Do you want me to draw something?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" I asked dumbly with my eyes still glazed in wonder. It's a possibility I might also be drooling.

He smiled and repeated himself "Do you want me to draw something?"

The golden trophy for the best idiot smile is mine. Smiling like a fool I nodded as I returned him his sketchpad. He turned on his chair and shifted some of my stuff on the desk so he had enough space for a paper and hand.

"What do you want me to draw?"

I snuggled into my bed until only my eyes were peeking from under the covers. I reached my hand out to search for Sunny who was sleeping soundly in his doggy basket by my side. "Sunny," I said quietly.

Quil smiled and nodded before setting to work. He took a few quick glances at my sleeping pup and then began drawing the first lines.

I left my hand where it was softly touching Sunny's back. For a few moments I just watched Quil's profile as he concentrated on the work before him and then for some unknown reason my eyes began to water. I didn't cry, I just closed my eyes and ignored it.

I let the sound of pencil against paper lull me into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Thank you guys for helping me out with the whole Collin/Brady age thing. I always miss out the small things... now does anyone know how old Rachel and Paul are? XD I'm trying to stay track with the books, but that's staring to prove almost impossible *fails with details*

Again sorry for the delay... but... can I still get a review? *insert pathetic puppy eyes here*


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer - **I don't own the song or lyrics in this chapter. They belong to Switchfoot (title: This is home).

Well hello there. Yes, I was gone for a while. Yes, I am deeply sorry. And yes, I do not have a good excuse for my absence. But! To make it up for all of you I made this chapter extra long (don't get used to that).

Also another apology goes to all of you whom I had not replied yet. I love you all so I'll get to you sometime soon. Really soon. I hope.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Friday morning started out normally. Around 7 am I was sitting on the railing out on the porch eating an apple while reading a book and waiting for Sunny to do his stuff by the nearby bushes. I was barefoot, wearing only sweats and a long tee so I was slightly cold so early in the morning, but I liked it.

A cool gush of air mussed up my hair and tousled the pages of my book. I sighed giving up with the pages and the wind so I closed the book. Taking another bite of my apple I looked up at the sky. The weather didn't looked promising, but who knows- this is La Push after all.

The porch doors opened right then. A very tousled, very sleepy and very grumpy Quil appeared. He took one glance at me, sniffed tiredly and yawned. He didn't even say good morning or anything, he just grunted something and then disappeared behind the door again.

I smiled amused before taking the last bite of my apple. Quil wasn't a morning person. He never complained though he just looked like he wanted to murder somebody.

I threw my eaten apple into the nearby woods so that the ants could finish the job. I grabbed my book and walked back inside calling Sunny after me.

Quil was now sitting at the dinning table with corn flakes, milk and juice before him. He had poured the flakes in a glass and was now currently adding milk to the juice he had previously purred in a bowl.

I sat down opposite him to observe. Quil didn't seem to notice anything amiss as he took a spoonful of milk and juice. He swallowed and then reached for the glass with flakes. He chewed on those like it really didn't bother him. Heck, he didn't even seem to notice.

I reached for the fruit bowl in the middle of the table and grabbed a pear. I munched on that while Quil continued with his. We sat in silence for a few minutes both enjoying our meals when Embry barged in.

"Morning my sweet luvs!"

Strange thing was he didn't come from his room but from the front door. Huh, I thought he was still asleep.

He came up to the table and placed a box before me "Emily said this is for you."

He grabbed a bowl and spoon from the counter then came back to sit down between us at the table. He stole the cereal box from Quil and then the milk. He stopped for a second to stare at Quil's bowl and then snorted "Weirdo."

I turned the box before me and quickly realized what it was. Ray had sent it. I opened the box and found my charger inside along with a letter and some warped candy. Caramel. Yuck. Thanks Ray.

"What is it?" asked Embry curious. There was a flake stuck on his cheek. Always a charmer that one.

"I forgot my charger back in Chicago. I asked Ray send it to me," I toppled the box over so the warped caramel sweets spilled out "You guys can eat those."

Embry grabbed a handful in his big paw and pulled them to his side. He left three for Quil "Uuu, thanks."

I nodded absentmindedly at him and checked the letter Ray had sent me. Woah... it was 5 pages long.

_My dearest princess,_

_I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me, and to confess to yourself that you had never even dreamed of such transports... When you are old, I want you to recall those few moments, I want your dry bones to quiver with joy when you think of them._

_All the memories of my youth speak to me as I walk, just as the sea shells crunch under my feet on the beach. The crash of every wave awakens far-distant reverberations within me. I hear the rumble of bygone days, and in my mind the whole endless series of old passions surges forward like the billows. I remember my spasms, my sorrows, gusts of desire that whistled like wind in the rigging, and vast vague longings that swirled in the dark like a flock of wild gulls in a storm cloud._

_I never knew till that moment, the madness of my dearest and most beloved friend. I cannot express myself, this is no time for words but I shall have a pride, a melancholy pleasure, in suffering what you yourself can hardly conceive for you do not know me. I am now about to go out with a heavy heart, because my appearing this Evening will stop any absurd story which the events of today might give rise to. Do you think now that I am cold and stern, and artful? Will even others think so?_

_If tears, which you saw and know I am not apt to shed, if the agitation in which I parted from you, agitation which you must have perceived through the whole of this most nervous nervous affair, did not commence till the moment of leaving you approached, if all that I have said and done, and am still but too ready to say and do, have not sufficiently proved what my real feelings are and must be ever towards you, my love, I have no other proof to offer._

_On whom should I lean, if not on you? My weary mind turns for refreshment to the thought of you as a dusty traveler might sink onto a soft and grassy bank._

…

(this continued for another three pages)

…

_You've told me nothing will ever change things between us. But I can't. I can't just…__let you go__. Even Darth Vader, an evil Sith lord, couldn't leave his son to die at the end of 'Return of the Jedi'._

_You make me feel so safe. So warm. I want to crawl up inside you. Like Luke Skywalker crawled up inside his tauntaun to protect himself from the sub-zero temperatures of Hoth, where the Rebel Alliance was hiding from the Galactic Empire._

_I hope you now understand. When I am with you I leave aside my contemptuous, suspicious nature. I wish I felt your head on my shoulder. I think I will go to bed._

_I have been a two-hour writing this thing. Will you write something to me? I hope you will. How am I to sign myself?_

_yr. most attached_

_Raymond_

_P.S. Byron, Flaubert, Goethe, Joyce… and the Internet. How's that for an epical love letter? XD Anyway I hope you're good and well. Patrick says hello. Make friends and don't act so damn socially challenged in your new school. I mean it, Claire. Talk to new people and make friends._

_P.P.S. And make your bed every morning!_

Huh?

I skipped through the first four pages in wonder. Well that was random. He really must have been bored to put all this together. Not to mention I'm surprised he even knows who Goethe and Joyce were.

"What's it say? '_My dearest princess'_…" Embry tried reading over my shoulder.

I folded the letter back together and stored it in the little box away from his curious eyes "Five pages of randomness and one paragraph about my well being."

Embry tried stealing the box from me but I pushed it further away while at the same time pushed his cereal bowl in the other direction. Embry followed his bowl.

"He calls you-" Embry cough slightly "Princess?"

"It's just a joke," I glared at him in warning before he could come up with any strange ideas.

A spoon clattered against a ceramic dish. Embry and I both looked up at Quil who was staring at his bowl. He wasn't blurry eyed anymore but seemed alert. And slightly angry "Milk has gone bad."

He stood up suddenly. Taking his dishes he purred the rest away in the sink and left to his room. Never had I seen any of these men throw food away, not even the most revolting looking or smelling stuff.

I looked up at Embry in question "What's wrong? He didn't even finish breakfast."

It was one of those rare occasions that Embry had a serious look on his face. He was staring at the way Quil had just disappeared to "It's nothing. It's still too early for him to be up."

"Then why is he up so early?" I asked curious.

Embry turned to look at me for a second or two. It was almost as if he was asking me 'What do _you_ think' but didn't ask aloud. He then just dismissed my question as a large grin settled on his face "Excited for tonight, party girl?"

"What's tonight?"

"The barbecue party of course! Don't tell me you forgot," Embry's eyes twinkled with mirth. That's right, no need to laugh out loud at my forgetfulness, Em.

But I did completely forget that was today. I remember talking about it with Emily yesterday and still somehow the date completely passed my notice. Oh well…

I shrugged.

Embry snickered "Don't show too much enthusiasm, your heart might not take it."

"You guys really shouldn't be making such a big deal out of it."

"But it's also your birthday party!" he persisted enthusiastically.

"That's not-" I paused and suddenly realized something. I looked up at Embry surprised "What?"

"What, what?"

"A birthday party? Who said anything about a birthday party? It's just supposed to be a little get together!" I panicked. When did they decide to make a birthday party out of it? And where was I when they were deciding?

Embry gave me a funny look "Claire, when have we ever had a _little _get together?" He stressed the word 'little' and I slowly realized his meaning. Everyone was invited.

My head swam with numbers as I began calculating names. I then realized that over the six years that I was gone their families expanded. The babies and toddlers which I knew back then were now full grown kids. Jared and Kim's Ben and Caroline will be 10 and 6 soon. Quil mentioned that Paul and Rachel had three little girls and the oldest was 5 and the youngest just a few months old. Also Seth got married somewhere along the line and they just recently discovered that she was pregnant. Talk about a baby boom.

Noticing my silent mood Embry continued "Not to mention your birthday was just a week ago so it gives us a good excuse to make this gathering your birthday party. Come on, Claire, you'll love it. There'll be cake and everything!" As if _that _could make me feel any better. I banged my head against the table. This. Is. Not. A. Good. Idea.

Ignoring my self-destructive behavior Embry just kept talking on and on about the food "Sam and Jared will be on the grill. Oh, those two make some damn good steaks. And Emily was already making some sweet smelling pastries this morning, not to mention Camille promised her special mashed potato mix…"

There was a glow on Embry's face as he talked about the food. His eyes held a far away look as he no doubt pictured the grub in his head… or mouth. It was the same glow that a mother gets when she holds her baby for the first time.

I wanted to smack that look off his face but knowing that I would probably hurt myself in the process, I groaned. I laid my cheek on the table and peered up at him "What if I just drop by for let's say… 20 minutes? Kisses, hugs and I'm out of there."

"What are you talking about?" Embry grinned as he draped a hand around my slacked shoulders "You have to stay till the end. I went through all that trouble last night to find a date. Don't throw my hard work away." He lectured and got up to raid the fridge for some more chow.

"But I really don't like crowded places," I murmured to myself in defeat.

**xxx**

At 10 am I shifted in front of Quil's door uncomfortably with a plate in my hand. He didn't finish his breakfast earlier so I made him a sandwich… well sort of. I looked down at my pathetic attempt and hid the plate behind my back. I knocked feebly.

For a moment I wondered if Quil even heard that and when I was about to do it again his voice called "Yeah?"

"Hey," I peeked carefully from around his door "Can I come in?"

"Sure," I heard his muffled voice but Quil was nowhere in sight. I carefully entered his room and took a look around. It has changed so little over the years. Blue walls that I'd helped paint when they moved here were still the same shade. His bed took up most of the room, but whenever he slept in it it looked too small for him. Besides the little nightstand there was also a worktable filled with papers, sheets, car magazines and a laptop. I looked behind the door where his closet was located and there was Quil.

He was rooming around viciously and soon a shirt was send flying in my face. Actually now that I looked at my feet, his whole floor was covered with clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"My shift starts in a few minutes. Brady's probably already waiting for me but I still can't find my old tattered shorts."

I leaned on the door and watched his back as he pealed and threw his other garments around "What's wrong with the ones you're wearing now?"

"These are my good shorts," he replied without looking up "I only use the old ones for patrol."

I picked a pair of cutoff slacks from the floor which Quil must have missed in his haste "You know I always wondered what you guys did on patrol that sometimes got your clothes so ripped up. You either must get attacked by a bear of fall off a cliff or something."

I was only joking, but Quil's back stiffened. He turned slowly to look at me. I smiled sadly and handed him his missing shorts. No explanations given, no more questions asked.

"Thanks," he said after taking the piece of clothing.

It has always been like this. It's not like I never noticed the strange things going around, the occasional strange behavior and the holes in stories, but Quil… Quil didn't want to lie. He never lied and he hated it. So if I didn't want him to start now and if I didn't want to be lied to, I better just stuck my curiosity in a metal box and ship it Kingdom come.

_But…_

Still holding the plate behind my back I took a step back ready to leave.

_But I thought it would be different now- after all this time and now that I'm older._

"Claire…" his voice called me to stop retreating.

"Hm?" I looked at him again. Somehow I had a hard time meeting his eyes.

For a silent moment he just watched me. I had a feeling like he would apologize or something, but then he must have decided against it as he asked "What are you hiding there?"

It was my turn to stiffen. What if I put something in there that a normal sandwich normally doesn't have? What if I mixed something poisonous? Can I even make something poisonous with those ingredients?

"I… uh-"

"Lemme see," he ignored my stuttering and easily advanced towards me until he was towering over me to see what I was hiding. His face instantly brightened "Is that for me?"

Busted.

I brought the plate forward and nodded "You didn't finish breakfast. I thought you might get hungry so…" I trailed off as Quil snatched the load off the plate. He admired it for a few seconds before taking a big bite.

"I-uh, I'm not sure if it's good. I didn't know what to add so it may not be edible," I tried warning him. I'm still not sure if adding salt on the banana slices was such a good idea.

Quil didn't seem to hear me as he sat down at his worktable and ate like he was having the best snack in his life. While he was engrossed in his own little world I admired the photographs and sketches he had pasted on his wall.

There was an old photograph of him, Jacob and Embry when they were still little boys. Another photograph when they were older but still in their teens hanging out in Jacobs little garage. There was an old picture of his parents before they split up, and another one next was of a 10-year old Quil smiling at something Old Quil next to him was saying. Above these photographs was a big sketch of a wolf pack running through a forest. There were also two more drawings of a car that Quil must really like, and one last more…

I moved closer wondering what it was and I quickly recognized the small drawing. I was the one who made it. It read _'Hepy birtday Quil!'_ and signed _'Kisses from Clare'_. It was a simple child's drawing of me and Quil. I was holding his hand and we were both smiling even though I drew big gray clouds above our heads. Smiling I traced a finger over my name. I always forgot the 'i' in Claire.

I looked back at the whole wall as something kept bothering me. Didn't he use to have more photographs up here? I turned around so I could ask him about that, but at that moment Quil began sneezing.

"Bless you," I said as he sniffed before sneezing two more times. I flinched then "Maybe I added too much pepper."

Quil waved my worries away with a grin "It's was good. Nothing like I've ever eaten before, but still good. Thanks." Wow, he really did ate the whole sandwich. For a second there I really was worried. Embry, who monitored my preparing, thought I was joking when I said it was for Quil.

I smiled feebly at his prize and then my gaze stopped on the small clock he kept on his nightstand. I cringed "When are you meeting Brady again?"

Quil's eyes widen as he shot up from his chair "Crap! What time is it?"

He was almost half an hour late. He shot from his room to the bathroom, changed and then back again before I could even apologize for keeping him away. He stopped just enough to tousle my hair and say a goodbye "I'll see you at Emily's tonight. You go ahead with Embry, I'll be a little late." He waved and he was gone. I checked the clock on his nightstand again. Wow, that had barely taken him a minute.

**xxx**

I checked my watch for what seemed the 5th time in the last ten minutes. It read 3:55 pm. I looked up at Embry and sighed dramatically. Five more minutes before we're officially late. Aunt Emily is going to have our heads.

Earlier Embry announced that his date had arrived and that he was going to take us over at Emily's. I got to meet Donna, we got into his van, I fastened my seatbelt and waited… and waited. That was half an hour ago.

Now I kept 'accidently' kicking the back of Embry's seat, coughing like I had a sore throat and drumming my fingers against the car door in hopes they would stop eating off each other's faces. I was ignored shamelessly.

Only a few minutes later when my wristwatch beeped to indicate it was a full hour did the couple pull apart. Embry grinned and winked at me in the reverse mirror "Sorry, looks like we're gonna be late."

I just nodded. Emily will understand if I blame Embry.

The touching and kissing later did not stop. Even when we were driving I was amazed by Embry's ability to stay on the road despite his distraction. The moment we stopped I was out of the car and distancing myself before I got the honor of seeing another show.

I waited by the entrance door in hopes the two would come behind me. I really did not want to enter alone if the house was full of guests. Of course I was waiting in vain since Embry and Donna were probably past second phase by now. Bah! I reached for the doorbell anyway. I could ether stay outside for another hour or just get this over with.

"You're late," was the first thing Emily said when she opened the door.

I pointed over my shoulder to where Embry's van was parked "Embry and Donna need half an hour start before going anywhere. The original plan was to get here early."

My aunt sighed in disapproval as she looked over at where the van was parked "Seriously, that Embry…" She shook her head then and ushered me inside "Almost everyone is here. Jacob and Renesmee will be a little late as will Brady and Quil, but the rest are all eager to see you again. Come on."

I could hear a few voices coming from the kitchen but the rest of the house appeared to be deserted. This meant that everything was set out on the porch and that was also the way Emily was urging me to go. For a moment I speculated about jumping in the laundry room and locking myself in for the rest of the day, but they would probably get me out sooner or later. Mournfully I watched the door to the laundry as we passed it. Maybe I could hide in it later?

When we reached the kitchen Emily, unaware to my displeasure, happily dragged me in behind her "Look who's finally here!"

When the door and my only exit were firmly closed behind me I was finally forced to look up. "Oh my, Seth was right. You really have grown, Claire," The familiar voice drew a smile on my face and I eased a little "Aunt Kim."

She came up to me, but instead of pulling me in a hug like I feared she would, she just took my hands in hers and gave me a reassuring squeeze with a warm smile "Somehow I still expected a 12 year old girl to walk in in your place."

"Sorry about that, but it's what we do, we grow up," I grinned.

Kim nodded with a knowing look in her eyes "We missed you here."

And I couldn't even describe how much I missed this place too. I just squeezed her hand in return and she seemed to understand my message "Welcome back."

Besides Kim, there were also Seth and another woman in the room that I didn't recognize. The rest seemed to be outside, thank god. I don't think I could handle the whole crowd at once.

Seth came closer with the unknown woman "Claire, I'd like you to meet Camille, my wife."

We smiled and shook hands. Camille was smaller compared to Emily or let alone me, but next to Seth she looked almost like a child. She had curly chestnut hair and eyes of an interesting mixture of green and blue. She seemed to possess something that lured you in to her presence. Her smile was sincere and friendly, and I couldn't help but instantly liking her.

"And don't forget our soon to be newest addition to the family," she brought her hand to her slightly bulging stomach. She radiated motherly pride at a full blast.

Seth instantly reached with his hand to cover over hers and looked just as overjoyed as she did. "Six more months," he said and kissed her temple.

Six more months and you can say goodbye to your peaceful life as you know it. Eh, kids, babies... I never liked them. What do I say in a situation like this? Congrats, I hope you won't regret it later? Oops, it could happen to anybody? Mmm, there's nothing like smelly diapers in the morning?

…

Right, I really should do something about this little distaste of mine.

"So, what are you hoping for? A boy? Girl?" I asked what I hoped was a harmless question.

"Boy."

"Girl."

They both answered at the same time. I rose my eyebrows at them and the two hastely corrected their answers.

"Girl."

"Boy."

They then looked at each other and started laughing. I couldn't help but grin too "You guys still need to work on that."

Small chat was over when Emily urged us all to go outside. She and Kim had already started carrying trays of food outside.

"Do you need help with those?" I asked hopefully as Kim carried a big bucket of mashed potatoes pass me.

"No thank you, honey. We just about have everything, you can go out and find a seat," I was quite literally pushed outside by Emily. I'm starting to have a feeling that she knows about my little reluctancy problem.

Thrown like a sole piece of meat to a hungry pack of wolves I'm glad my mind went blank for a few minutes. People called my name, happy voices greeted me, I was pulled in every possible direction from one person to another and I lost count how many hands ruffled my hair. I think I at least managed to keep a feeble smile on my face when they passed me around like a puppet. A few minutes later my hair stuck up in every direction, my shirt was pulled to a funny angle and someway along the way I thought I lost a shoe. But I didn't. Or maybe I did and someone put it back on and I didn't even notice.

I came back to my senses when I suddenly found myself seated between Ally and Collin. When did I sit down? I looked around the table and began recognizing the faces now that I wasn't so overwhelmed anymore. Opposite of me Jared and Kim had sat down, to Jared's right were Paul and Rachel, nudged between them was a small baby seat with a nine month old Alexis in it. The small baby was eyeing me with a weird look on her face. My eyes narrowed and then she smiled goofily. Oh, she knew… babies can _smell_ fear.

I quickly looked away to avoid eye contact, but the creepy sensation of being watched by the toddler followed me. I ignored it by looking who else was by the huge table. There were two empty seats next to Rachel and next was Sam with Emily followed by Camille, Seth and Collin. Next to Ally was Mattis who was telling something funny to Ben by his side. There were another pair or empty seats and then finally Tihomir and Leah next to Kim to complete the circle.

To sum it all up, the table was HUGE, but then again so was Emily's porch. I reached my hand to the center of the table and barely made it. There's no way I could reach anything beyond that. Wow, who makes tables like this these days?

Jared who noticed my failed attempts to reach over for something asked politely "Can I get you anything, Claire?"

I quickly pulled my hand back "Oh no, I was just checking to see how far I can reach. This table is practically a stage."

Jared smiled friendly at me "How's life at the Garage? Quil and Embry treating you well?" I guess he wanted to strike a conversation now that he had my attention.

"Yeah, of course," I nodded "I mean Embry is Embry, he at least warns me about those experiments he keeps in the fridge, and Quil," I smiled then "I can always rely on Quil."

Jared nodded in approval while Leah, who was also listening, snorted "I still don't believe it was such a good idea for you to move in with those two goofs. Quil can pass, but Embry can hardly take care of himself."

Smiling earnestly and I turned my attention to her "But I still really like it. I forgot what it's like to really share a home with someone. Embry may have failed to prepare dinner yesterday, but we had a good laugh about it until we ordered some pizza."

Leah remained quiet as she watched me with a thoughtful expression. Collin by my side passed a dish full of some meat. I picked a small piece and passed it to on to Ally. I tried ignoring Leah's expression, she seemed like she wanted to ask me something. Whatever it was she let it go and asked about Embry instead "Didn't you come with him? Where is he?"

"In the back of his van with Donna," I replied before taking a bite of the steak I picked.

"I thought her name was Michelle," said Collin confused by my side.

"Didn't he say her name was Tyra?" Mattis asked in our direction.

The boys exchanged knowing glances before grinning and continuing eating. Jared shook his head sadly "That stupid womanizer."

Embry turned up half an hour later with Donna by his side. She introduced herself so we were finally sure what her real name was. They sat between Tihomir and Ben, and since Embry quickly engaged in what seemed an important manly conversation between a ten year old Ben and Mattis, Donna was left with Tihomir for company. From across the table I could see how intimidated she was by him. She kept moving her chair closer to Embry until there was a huge gap between her and the white haired man. Tihomir seemed to be enjoying this.

When the table was cleared of almost anything edible thanks to the bottomless pits of the Quileute boys, Jacob and Renesme made an appearance. With a cake. And candles. And then they all started singing 'Happy Birthday' to me. And out of nowhere three little giggling girls ran along and tried wriggling their way on mine and Ally's lap to get a better view of the cake coming our way.

This couldn't get any worse.

_Flash_. Embry has just pulled out a camera and was taking pictures. _Flash. Flash._

I take that back. Someone upstairs was making fun of me again.

"Claire, smile!"

_Flash._

**xxx**

I was sneaking down the hallway in the dark. Cautiously and slowly, like a shadow, I moved against the wall. My hand inched forward.

Just one feet away… Almost… Almost…

"Claire, what are you doing?" The lights suddenly turned on and a shadow felt over me. I froze.

"Claire?"

With my hand still outstretched towards the doorknob I glanced over my shoulder and smiled sheepishly at my aunt "I wanted to check on something."

Emily crossed her hands and gave me the Look "In the laundry room? In the dark?"

"A shirt. I left a shirt in there and I need to change," I answered not ready yet to abort my mission. I gave Emily what I believed was my most honest look.

She didn't buy it "The shirt you're wearing now looks completely okay to me."

I knew I should have spilled juice over me just in case!

Since I couldn't come up with a better excuse, I gave up. I knew hiding or getting home wouldn't be easy. Emily watched over me like a hawk. Whenever I tried coming up with an excuse to leave she would find a reason for me to stay. Whenever I left the porch or kitchen for more than two minutes she would trail after me and drag me back.

And I didn't want to go back. Embry and Collin had started a karaoke marathon. They wanted me to sing for crying out loud!

"Just sit down and have some more cake," she seated me at my previous spot and loaded me a second portion of the cake. I looked at the piece sadly and then mournfully up at my aunt. She smiled brightly in return and ran off to coo over Alexis with Camille. I played with the cake on my plate, there's no way I could eat another bite.

"What are you so gloomy about?" The chair next to me moved and my head snapped up.

"Quil!" I exclaimed with an overjoyed smile "When did you get back?"

"Just now," he returned the grin "Now what did I miss?"

I scooped my chair closer to him and pushed my plate forward "Cake." Really, he had missed _a lot_ of cake. Without complain Quil took my plate and began eating. He looked starved.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked curiously. He barely made three bites and his plate was empty.

"When you made me that sandwich. I hadn't had time to grab a bite before I got-" Quil stopped in mid sentence as I loaded another big slice of cake on his plate. He looked at the slice with longing then at Emily and back to me with caution "Emily doesn't like if we over eat our portions. She keeps close tabs on us since the last time we ate her house dry."

"My birthday, my cake, I do whatever I want with it," I encouraged him. I began picking whatever stuff was left from around the table to load more on his plate. I got him another cake slice along with a mountain of pickles, cucumbers and cheese. There was no meat left.

"Woah dude, since when are you a vegetarian?" Jacob came up to us and took a seat besides Quil. He picked up a pickle with a funny expression on his face.

"Mfh, hmmfh," grunted Quil in response with his mouth full of cake and cucumber.

As if understanding him Jacob nodded solemnly "Sorry about that, Emily wasn't fast enough to hide the rest of the steaks. Embry got to them before she could pry them out of his mouth."

Quil didn't seem bothered by that. He was already used to 'First come, first serve' so this was just another dinner at Emily's for him. I was about to make another round around the table for him when the phone in my back pocket began vibrating. I excused myself and hopped around the porch. I intended to walk around the house to get some privacy since I believed it was Ray. I stopped midway when I noticed the callers ID.

I stood transfix on the dark side of the house staring at the little blue screen. It wasn't Ray. It was my mother.

I hadn't talked to her since the day I stormed out on her. My aunt had carefully kept the phone calls private between the two of them and I really had no big desire to talk to her, but somehow I wanted her to understand. I wanted her to know.

My hand shook slightly as I lifted the phone to my ear "Hello?"

"_This has gone far enough, Claire,"_ my mother's hard voice spoke coldly _"You have proven your point, now I hope you're half way back to Chicago."_

"Mom…" I trailed off. How do I explain this to her? What words must I use so she'll understand? "I'm not coming back. I want to stay here."

"_That is not an option. I told Emily she should have you here by today,"_ she replied without a beat.

"But I don't want to leave. I really like it here and-"

"_Did you understand a word I just said?_" she cut me off _"I want you on the next plane home."_

"But Sunny-"

"_Then leave that blasted dog there. Animals shouldn't be allowed in a house anyway."_

I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down enough so my voice wouldn't shook "Why?"

"_Why what?"_ she asked back.

"Why won't you let me stay?"

"_Because that place is cursed!" _she snapped back more agitated than before _"I'm telling you this for your own good, Claire. And I'm giving you three options. You could either get back here on your own. I could send the authorities after you since you're not of age yet, or I could come and bring you back myself."_

I looked up at the cloudy night sky and felt lost. What do I say? What do I do?

"_The last two options will also be followed by charges against anyone that will stay in the way. I have all the necessary papers ready. It's all up to you, Claire,"_ she threatened me.

I tightened the hold on my phone "Please, don't do that. No one forced me into anything so it's none of their fault."

"_Don't even get me started on whose fault this is. If I had filled those charges years ago, none of this mess would have been happening. We wouldn't have to move, your father and I wouldn't have to work endless nights and days to find the right jobs again, and your sister and you wouldn't have to go through all those school changes and transfers. Sarah really did have problems adjusting. All of this could have been avoided if Sam hadn't interfered and that Quil boy-" _she seemed to bite her tongue in the last moment. She sighed over the phone and I could picture her pinching the bridge of her nose tiredly.

I, on the other hand, stilled and was almost afraid to breathe again. What was she talking about? This is the first time she ever mentioned Sam or Quil being fault for our move. She and dad told us it was because of their jobs that we had to go away. How did Sam interfere? And what did Quil have to do with anything? I had so many questions…

"Mom?" I asked cautiously when the silence on her end stretched for a while. It's not like her to quieten in the middle of an argument.

"_Look, Claire,"_ she finally spoke again this time more calmly _"You'll get hurt. I don't want you to end up like Emily."_

End up like Emily in what way? Happy with a loving husband and children? The only bad thing about Emily that I think of was getting pregnant with twins. Double trouble. But still, I don't think Emily ever minded.

"_Just get back home, Claire. We can pretend none of this ever happened."_

Ironic really. She wanted me back there to pretend we're a happy family while I wanted to stay here and actually be happy. I bowed my head and mulled over the words Jacob spoke to me a few days ago. I had already made my decision.

"Mom," I started softly "I can't go back. There's something here that's a part of me. I have to stay… or at least give me time until I find it. Please," I pleaded "Just give me more time."

She didn't answer. For a few moments we waited in silence, and then she hung up on me. I pulled my phone away and stared at it amazed. She didn't deny me and she didn't allow me anything, but that was the best answer I could get from her.

A big weight fall from me and my small victory almost felt euphoric. This won't last long, but at least it was something.

Just then another weight settled on my shoulders. An enormous hand was slumped over me as Embry appeared out of nowhere. He pushed me to his side and began dragging me towards the stage he and Collin had built for karaoke "There you are, Claire! I've been searching for you all over the place. Come on, you owe me a song birthday girl."

I almost strangled myself when I tried to pull away. Embry didn't even seem to notice my effort. He pushed me forward, dumped a microphone into my hands and still kept that annoying hand around my shoulder. I wanted to bite him.

"Can I have your attention everyone," he called and instantly everyone turned their heads in our direction "Claire and I had decided to sing you a little song." Correction, I wanted to kill him.

The crowd cheered, someone in the background (I don't know if it was Jared or Paul) called "As long as Collin and Brady don't get to sing a duet. Dying animals make better sounds than those two together." Brady, who I only now noticed, didn't even make an effort to protest but just laughed merrily. Meanwhile Embry was checking the laptop for a right song "Your pick, baby Claire. Which one would you like?"

I stared at him wide eyed. Was he serious? I can't sing! I couldn't even talk in front of a whole class when I had a presentation in school. And I failed all of my presentations.

When I didn't answer him Embry picked one on his own "This is an old one, but I know you know the lyrics. You used to like to listen to this CD in the Garage." He pushed 'play', grabbed another mic and moved to my side again.

A melody started playing from the loudspeakers. My head snapped up at the old familiarity of it. I looked up at Embry and he winked at me. He had finally got my attention. With an encouraging smile he lifted his mic and started singing the first lines:

I've got my memories

They're always inside of me

But I can't go back

Back to how it was.

I've never noticed it before, but Embry actually had a nice voice. He nudged me a little in encouragement to join him. I looked back at the small crowd, but there's still no way I could sing…

I believe it now

I've come too far

No, I can't go back

Back to how it was.

As my gaze swept pass everybody only Quil stuck out like a sore thumb. At least to my eyes he was different. He stood a little to the side and was leaning on the porch railing. He was watching us, watching me, watching the panic in my eyes. And then he smiled warmly.

Created for a place

I've never known

And I smiled back. That was all the encouragement I needed. I joined in and my voice quickly matched Embry's.

This is home

Now I'm finally

Where I belong

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I've been searching

For a place of my own

Now I've found it

Maybe this is home

Yeah, this is home

I suddenly realized that this was easy. As long as Quil was there I could be brave again. I don't need anyone to tell me that it's okay, I don't need people being friendly to me just for the sake of it, I just need to know that Quil is there…

Belief over misery

I've seen the enemy

And I won't go back

Back to how it was

My mother will try. I know she will. She will fight and she will rage. But she is wrong. I belong here with these people in this little rainy town. This is my world.

I laughed when Embry tried doing some funny little dance with me. He swirled us around and for a moment I forgot the lyrics as I just laughed.

We sung the chorus together again, Embry then did another solo gig which looked over dramatic and emotional with lots of air-guitar movements and entanglement in the cables. He then pushed me forward and I had to sing the last chorus alone. He only helped me with a little background singing, but the last lines were mine alone.

I've come too far

And I won't go back

This is home.

And I firmly believed in them.

* * *

So yes, I have to thank you all who posted me the ages of all the people I was asking about. I needed to create a baby boom. I was a bit skeptical about it at first, but this is set 15 years in the future since Breaking Dawn and while some boys might not age, the women sure do. Eh, babies.

Also, does anyone know what happened to the story Troubled? It was an epical Quil/Claire fanficiton writen by Mandi (I'm not sure if that's the right username- gah, I can't even find the author!). I wanted to recommend it to a friend but I can't find it any more. And it was a really, really, REALLY good and well written fanfiction (and complete on top of that). Any infromation about it would be much appreciated.


	11. Chapter 10

It's done. Finally! This chapter was a challenge. Somewhere along I also realized I'm a complete dork when it comes to writing fluff. It's. So. Hard! Okay, maybe I can write some small stuff, but that really sucks the life energy right out of me. Like a vacuum cleaner. Eh.

Now move along everyone I have to go find my beta, Katanagirl16, and offer her a big jar of mega tasty chocolate chip cookies for getting this chapter done so fast. I'd be lost without you!

And a BIG thank you to all of you who reviewed! Reviews are love :)

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Silence.

"Can I take the blindfold off?"

"No."

More silence.

"How about now?"

"No."

A bit more silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"Nope."

Even more silence.

"How much further?"

"Almost there."

Yet more silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"Not yet."

I may be 18 years old, but I can still whine like a child. Quil may seem like a fine young man, but he has patience like an old tree.

We have been on the road for a while now and I have absolutely no idea where we were going. Quil had simply asked me if I wanted to take a ride with him this morning, and when I happily complied he said he wanted to keep the place a secret until we got there. Now I have to wear a stupid blindfold.

"If I'm wearing this it means I would know where we were going."

"Yep, that's the whole idea," replied Quil cheerfully. Amazing, my nagging and sulking behavior have yet to dim his spirit.

I tugged at my seatbelt restlessly "Since I trust you enough to believe you're not taking me back to Chicago, this can only mean I've been to the mysterious place before."

"Correct," he replied with a calmer voice. I tilted my head in his direction. I had a feeling like he was looking at me. "Eyes on the road," I imitated my mother's strict tone.

Quil laughed then "Can you see through that? You're not supposed to see!"

So I was right! I grinned "Don't worry, I don't. I just _knew_ you weren't looking where you were supposed to be looking."

"Oh?" he said challengingly "And I suppose _you_ know where I'm supposed to be looking?"

"You can start with the road for now," I offered.

He huffed, but I guess he complied as out mysterious journey continued. I can't even guess for how long we've been driving. It felt like at least an hour or two. Then again it might have been longer since time flies when I'm with Quil.

"Are we there yet?" I tried my luck again.

Much to my surprise he replied "We are." And I felt his old jeep come to a stop.

I practically jumped in my seat ready to barge out. In my haste I forgot to unbuckle the seatbelt, to prove its self safe it strained me back to my seat with little effort. I groaned and then fought with the little buckle blindly. The damn thing wouldn't let me go!

Quil had by now come around to my side. I felt the cool breeze on my skin as he opened the door. He then probably just watched my struggle with amusement for a while. "You know you could remove the blindfold for starters," he replied smartly.

"You said not to remove it until you said so," I glared in his direction "And you havn't said so yet."

He chuckled "True. Since you like it so much then bear with it until I take you to a better spot. And let me help you with that before you tear out the whole seat."

I went unnaturally still when he leaned over me. We weren't even touching, yet I could feel the heat radiating from his body. I began leaning closer to him and then…_'click'_ he unbuckled my seatbelt for me and took my hand. "Watch your head," he said softly when he helped me out of the jeep.

He let me go for a moment as he began gathering some things from the backseat. I felt weird standing there not seeing anything and not knowing where I was. Unconsciously I reached for Quil until I got hold of the hem of his shirt. I felt right again. I turned my head in every direction as I tried analyzing my surroundings. The air was surprisingly clear and fresh. I couldn't hear any traffic around us so we must be a fair way away from any town or main road. The ground under my feet felt lumpy so we must have parked on some dirt road or something. Where the hell had he taken me?

"Okay, I've got everything we need," Quil gently pried my hand from his shirt and held it again as he began leading the way. We took a sharp turn and suddenly we were walking on something much softer, grass probably.

"You know," I began when we were a fair length away from the car "In horror movies this always ends badly."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," Quil joked.

"Funny," I remarked "I was just about to say the same thing."

"Oh?" he said impressed "And how could a small thing like you protect me?"

"I'm not small, you guys are just huge!" I protested "And if someone attacked you I promise I'd run as fast as I could to get some help."

"I doubt I'd need help."

"Not for you, idiot. For the attacker. You'd probably end up in jail for killing the man while merely swinging a punch or two in self-defense."

Quil laughed out loud "Okay, I see your point."

"Yes, you wouldn't be able to do it without me," I buffed my nails on my shirt with a playfulness that made Quil snicker.

The path began to scale up suddenly. I gathered we were walking up some small hill and that the top was our final destination. "We're almost there," spoke Quil with a hint of excitement in his voice. He quickened his pace and I almost had to run to keep up with him. When we reached the top he stopped suddenly and I stopped by colliding with his back. If he wouldn't be holding my hand I'd probably fall back and roll back down the hill like a runaway log. That almost sounds fun.

"Now, you step forward," he positioned me in front of him with my back turned toward him "And tell me what day it is."

"Uh, Sunday?" I asked a little unsure.

"Correct," I felt his finger at the back of my head as he began untying my blindfold "And what weather are we having?"

It was cloudy but dry in La Push when we left, but I don't think he was asking me about the weather there. I tilted my head towards the sky and simply tried felling it. The familiar warm glow of the sun caressed my face and made me smile "Sunny. It's bright and sunny."

"Correct again, now all that's missing is…" Quil suddenly pulled my blindfold away. Momentarily I was blinded by the brightness so I had to squint my eyes for a while. That didn't last long when I realized what lay before me.

"Sunflowers!" I cried in delight.

Fields upon fields and rows upon rows of sunflowers sway before us in a slight breeze. Standing on the top of the small hill gave us an excellent view of our surroundings. The tall flowers were gleaming brightly yellow and all facing the forenoon sun. I wanted nothing more than run down the slope and smash head first into the field. I wanted to sit down on the dirt ground somewhere in the middle of it and gaze up at them as they followed their glowing star.

"I haven't been able to say it yet - Happy birthday, Claire-bear," Quil's warm voice whispered against my ear.

I turned then and warped my hands around his middle in a hug. I squeezed myself tightly to him while continuously repeating "Thank you, thank you, thank you…" One large hand embraced me around my lower back while the other settled on my head and held me there. We stood still for a while before Quil asked "So, I gather you like it?"

I looked up at him and noticed him grinning "Of course, I love it." I turned in his hands and leaned back against him so I could admire the view again "I can't believe you remembered."

His hands tighten around me "How could I forget." He then leaned his chin on the top oh my head and I could feel the vibrations of his chest as he spoke "You used to plant those seeds all over the reservation, and while they grew at the beginning, they never fully bloomed."

"I cried because of it," I snorted at my childish behavior back then.

"A lot," he repeated nodding "That's why I brought you here back then. If the flowers won't come for you, why not bring you to the blooming flowers."

I smiled at Quil. I rose slightly on my tiptoes and gave him a light peck on his left cheek "You're so cute sometimes."

A bewildered look crossed Quil's face then "What?"

"You're cute," I repeated myself with a grin and took a step back "You do these little things, meaningful things that other people usually don't count as important. It's amazing that after all this time you still seem to know me better than I do myself."

"It's not that hard to guess," he said modestly and ducked his head. He looked like a little shy boy. My grin only grew wider. I have never seen a shy Quil before!

"Still," I turned facing the fields again and spread my hands wide "This is the best present yet." I wanted to hug the scenery before me, I wanted to imprint it in my memory forever. He had given me this.

Quil…

I looked back at him ready to thank him again and again, but instead I just admired him. He was standing there a little behind, hands in his pockets, eyes closed and a sincere smile on his lips.

Quil was amazing.

**xxx**

"These are really good," I said a while latter when we were sitting on the grassy hill eating sandwiches that Quil had made for us "I mean really, really good."

"You should stop admiring then and start eating them," he replied while I poked around the ham in my bread trying to find what made them so _good_. He had made three for each, and while I was still munching on my first one, he had already eaten all of his.

"But I can't figure what you put into them to make them so special," I argued before taking another bite and marveling at how good it tasted "I can never get mine to taste so mouth watering."

"There's nothing special about them, Claire. They're very… regular. Bread, cheese, ham, mayo and lettuce," Quil said as he laid back on the soft grass. He stared at the sky for a while before he turned towards me again. I was poking around my bread trying to see if that was really all. He snickered "Really Claire, just eat it. I'll make you more when we get back."

I shook my head "No it's not… I mean…" I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I began sprouting nonsense "I just never knew something this simple could taste so good."

"What are you talking about?" asked Quil confused "I've made you plenty of this stuff when you were little."

"That's funny," I said sadly looking down at the two simple pieces of bread "I remember so many things from when I was little, but I can't remember this taste. I completely forgot what your lunch boxes tasted like."

"Way crappier than what your mother used to make," sighed Quil.

"I've forgotten what that tasted like too."

"What do you mean?" he asked "Your mother is a good cook. Heck, better than Emily even, and that's saying something. That's hard to forget."

I mussed up my hair and shook my head "I can't remember the last time mum cooked for us. I think it has been years. For Thanksgiving three years ago when Sarah came home, I think."

"What?" Quil suddenly sat up alarmed.

I took another bite of my sandwich and looked up at him confused "What what?"

"What do you mean she hasn't cooked for you? What did you eat then?" He demanded.

I tilted my head in confusion "School cafeteria food. They have meals prepared there. Sometimes I was invited to stay for dinner by Ray's mom. It's also easy to order some takeout or call for a pizza. Oh, and I also like yogurts and fruit, anything that doesn't need any special preparing."

"What?" I asked after a while when Quil didn't respond "It's not like I starved. She was working all the time, she didn't had time to prepare anything."

"And she didn't even bother to show you how to make something on your own?" He snapped suddenly.

I was taken aback by his sudden outburst "No, I'm sorry. I never learned anything besides peeling a banana. I know this may seem odd to you, but I really-"

"Jesus, Claire don't apologize," he cut me off. His expression turned from outraged to sad "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. I'm angry with her for never bothering to make you anything or at least showing you."

I avoided his gaze "She really worked a lot, there was no time. I hardly saw her every day or the day after."

"That's not a good enough excuse," replied Quil still somehow agitated. I had a feeling he was trying conceal his real anger, I could see his hands shook with emotion. "What about your father?"

"He was even less around than mom. With business trips and all he was sometimes gone for weeks at a time."

"Sarah?"

"College. She comes home only for holidays."

Quil stood up without warning. He turned away from me and I was left with facing his back. "Quil?" I asked unsure "Look, I'm really sor-"

"Don't," he cut me off again "Just… please stop apologizing for them." He covered his face with his palm and bowed his head.

He was already turned away from me, but seeing this gesture made me feel even more distant from him. I'm not a people person, I'm no good when it comes to dealing with people's emotions, I'm not like Ray who can easily read you like an open book, I'm not even sure how I feel most of the time. As long as others are happy and as long as they leave me alone, I'm happy too. But this was different, this was Quil. I didn't understand him. His back was turned to me, his face was covered and he was silent. It felt like an ocean was separating us.

I was unsure about many things, but there's just one thing I'm certain about - For the first time in a very long time it mattered to me what the person before me was feeling.

I grabbed one of my still packed sandwiches and stood up. Gently I touched his other hand and waited patiently till he looked up. When Quil did look up I offered him the sandwich with a smile. It was the same gesture I did a few days ago, the only gesture I was somehow comfortable with.

When he looked up his face was not twisted in anger or disappointment. Quil's face was sad. Simply that, he was sad.

"Cheer up," I said brightly "Here, you can finish this one. I'm already full."

I didn't understand the reason behind his sadness, I just knew I wanted him smiling again. Quil should smile and laugh. He should _always_ smile and laugh just like he used to when I was little.

"Why are you doing this?" Quil asked gesturing to my food offering.

I looked down at my little bundle of bread and then back up at him confused "To make you feel better. Oh, would you rather like soda?"

I was about to turn and grab some soda from the rucksack Quil brought with us, but he stopped me "No. I mean, why are you trying to cheer _me_ up?"

"Because _you're_ the sad one here," I pointed at him with a small laugh as if he was asking a rhetorical question "What's with the weird questions?"

"Claire, you were alone. You were all alone." He stated out of the blue.

"What?"

"You were alone in that place. Like you said yourself, you hardly saw your parents, Sarah doesn't even live with you anymore and Emily once mentioned you never spoke about any other people beside Ray, you never mentioned any other friends," his voce held a certain tone of grief in it like he was the blame of everything "You were alone."

A strange emotion overcame me. Never mind the lonesome memories that statement brought up, my heart clenched painfully over the notion that I was the cause of Quil's grief. I didn't want him to feel that way so I smiled bravely at him "Being alone and being lonely are two completely different things, Quil."

I sat back down on the soft grass right next to him. I pulled my knees up and stared off at the distant horizon "If you ever meet Ray you'll quickly understand that it's hard to get lonely when you're around him. He's really a handful. Not to mention I had Sunny around all the time and that dog is a first rate attention whore. I was alone a lot, yes. But it was hardly all that lonely."

I could feel Quil's gaze staring intensely at me. He was probably judging my lie, or at least trying to see how much I believed in what I said. Actually, even I'm not sure how much that really is. The more you lie to yourself, the more you start to believe in it.

Quil plopped down next to me and didn't say anything. He put a hand around me and made me lean on his shoulder. There was nothing much to say, but I understood his message completely.

**xxx**

There's just one school in La Push. One school for everything. There's a small kindergarten in Forks, but La Push only has a special section with daycare, the same goes for middle school and high school. There's no point of making an extra building just for the sake of it. With so few students we can simply have one school for everything.

I looked up at the tall colorful building with something like childish wonder. While most of the small establishments around here are dull-colored and nothing special, the Le Push school is colorful and cheerful. Even with the constant rain which quickly made the colors fade, the people around here would always volunteer and paint it back themselves and let the kids draw on lover levels. The drawings around the ground floor would always change but a small section at the entrance would always have the same theme. A forest with a running pack of wolves, the tribe's ancestors.

I nervously shifted my old back bag on my shoulder and walked across the road to get closer to it. Quil gave me a lift today. Seeing his tired face this morning made me tried arguing with him that walking here wouldn't be such a problem, but he simply wouldn't listen. Actually I don't think he even heard me. Quil's weird like that in the morning, he drove me here still in his PJ's and bed hair.

I didn't have any problems finding the secretary's office. It was still at the same place like the last time I was here. Once more I nervously tugged on back bag's straps and knocked feebly on the door. While I waited I wondered if all my fake signatures and documents got through. To get a transfer you need your parents' signature, but seeing as in how my parents would probably be uncooperative, Ray took the honor and forged it all.

It wasn't our first time, really. There have been many school trips that I would have probably missed out if Ray hadn't masterfully signed them. It's not like I didn't ask my mother or father, they just never noticed the little piece of paper sitting on their desk or stuck to the fridge with a note asking if they could sign it. They also never wondered how I got permission to attend all those trips.

"Come in," a warm voice called.

Taking a deep breath I let my worries go for a moment and entered "Hello, I'm Claire Summers, I transfe-" I stopped halfway through the door when I noticed the woman sitting behind the desk. It was Camille, Seth's wife.

"Ah, yes Claire," she smiled at me in welcome "Come in, I have your schedule and everything ready."

I hesitated at the door. Was this okay? She knows my papers aren't valid, and she knows I ran away from home. Was she willing to let me through without telling anyone?

Seeing my hesitation and surprise Camille sighed "I gather no one told you I work here?"

I shook my head.

"Well there's nothing to worry about," she motioned me to come in "Classes are about to start so we need to get this over with before you come in late on your first day of school."

I closed the door behind me and slowly eased in the chair opposite her. I felt like I was sitting in the principal's office ready to get a warning or something.

"You need to get this slips signed and return them in by the end of the day. Here's also your schedule," she hand me a bunch of papers "If any of the classes you signed for are not listed or if there's something extra on then tell me and I'll get it fixed."

I quickly checked my classes and noted nothing amiss "It's fine."

"Good," she smiled brightly at me once more "The application papers for the final exams will be here by the end of the week. Just drop by this Friday and we'll check those too before I send them ahead, 'kay?"

I nodded dumbly again.

"Then that's all for now, you can join your new class now." And I was dismissed just like that.

I picked up my bag and headed for the door. I halted before I left "So everything is okay. _This_ is okay?" I made a hand motion between the two us. I really had to be sure…

"What are you talking about?" she asked sweetly "Everything is in perfect order."

I blinked once, twice and then it hit me. Oh. She was playing as if she knew nothing about me. She was just the ignorant secretary that handles the papers she's given. Nothing more.

"Thank you." I returned a sincere smile and left the office.

**xxx**

It's amazing how much different the atmosphere is in such a small school compared to the one I attended in Chicago. Maybe that's what threw me so off course when I started going to a new school when we moved.

Here, all the students know each other, all the teachers know each other and all the teachers and students know each other. There are barely 15 people in each year so that means they have most of their classes together and most are good friends with each other.

There were 32 people, including me, just in my higher lever Math class back in Chicago. None of which also took Chemistry with me and Ray. There were 35 students in our Chemistry class. That means 64 names that I didn't bother remembering if I count out myself and Ray. And that's just covering Chemistry and Math.

But here, as I went from class to class, I encountered the same people. These were also the people I was friends with before I moved away. When I introduced myself they all greeted me with old familiarity and enthusiasm. I didn't need to fit in, I was already a part of them.

"So your whole family moved back?" asked Mary, who back in the old days was a really good friend of mine. She was showing me the way to our lockers "Where do you live now? You sold your old house, didn't you?"

"Yeah we sold it, but now it's just me," I answered. Since this wasn't exactly a perfect high school some had to share the lockers in a pair. Mary kindly offered hers for me to co-crash in and I gladly accepted "My parents stayed in Chicago. I'm renting a room at the Garage with Quil and Embry. You remember those guys, right?"

Mary's eyebrows rose up in surprise "Those two don't come around that much. I never knew you stayed so close after such a long time." We came to a stop somewhere at the back of the school where the gym was. It wasn't really crowded but I noticed most of our classmates had their lockers here.

I shrugged "It probably wouldn't be this way if it weren't for Sam and Emily, they usually keep everyone together, but now that I'm back it really doesn't feel like all that much has changed."

"Is that a good thing?" asked Mary as she opened the locker's door so I could shove some of my things in.

"Yeah," I nodded with a smile "It's a great thing. Somehow the thought of this place changing scared the hell out of me."

"You're not exactly the type for changes huh?"

"Not really," I shook my head "By the way, how've you been? And your brother? Where is he now?"

"Daniel is studying in Seattle. Some programming stuff, don't ask me what really, I even can't pronounce it," she sighed "But he's doing really good otherwise. My folks are really proud of him and keep nagging me to look up to him all the time."

I tilted my head sideways "But you always looked up to him." I remember Mary always adoring her older brother and wanting to join in anything what he also did.

"And I still do. I'm actually aiming for Peninsula_College since it's closer to home, _but mum and dad still keep rubbing Daniel in my face all the time. It's like they're afraid I'll forgot my goal or something."

"They're just worried," I smiled wistfully as we set a course towards the cafeteria.

Mary sighed again "Annoying more like it." She quickly brightened up after that "So what was life in Chicago like?"

I have no idea. What was it like? No clue at all. What did I do? Nothing much. What were the people like? The usual. What about the big events? I wouldn't know.

If I had moved from Tokyo I would have probably given out the same answers. It's almost sad really, but I have no recollection of anything special. Okay, I do remember that it's slightly enormously bigger than this place, but that's about all. Oh, and the occasional freaky and creepy stuff you can stumble upon on the streets here and there. But I solely blame all that on Ray. He could find weird stuff all over the globe.

I sat among Mary's usual group of friends in the cafeteria. The conversation was lively and joyful but I really didn't bother to join in. Jasmine, who seemed like Mary's best friend, kept trying to include me in their lively chatter. I really appreciated that, and I did join in here and there, but I couldn't bring up my spirits to match theirs.

'_What _was_ life in Chicago like?'_

I pondered some more over that and realized that the place wasn't _all_ that bad. If you're into big cities. But what amazed me more was the fact that it left no bit impression on me.

I'm not that hard to impress, am I?

"Claire!"

All my wondering was knocked right out of me as Alison attacked me in hug from behind. I tried prying her off carefully, but the little bug wouldn't let me go.

"Hey, Ally," I greeted her when she wouldn't let me go. I was trapped in an awkward hug so I only managed to pat her head a little "Where's Mattis?" I tried turning my head in hopes to spot her twin. He might actually get her to let go of me.

"Over there," she loosened her hold on me and pointed towards her brother. I looked up and my hopes for a savior went down the drain. It was hard to miss Mattis' enormous figure sleeping and drooling over the cafeteria table right in the middle of the room.

"What killed him?" I asked curiously.

Ally rolled her eyes "You know how boys can get."

"Yeah," I replied even though Mattis was the only boy sleeping or even looking remotely tired in the room. Then again he might have stayed up all night and played video games with Colin or Brady. Or Embry or Seth.

"Anyway, are you going to take a ride with us today? Mum said you're coming for dinner," Ally squeezed herself next to me on the bench. Other occupants of the table didn't seem bothered by that. Most of the people at my previous school wouldn't let a lower year student joining their table so easily. Even if it was a relative. These guys weren't so bothered. Jasmine even greeted Ally.

I moved a little to give her more space "No sorry, I think I have more classes than you, besides I'm already set with Quil to pick me up."

Ally began to pout.

"But," I continued "We'll be over for dinner."

She jumped in her seat excitedly and latched herself to my arm again. I gave her a half-smile and continued my lunch while listening to her non-stopping chatter about school, friends, family, gum under the table and the weather. I didn't talk, I didn't have to, Ally did all the talking. Charming, that little brat.

**xxx**

Quil was already waiting for me when I got out. He was waiting in his jeep with a sketch pad propped against the steering wheel and his hand floating over the paper in quick and graceful moves.

"Hey," I greeted him as I jumped in the passenger's seat "Sorry, did you wait long?"

"No," he said without even checking his watch "So how was it?"

"Better than I expected," I said as I pushed my bag in the back seats "I filled in the transfer because I need to take the final exams. I only intended to take those without taking actual classes here, but the school wouldn't permit it. I'm actually happy about that, everyone is so great here."

"I'm really glad to hear that," Quil smiled in my direction.

I hastily returned the smile and nodded enthusiastically "And what did you do all day?"

"The usual," he replied "I went to check on some car stuff in Port Angeles – Oh, which reminds me…" Quil reached with one hand for something in the back seat without taking his eyes off the road "I found some great color samples that I thought might look good for your car."

He pulled his hand forward again and dropped something on my lap. I inspected what appeared to be a color catalogue.

"I marked the ones I think would look good with Post-its," he said and then added quickly "You can choose any other color you'd like, of course."

I flipped through the marked pages in wonder. I like all the colors he picked "That's very considerate of you, thanks."

He glanced at my direction and then reached out with one hand to tousle my hair "Anything for you, Claire-bear."

Quil messing up my hair often makes me feel like a kid. But it's a gesture I allow only him to do and it's a gesture that makes me warm with its familiarity.

"Hey, I like this one," I pointed to a certain page after Quil removed his hand.

"Silver?" Quil took a quick glance at what I was pointing to.

"I thought it's grey," I said and lifted the catalogue for closer inspection.

"Yeah, but after we get it polished and all it'll gleam like silver."

"Oh, well no then. I don't like silver," I flipped through the pages again to start looking for something new.

"I didn't know you were gold-over-silver kind of girl," Quil teased me.

"I'm not," I glared at him "I just don't like silver."

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts werewolves."

This is where we almost went spinning off the road. I have no idea what spooked Quil, but luckily he quickly gained control of the car. He laughed nervously "Sorry, that caught me off guard. I thought you said werewolves."

I looked at him "I did."

This time we almost missed a turn. What was wrong with him? Driving into a ditch, off a bridge or down a waterfall is something Ray would normally do if he ever got his driver's license (God forbid). But Quil is usually a good driver.

I narrowed my eyes at him "I know you probably want to laugh, but it's this thing I have after I read the Harry Potter books. I'm smitten with Remus Lupin."

"Smitten?" coughed Quil and my eyes narrowed more. He was probably trying to hold in that laugh. How considerate of him.

I humph-ed "Okay, so it's been years since I last read those, but Remus has had always been my favorite character."

"Remus, the werewolf?" choked Quil.

"No," I said back slightly agitated "Remus, the kindhearted and brave man. The werewolf thing was just a small part of him."

Quil grew silent after that. I did too. When I looked up at him I noticed he wasn't trying to laugh at me, rather he had that far away look. Almost sad.

I poked his side.

"Yeah?" His eyes cleared again as I caught his attention.

I lifted the catalogue "I'm switching to army green."

* * *

Okay, would anyone be interested in a chapter from Quil's point of view? Technically it wouldn't be really from his pov, but it'll be something like ch. 4. Just more Quil and something to understand him (and Claire) better. Or I can simply continue like I did now and add Quil later. Huh.

Now feed me, I eat reviews.


	12. Chapter 11

Hey guys! ... Wait, wait! Don't kill me yet, I have a perfectly good explanation for not updating in such a long time. You see... uh... it's like this... eh... erm... well... it all started with the aliens. And a shovel. And a hamster wheel. So long story short... I have no excuse. Forgive me! (The same goes for review responses. I've lost count to whom I replied or not, from now on I'll just stick to answering questions. Sorry all _)

**IMPORTANT!** **Read this:**

I've given Quil's POV lots of thought and was about to write his chapter, but then my beta said something that made me change the whole plan. As she said_ 'This story is Claire, all Claire..._' I realized I didn't want to change that. _Sunflowers_ is Claire's confusing story and I intend to keep it this way. **BUT!** (yay for the but) Since a lot of you guys were so interested in Quil and I really want to write something about him I decided to write a side-story with various short one-shots mainly revolving around Quil. It'll be nothing big and you won't be missing anything out if you don't read them, but they'll give you some insight of the stuff Claire misses out. I've titled it _Quil's Sketchbook_ and it's already on my profile.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! They really inspire me :) and another thanks to my beta for sticking around despite my bad grammar and giving me the idea for the side-story. You rock!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

A week or so later I found myself getting very accustomed to my new life in La Push. Living with Quil and Embry wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be. I have to hand it to them, they aren't one of those dirty boys who use the floor as their wardrobe or table, they at least picked up their stuff after themselves and knew what a vacuum cleaner was for.

Even so I took it upon myself to do most of the chores around the place. Since my rent was already reduced to half, and another half, with more half on top of that by some weird calculations that Quil made, I wanted to be at least useful by tidying the place or doing the dishes and that kind of stuff. But of course Quil kept sticking his nose into my business and kept telling me that the chores should be split between the three of us. So I cleaned when he wasn't around and later told him Embry did it. And Embry never denied it.

This morning, like every other day, I was the first to rise. Sometimes, if Embry had spent the previous night at a girl's place, he would've beat me to it since he would always get back early in the morning, but not today. He had been sulking over something for the past few days. Quil hinted that the previous girl dumped him and Embry refused to accept it. Arrogant brat.

I was standing outside in the yard between the garage and our little house. I was doing some light stretching exercises to wake myself up. It was just a little past 6 AM and the morning was bright as it could get with the grey clouds.

Sunny was sniffing around something at the edge of the forest a little further away. He was standing by a path that lead (if my memory still serves me right) directly to First Beach.

I straightened up and gazed at that path with longing. I hadn't visited First Beach yet since I got here. I looked back at the house. Surely Quil and Embry wouldn't mind…

I had a couple of flashbacks of them warning me to keep away from the forest again and again, followed by the same warnings from my Aunt and Uncle.

I looked back at the path stubbornly. I know how to take care of myself and I know not to provoke bears or other creatures. I used to camp here with Quil dozens of times and he literally thought me stuff that you can't even find in books.

On second thought, they don't even have to know…

I checked my watch again. It's still early enough if I leave right away. It's a good half an hour walk in one direction to First Beach, but if I ran I could make it back in less than an hour. Not to mention Quil doesn't wake up until you drag him out of bed and Embry still has another good hour before he wakes up.

My feet had a mind of their own as they started walking towards Sunny. My dog was waiting for me like he knew even before I did where we were going. I stopped by his side and bent down to tighten the shoelaces on my sneakers. I don't want a sprained ankle just because my shoes weren't secure. They weren't the best stuff for running around in a forest, but they would do if I tighten them enough.

"C'mon," I patted Sunny's head "We need to hurry."

I set a slow pace at first, but deeper and deeper as we went, the faster I began to run. I zigzagged between trees, jumped over roots, avoided puddles and tried not to trample down ferns. Sunny just zoomed over it all and kept jumping around my feet in pure doggy joy, it's been a while since I took him for a run like this. I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud and risk running headfirst into a tree. I love running as much as Sunny does. It gives me freedom, peace and calmed me down more than anything. There's something exhilarating about pushing your body to the limits. The ache in my legs and the heavy breathing were nothing but a reminder that I was alive. There was nothing to worry about, no obligations, no enemies, friends or family, but the path before me. There were just green trees passing by, the steady sound of Sunny's paws and the feeling of soft earth underneath my feet.

We made it to the beach in better time than I would've hoped. I was breathing hard and my legs were heavy, but the feeling was good. I walked up and down the beach to cool myself down while Sunny splashed around the shore and chased after seagulls.

Finally, I sat down on a big log and let the joy from earlier take over me. I laughed at Sunny's failed attempts to catch one of the birds, so I whistled to him and encouraged him to try more. He later brought me a long stick to throw for him and I didn't hesitate as I flung it in the sea. Sunny ran straight after it and swam with ease in the cold water.

I sat back down at my previous spot and admired the familiar beach. It was the same as ever. The pebbles were rough and smooth, colorful and dull, small and big. The sea was grey as the weather, and you couldn't pinpoint where the sea ended and the sky began. It was cold if you didn't wear a sweater, and at that moment when a cool ocean breeze blew around me, I wished for a small bonfire.

There was no one around besides me, Sunny and a few seagulls. It was the middle of the week and still too early for tourists to come out, but as I checked my watch again I noted that I couldn't afford to stay any longer. Another cool breeze blew around me and I shivered again. Too bad, I wish we could have stayed longer.

I called Sunny back, but just before we left I bent down to pick up a few select green pebbles and stored them in my pocket. I've always liked green pebbles.

It took us a little longer to get back. My feet were tired and one part of the path was uphill, but the main reason for our delay was a mark I noticed in the moss along the way. I wouldn't have noticed it at all if I hadn't pushed away the ferns where I was walking. It was an animal print of some kind, but not like any I have ever seen before. It was big as a bear's, but nowhere near shaped as one. Too narrow, too…

"Sunny, come here," I called.

Sunny's head instantly popped out from between the ferns and quickly came closer, curious at what had caught my attention. He sniffed around the mark I pointed at him, but Sunny didn't find it interesting. He licked my face, wagged his tail and then moved forward to sniff something else.

Sunny is a sniff-o-holic and likes to sniff at _everything__**.**_ He also usually prowls around the forest alone, but he's smart enough not to distance himself too far away from home on his own. This means Sunny has sniffed marks like these before, and chances are they were really close to the house.

Was this the 'danger' everyone has been warning me about?

I looked up around the woods, but nothing was out of the ordinary. As long as I could hear wildlife around me I had nothing to worry about. I took one last look at the mark on the ground and then at Sunny's paw mark right next to it before I continued my way.

I hurried back. I don't know if I was hurrying because I was late, or because the mystery behind me scared me. Sunny's paw mark was round, a typical dog's mark, while the alien mark was narrower. It was shaped exactly like a wolf paw. A _huge_ wolf paw.

**xxx**

I got back to the house just in time. I barely had time to take a shower when Embry ran into the bathroom door. I cringed when the chair holding the door squeaked, but it held its own against the never-knocking Embry.

"Sorry," he called from the other side. I heard his footsteps as he retreated away, probably to the kitchen.

I hurried to quickly dress myself. Then I picked up my dirty sneakers and frowned at them. I should have cleaned them in the wet grass outside while I had the time, but now paper towels and the sink will have to do.

"Morning," I chirped happily to Embry, who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey," he greeted back, looking up from a car magazine "You're kind of late today."

I shrugged and grabbed some toast from the bread basket "I was up late."

Embry didn't think twice over my little lie. He was so engrossed in an article that he probably wasn't even listening. We sat and ate in silence for awhile until I noticed that his eyes weren't even moving over the article. Embry had been staring at the same page for the past 15 minutes.

I kicked him under the table "What's with you?"

Embry looked up unfazed "Do I look like something's wrong?"

"Well duh!" I gestured to his magazine "What's the article about?"

Embry blinked stupidly and then looked down to read the title "R8-aping e-Tron phenomenon."

"Right," it was my turn to look stupidly "And what is it about?"

"I don't know, I haven't finished reading it yet."

"Em, you've been staring at the same paragraph for the last 15 minutes. You haven't even _started_ reading it, now what's wrong?"

Embry pushed the magazine away, and grabbed a piece of toast from my plate and began munching on it in a sulking mood "I don't want to talk about it."

I kicked him under the table again. Or at least I think it was him, I might as well been hitting the leg of the table the whole time "Stop pouting and just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm not pouting!" He protested.

I ignored him "Quil said something about a girl dumping you. Is that the problem? You usually change girls faster than your underwear, what was so special about this one?"

"That's just it!" He threw his hands in the air with a big look of disbelief on his face "She dumped me. _She_ dumped _me_."

"Don't tell me you've never been dumped before." I chuckled.

Embry grew silent and refused to meet my gaze. Then it dawned to me... Oh. My. God. He really has never been dumped before! I began laughing. Hard. I didn't even try hiding it. Embry was actually blushing, and when I didn't stop he began glaring "It's not that funny."

"Yes, it is," I snickered while slowly trying to calm myself "The invincible Embry finally got a taste of his own medicine."

He looked annoyed "It's really not that big deal, I was going to dump her anyway, but she beat me to it."

"Then what is the problem?"

"_Why_did she dump me?" He asked in a frustrated tone while mussing up his hair.

I leaned back in my chair and for a few moments watched his frustration grow "You know girls usually have reasons for dumping a guy," I snapped my fingers "You probably slept with her best friend."

He shook his head.

"Her sister?" I tried again.

"No," he said annoyed "I may have had a lot of girls, but I never cheated on any of them."

"Well, did_she_ give you a reason then?"

Embry snorted "That's just it. She accused me of cheating. I had no idea what she was talking about and when I asked her to explain she went completely mad. She threw things at me. They hit me. She screamed a lot. Mainly in my ear. And shouted about some nonsense how I smelled like another woman." Embry then deliberately sniffed his armpits "That woman needs to get her nose checked. I smell just fine."

"Did you tell her that?"

"What? To get her nose checked? Yes, she threw a phonebook at me right after that."

"No," I sighed tiredly "Did you at least try explaining yourself?"

"There was no time to explain anything. She threw me out," he pouted again.

This is what a blow to a man's ego does to them. They pout.

"If she said you smelled like another woman then there has to be something to that. Maybe Emily changed the washing detergent and your clothes smelled differently to her."

"No, that's not it," Embry took a sniff of his freshly cleaned shirt.

"Well I have no idea what else-" I stopped in midsentence when I thought of something. I stood up and walked around the table to take a few sniffs of Embry's hair. My brows furrowed as I glared at him "Have you been using my shampoo?"

By the look on his face… yes. Yes, he was.

"But… it smells so niiiice." He smiled and batted his eyelashes. Puppy eyes did nothing to me. I smacked him over the head.

"There's your answer," I grumbled. Embry scratched the back of his head where I hit him. That hit probably tickled him while I secretly cursed over my hurt hand.

"That's not fair. I can never find any of that nice scented stuff in the men's department."

"That's because vanilla and orchid mist is not exactly a 'manly smell'."

"That's not fair," he fumed "If I like the shampoo, who's to say I can't use it?"

"I do as long as you keep using _my_shampoo." I snapped back "You can smell like roses for all I care, just get your own bottle."

A sly grin crossed over Embry's face. He scooted his chair closer to mine and leaned closer to me than I would normally find comfortable "Say Claire," he spoke in a seductive voice "You're a girl, right?"

"Embry, please remove yourself from my line of sight or I'll be forced to remove you myself," I growled under my breath.

This seemed to encourage him as he smiled boyishly and leaned even closer "I just need a little favor."

I stuck my hand in an open jar of jam by my side, took a fistful and quickly pulled it out to smear it over Embry's face. I made sure to brush my fingers over his hair too. I got up to wash my hands and then calmly sat down again to finish my breakfast.

When I finished I turned to him "You were saying?"

He hadn't moved a muscle since, but now he stuck out his tongue and licked the side of his lips "That's Kim's jam you just smeared all over my face. Do you have any idea how hard it is to steal one of those from under Jared's watchful eyes?"

"You were sitting too close and I don't like people who get too close to me," I replied and grabbed the jam again "Now, you keep your distance or the whole jar goes bye-bye. Over your head or on the floor, I don't really care."

Embry quickly pushed himself back as if I was holding a bomb "Spare the jam, kid. That stuff is priceless."

"I thought so," but I still didn't let go of the jam "What did you want?"

"Buy me that shampoo. I can't buy it without looking like an idiot buying women's body wash products," Embry whipped a finger over his face to smear some jam on it and then licked it clean.

"Yes, because then you _really_ would look like an idiot."

"What's that suppose to mean?" He asked while still smearing and licking his fingers.

"Nothing," I sighed. Standing up I went to rinse my dirty dishes.

Embry let the matter go by checking his watch "You better haul Quil's ass out of bed or you're gonna be late for school."

I nodded "I'll give him 5 more minutes. By the way when can I get my car back?"

"Tomorrow," replied Embry "Quil still wants to update your GPS and finish some programming."

"He doesn't need to do that. You guys already did too much."

"He wants to," he said as if that's all the reason I needed.

I turned my back to the counter so I was facing Embry again "And where am I going to get the money to repay you for it all? Look I really appreciate you guys doing all of this for me but I-"

"Who said anything about paying?" grinned Embry "This is just another birthday gift."

"It's too much," I argued. There's no way I wasn't paying for the paint job. I don't know how these guys were doing financially, but that stuff wasn't exactly cheap.

"But it's a birthday present."

I narrowed my eyes "From who?"

"Quil," tried Embry.

"His present was that trip the other day," I pointed out.

"Oh, then it's from Jake!"

"He got me the cake."

"Then… me!"

I shook my head "You never buy presents for anyone. Or for any event."

"Well you know," he winked at me "I like you."

I gagged "Nice try."

"No really," Embry jumped on his feet suddenly "It's a present from all of us."

"You're just using my birthday, which was almost three weeks ago by the way, as an excuse to get me off aren't you?" I poked him in the chest "This is like that argument over the rent all over again. I don't like you guys going all easy on me. I can't be independent if you guys keep doing this stuff all the time."

"But you're barely eighteen," reasoned Embry "You're not suppose to worry about stuff like this yet."

"Why not?" I argued back "It's not like I can stay with you guys forever. I'll probably move out during the summer, find a real job and maybe try out college. How am I to get ready for that if you guys won't let me take care of myself."

Embry staggered "You'll be moving out?"

"I don't know yet," I looked away frustrated "Probably. I like it here, really I do. But I can't rely on everyone here forever. I don't know what I want yet, I'm not asking for much, but I just need to settle my life. Find my way, you know."

"Have you talked about this with Quil yet?" Embry crossed his arms over his chest and stood there looking like a prefect picture of a father asking if I had mother's permission yet.

"No," I said slightly irritated "Why do I have to talk to Quil? I still have months to figure things out."

Embry gave me a measured look. He tried catching my eye, but I kept looking away. I had a feeling he was trying to really look at me. Look right through me.

We stood in silence for a few more moments and then he asked "Why are you really here, Claire?"

He was the first to ask me that. And I dreaded this question.

"If you planned on just moving away again, why did settle here in the first place? We all thought you were planning to stay, so why put us all through this? What are you really looking for?"

There was so much more meaning behind Embry's words with many more twisted questions, but even though I could feel them, I didn't understand them. I grabbed hold of the counter behind me and bowed my head still not looking at him.

What was I looking for here?

I thought my primary motive was family. I really missed my Aunt and Uncle, and I missed the warm feeling of belonging somewhere. As soon as I got here I felt like I accomplished my mission, like this was it and this is what I was looking for. But as days began to roll by, the same feeling like before began nagging me at the back of my head again. Lost, missing. I miscalculated my motive, but now I didn't know what I was looking for.

"I don't know," I said earnestly looking up at Embry "I honestly don't know why I'm here. I thought I knew at first, but now I realize that wasn't it. Or at least that wasn't my primary motive. I love this place and I love the people here, but…" I trailed off not knowing how to finish.

"But it's not enough," finished Embry for me.

I nodded "It's so confusing. Sometimes I think I should take a few steps back to see the whole picture, but the picture is so big that no matter how much I walk backwards I still only see a small snippet of it. I just don't know, what is it with this place?"

"Maybe," said Embry watching me carefully "maybe it's not the place that's pulling you here."

"What?" I asked confused. I was about to ask him more when suddenly a miracle of all miracles happened. Quil staggered out of his room all on his own. And it wasn't even 8 AM yet.

Embry whistled in amazement and I happily jumped to Quil's side to help him to the table. The previous day he had by accident ended up sitting on the toilet seat while buttering soap on his bread with a toothbrush. The conversation between Embry and I was instantly forgotten as I guided Quil around the food and tableware on the table. I thought I saw Quil catch Embry's gaze and something pass between them, but I quickly discarded that as Quil started using a fork to eat his cereal.

**xxx**

"Claire, can I have a word with you? It'll just take a minute."

Last period just ended and most of the students were already out of the classroom. I motioned to Mary and Jasmine to go on without me while I turned to my biology teacher who called. Strictly speaking she wasn't really a teacher, but an apprentice. She didn't look like a teacher either since she couldn't be any older than 25, but since the original teacher took a maternity leave, Ms. Picklestein took her position for the time being.

I gathered my books and moved closer to her table in the front. I shifted nervously, but otherwise remained quiet as I waited for her to begin speaking.

She gave me a brisk smile before she attacked the chaos of papers on her table obviously searching for something for me. Twice she huffed and pushed her glasses higher on her nose, and twice she battled her bushy hair away from her face before she finally pushed a paper in my hands.

I looked down at it and then back at her. It was my report paper for an assignment. Why did she return it to me?

"There's nothing wrong with it," she spoke quickly after seeing my troubled face "You picked a very interesting topic and I just wanted to make sure it wasn't too big for you. I know I'm pushing you with this assignment seeing how the rest of your classmates had the whole year and worked on it in pairs, but I can only give you a mark from a research assignment. I just wanted to give you a suggestion to narrow it down a bit, you know. Pick a topic form within a topic and do some little research on that. You don't have to make it much, just make it good, 'kay?"

I nodded silently and looked back at my report.

"Don't worry," she continued "Concentrate on something that you find interesting and write about that. When I mark you I'll put in consideration how little time you had. Do you think you can come up with a narrower topic by next class? Maybe I can even direct you to some literature," I looked at her surprised. She was really trying to help me out with this.

"Uh…" I trailed off "I'll think about it." I've been dreading over this whole research assignment for weeks now. While the rest of my class had written 25 pages and more per group, I on the other hand, had nothing. And there wasn't much time to spare.

"Great!" she grinned. She made it seem like the whole thing wasn't a big deal. In fact she even began writing something on a little green sticky note and handed it to me "You'll find some good references in those books, there should be a few copies in the school library. And if you have any trouble, don't hesitate to ask me."

I took the little sticky note while quietly thanking her. I picked up my bag and was ready to leave when she called me again.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," she moved a big pile of documents away and pulled another paper from underneath it. When I looked at it closely I noticed it was a permission slip for a school trip "We're going to a little trip two weeks from now and I need your parents or guardian to sign this. It's not obligatory, but I recommend it. Kids love it every year," she encouraged.

Surprisingly, my hands didn't shake when I took the slip. Go hands! Still, I felt a sudden haste to leave as I stuffed the little paper in my bag not caring to fold it neatly. I thanked her again and quickly left the classroom barely straining myself not to sprint out. I barely heard her 'See you tomorrow!' when I was already rushing down the hall.

If Ray were here he would have signed that without a second thought and a strong argument why I shouldn't worry. But since Ray was not here I was worrying and also too chicken to do it myself. On second thought, I could just skip the whole trip and spare myself all the trouble. I wasn't that much into biology anyway.

I sighed tiredly as I hurried outside, I spotted Quil's jeep not far away and headed his way. "Hey," I said to him as I closed the car door "Sorry for the wait, I had to take care of something with my biology tea…"

I trailed off as I noticed Quil's rigid pose. His jaw was set, his lips in a hard line and his hands were shaking with such force that the steering wheel vibrated with them. "Quil?" I asked carefully.

His head snapped in my direction so fast I didn't even catch the motion. His eyes weren't cold, hard or angry. But his stare was heavy, suffocating. It made me lean away from him a little.

"You were in the forest!" He snapped suddenly "Alone! And you went without telling anyone!" He wasn't yelling either, but his tone was harsh. I scooted back a little.

"What?" I asked stupidly. Seriously, I couldn't come up with anything better to say. My mind just kept screaming 'How the _hell_ did he find out?'

"You went all the way to First Beach!" He said snappishly again. His hands also gave a sudden jerk that for a second there I feared he would break the steering wheel. This time as I scooted backwards my back hit the car door. I was trapped.

I knew better than trying come up with a lie. Quil was too sure of himself, he didn't doubt or question me where I went, lying would only worsen the whole deal. Instead I just stayed quiet. Like always.

"God Claire!" he exclaimed "How many times did we warn you? How many times did we tell you not to wander? How many times did we tell you to stay out of the freakin' forest!"

Okay, NOW he was angry. Maybe I should have said something while he was calmer. It seemed the more he talked, the more he agitated himself. Maybe it's just me, but I think the whole jeep began shaking with him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled quickly when he didn't stop his ranting. I didn't move from my position against the door and I made sure to keep my head bowed and look resigned.

He stopped in midsentence when I muttered my apology. I think that's when he noticed me again and that's also when the jeep stopped shaking. He suddenly took a complete 180° turn in character. Quil shut up, turned on the car and drove us off. This time it looked like he was the one who was pressed against the door, far away from me as possible. It was he who wouldn't look me, and it was he who looked resigned now.

"I'm sorry," I said again "I know I shouldn't have gone without telling anyone, but I hadn't had time to visit First Beach until now and I really wanted to go."

"You could have asked me or Embry to go with you. You know we would have gladly taken you there," he spoke so quietly I had to strain my ears to hear him even though he was sitting right next to me.

I shook my head "It was too early for either of you to be up yet and I didn't want to bother you."

"Claire," sighed Quil in a more normal tone again "You never bother me. Never. So stop being afraid of demanding something once in a while. I would have gladly gone with you." This was an old argument between the two of us. I'm used to doing things alone and not used of depending on someone. Quil, on the other hand, kept insisting on helping me. He kept insisting on being included even though I thought the things I did bored him. Heck, he even watches Discovery Channel with me.

It's nice. I admit it, I like him around all the time. Even though I like my own peace and quiet, Quil is the sole exception who never bothers me if he hovers around too much.

But he always has loads of work to do and he shouldn't be spending it on babysitting me all the time. Quil is _Quil_. And I'm little Claire. Quil will forever be the big important adult with big important responsibilities, while I'll be the little squirt who always hangs onto the hem of his shirt. Maybe I don't think myself worthy of his time, patience and attention. Or maybe I just hero-worship him too much, but I know he must have tons of more important things to do on Friday nights than watch Monkey Business with me on TV.

"It looked like a good idea at time. I like running in the mornings and I've missed a lot of it since I moved here, today just proved to be an ideal opportunity." I saw him tense as he was about to start another rant, but I quickly beat him to it "I stayed on the path. I still remember it so I didn't move too far away from it. I know better than to go deeper in the forest alone, and besides Sunny was with me all the time. If there were any dangerous wild animals near he would have warned me, and if I had fallen in a ditch somewhere he would have gone to you for help."

Quil still didn't like that. It was clearly written all over his face, but he was willing to accept it and stay calm about it. He did not stop himself from giving me another warning though. And I took it with a smile.

**xxx**

"Oh, goodie! You're still alive!" was Embry's greeting as soon as we got home "I thought Quil has by now buried your body somewhere in Forks."

"Nah," I plopped down next to him on the couch "I'm too quick for him, right Quil?" I looked up at Quil who came in behind me, but he didn't seem to hear me. He was looking at Embry with those gloomy eyes like the joke he just said meant something more to him.

Embry sobered up at Quil's look and gently tugged on a lock of my hair "Seriously kid, don't scare us like that."

I pushed his hand away with mild irritation "How did you guys find out anyway? You were both still asleep."

Embry leaned back and tapped his nose "We always know."

I gave him a funny look. What did he mean with that? "This Big Brother business is starting to creep me out. Where do you hide the cameras?"

"Behind the bathroom mirror and in your room," Embry yawned "That way we make sure you aren't doing any illegal stuff in there."

Quil knocked him over the head before I could "Stop teasing her."

Embry grabbed his head in pain "Sorry," he apologized at me "Would it help if I say that I find that little mole on your lower back very erotic?"

I stared at him in silent horror. I wanted to tackle him down myself, but again Quil beat me to it. He hit Embry twice this time and hauled him off the couch and away from me "Stop kidding her already. Don't make me call Leah to kick your ass."

"Oh?" Embry wriggled his eyebrows at him "Afraid you can't do it yourself?"

"No," snorted Quil "She'll just kick my ass if I take away her favorite punching bag. Better safe than sorry."

Embry nodded and looked seriously sorry for himself. He finally left the room, but not before giving me one last wink. I spluttered in my seat for a while before Quil finally took pity of me "It's nothing like that, he just remembers that from all the times we went to the beach together. Don't worry."

I calmed down, but still silently fumed inside since Embry always knows how to get to me. I only finally forgot about the whole thing when Quil took the seat Embry previously occupied and picked up the remote to start skipping channels "What do you want to watch?"

I moved closer to him to lean my head on his shoulder, a silent thanks and show of gratitude for standing up for me. I watched the programs flew bye until something finally caught my attention "Hey, look Pokemon!"

**xxx**

It wasn't until later that night when all the lights were out and I was deeply snuggled under my soft blanket that I began thinking again what exactly they have been warning me about. I turned on my side to shift closer to the edge of the bed. I was looking down at Sunny sleeping in his basket. I gently touched his muzzle before I traced a finger from his nose up between his eyes and ears, over his head and between his shoulder blades all the way to his spine. He wagged his tail and rolled on his back encouraging me to give him a tummy rub. As one of his paws dangled in the air I set my palm against it. His doggy pads were rough against my skin, but my palm was twice the size of his.

I grew up with tribe stories filled with wolves as our protectors, brothers, and never as our enemy. I've never heard of a story with a wolf gone bad. Wolves were entwined with our everyday life here. Every house had at least one wolf ornament or a talisman, every handmade product a hidden signet with a wolf somewhere. Even in this little place you could find a few. For instance, Embry and Quil kept a little wolf talisman under the sink in the bathroom as a protection charm against a leaking pipe. Apparently it worked.

I thought back on this morning and I wondered if that enormous paw print I saw was dangerous. The more I turned my palm around Sunny's paw, the more I though what a big paw like that would look like against my hand. I tried connecting the dots, I tried picturing a big enormous wolf standing over me, threatening me, but somehow that didn't fit. I can't fear a wolf.

What was the danger then?

* * *

I'm guessing this story is going along slowly, but I really don't want to rush things so... yeah. Next chapter will be fun, something you guys have already been guessing about :) Stay tuned and tell me how you liked it till now.

Review please? I'm a greedy little Gollum-like creature who looks at her reviews as 'my precious'. Pathetic, I know.


	13. Chapter 12

I am alive! College is a potato but it appears exam stress is good for me when it comes to dragging myself in front of the computer and finishing a chapter. I knew college was bound to be useful for something.

Happy New Years, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Moon movie release and all the other important events I've missed. Hope everyone had fun!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Make it stop. Please, make it stop.

Someone, anyone… make it stop. Please.

I ground my teeth together, shut my eyes tight and curled myself into a little ball under my blankets. With my head burrowed under the pillow, my hands over my ears and still it didn't stop.

It was horrible.

I moaned and twisted and turned under my covers trying to forget, trying not to hear…

It sounded like a caged animal, hurt and knowing it's end was near, trying to find a way out, begging, calling. No matter how much I pressed my hands to my ears the horrifying sound still pierced me. Like a clawed hand scraping against a blackboard. Slowly, surely, again and again…

"Argh! That's it!"

I threw my pillow over the room and stood up with a growl. My eye twitched as I noticed the little clock on my bedside table. It read 2:55 AM. I was tempted to throw it at the wall and fling some other furniture after it, but no. My nostrils flared as I pulled my door open violently. I saved my energy for something else.

While crossing the hall I was too agitated to notice the light on in the kitchen, or the voices coming from there. I was too tired and pissed off to concentrate on anything but my goal. And I only saw one thing.

Embry's door.

Before ripping his door apart I noticed his boots lying in the middle of the hallway. Perfect. I grabbed one boot, wrenched his door open, took aim and threw it with all my might.

_Thud._

_Crash._

I definitely hit something but that sure wasn't Embry. It sounded like I broke something, a flower pot maybe or his grandmother's urn, but at that moment I didn't care. The mother fucker was still snoring like a banshee!

I reached for the other boot and this time aimed more to the right. I threw his bigfoot-sized boot with the strength of a mammoth that wanted nothing but revenge. And sleep.

_Smack._

"Ouch!"

Bull's eye.

"Claire, what the-?"

"Stop snoring!" I growled over Embry's sleepy confusion "Get some help from a clinic or I swear to god I _will _stuff some socks down your throat!"

"But-"

"And they will not be a clean pair!" With that final exclamation I slammed his door shut and left a baffled Embry behind.

I stalked back to my room and quickly crawled under my covers. I hugged my pillow and sighed in pure bliss as the silence surrounded me. I cuddled my pillow closer with a smile. It probably didn't take me even a minute to fall back to sleep.

Ray once mentioned that I get ridiculously violent when woken up in the middle of the night. I refuse to believe that. I just like my sleep full and without interruptions. And I take whatever means necessary to achieve that. Maybe if I were in a clearer state of mind I would have asked Embry what he was doing up til now. His snoring siren only turns on when he just falls asleep and turns off a good half an hour or so later. Why was he up so late on a weekday? Also, if I were more conscious of my surrounding, I would have noticed the light in the kitchen. I would have stoped to turn it off and then noticed the voices. I would have stood there and listened. And realize.

But I didn't. Blissfully ignorant I turned under my soft blankets and dreamed of confused colors and voices.

Maybe it was better this way.

**A/N: Just want to remind everyone that I wrote a missing scene for this part. I've added it to my other story **_**Quil's Sketchbook**_** (check my profile) if you're interested. It's no biggie if you leave it out, I wrote it for those who want to know more about what's going on with Quil :) Enjoy!**

**xxx**

"Wow, Uncle Jake, nice crib," I whistled in amazement at his and Renesmee's tastefully decorated new little house.

They have been inviting me over for ages and only now the opportunity seemed to strike as I got to tag along with Quil and Embry for some male quality time. Embry took the liberty to give me a grand tour as if he owned the place. He seemed to be set on pointing out every wall or shelf he had helped to build and without which this house probably wouldn't be standing. Quil took the liberty to follow us and whisper every error Embry made and every spot that needed to be repaired because of it.

"Like it?" smiled Jacob.

"Very much," I nodded.

Their house stood a little away from the main populated area in La Push. It was very close to the boarder, in Forks almost. It wasn't very big or very small. It was spacious and very homey, something that could be achieved only with someone who had a good eye for interior design. It fit them well.

"Well, the boys built it of course," smiled Renesmee as she put a glass of juice before me on the coffee table "And my grandmother decorated the whole place when it was finished."

"Your grandmother?" I asked surprised. Somehow it was hard to picture a gray old granny with a sketch of this place in one hand and a pencil in the other as she ordered people around how to move the furniture.

Renesme smiled softly "Yes, she's holding up quite well despite her age."

Something like a cough and snicker escaped from Quil and Embry by my side. I gave them a funny look, but then turned back to my host as she explained how her Grandmother loved decorating and how she's decorated every place she's ever lived at. By the way Renesmee was explaining it, it sounded like her grandparents have moved quite a lot, but by the way she described them as very lively couple they also sounded young. I wasn't really sure how old Renesmee was, she didn't look much older than me, couldn't be past 25, so I judged her Grandmother to be around 60-ish. Nice.

"And did you know Quil designed the whole house?" Jacob smiled as he looked around the room fondly "He outlined every wall, window and railing."

"Really?" I looked at Quil with surprise. I remember seeing some house designs in his sketchbook, but I never knew he took it this serious.

Quil shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back of his neck looking slightly embarrassed "It's no big deal and it's not that great anyway. Some ideas didn't work out-"

"Oh hush, Quil," scolded him Renesmee "You did a wonderful job. Just because Jacob couldn't get a mini indoor swimming pool on the second floor that does not mean it was your fault."

Quil nodded, but still seemed somehow sheepish about it so Embry thought it was his duty to brighten him up. "Cheer up, man," he slapped him on the back "I'm sure when you and your little lady here move in your big dream house, it'll stand even through an apocalypse."

What?

Quil's head snapped up and gave Embrya sharp glare. Jacob straightened up and gave me a side glance much like Renesmee standing a little away, but both remained silent.

What?

"I… uh… I mean… well… you know," stuttered Embry with wild hand gestures.

Seriously. What? Why did everone suddenly got so worked up?

I sat back in my seat and rose an eyebrow at Embry. He started stuttering even more. By the strained and nervous look in his eyes he looked like he might snap any moment now. I took pity on him.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

I kept my eyes on Embry "What are you so nervous about?"

"Well… you know," he looked unsure and gestured to Quil. When I blankly stared back at him he asked "What?"

"That's what I should ask. Geez, what's with you always making people uncomfortable."

Embry looked lost "What are you talking about?"

"You're always poking fun at me, but at least leave Quil alone." I replied strictly before turning towards Quil with a honest smile "And why did you never mention you had a girlfriend? I can understand why you would want to keep her away from Embry, but I at least would like to meet her. It's really frustrating how much I missed out on while I was gone so don't keep me in the dark." I paused "Not you too."

It's hard to explain the expression that crossed Quil's face then. I expected him to turn slightly embarrassed or something, but Quil just looked at me... sad?

"Yeah, well you know how our little Quil gets all shy around the ladies!" Embry jumped in with a nervous laugh. "I tried teaching him some of my dashing good moves but Quil always was the awkward sort. This little damsel that I have yet to meet myself must be one lucky-"

"Embry stop," Quil's angry voice cut him off "Claire, don't listen to him, it's not like-"

"What she's like?" I suddenly piped up oblivious to Quil's strained look and Embry's nervous rambling. Quil opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

It was Jacob then who asked me "What do _you _think she's like?" I tilted my head in Jake's direction. He was grinning at me but the tone in his voice was serious. Has Quil introduced her to him yet?

"Hmmm," I looked back at Quil. Embry was peeking from behind his shoulder with an eager look on his face and kept winking at me. "Someone small and delicate," I began "Someone you can protect and someone who needs protecting. Ooooh, she's probably fair headed too! With long light hair and bright eyes. You know, that cute and cuddly type? What else?" I gave him another look over "Definitely a romantic type, she probably loves reading romance novels and is afraid of heights. She's all about sunshine and smiles, talkative, definitely a cat person, a literature major probably and, and, and… creative? I think I'm out of ideas."

A moment of silence followed and then…

"Sweet dear mother, Jesus and Kim's jam," was all that Embry managed to say while Jacob and Quil just stared at me.

I grinned "I got it right?"

"Not by-" started Embry, but then Renesmee cut in "Claire, what's your favorite movie?"

The sudden change of topic confused me slightly but I answered nevertheless "Die Hard. All of them. We must have watched those countless of times at Aunt Emily's place."

"What about your favorite subject at school?"

"Definitely gym class. I'm also good with Math, but I don't really like it."

Renesme nodded politely. She then touched Jacob's hand as if she was about to say something to him, but didn't really say anything. Jake just looked up at her and nodded. I wonder if this is one of those cheesy love things when you just look at your soul mate and simply know what the other is thinking or asking. Heh, creepy.

I hadn't noticed Embry coming around to my place where I was sitting and then hugged me close "So you really think that's what Quil's perfect girl looks like?"

"Do you have a better idea?" I struggled under his strong hold not liking it "Get off!"

Embry's hands instantly dropped to his sides when Quil stood up "Claire, that's not true."

I shifted my glaring gaze from Embry to him "What do you mean?"

"What you just described," he motioned to me "That's not true. All of it."

"Oh," was all I managed to say before jumping in my seat with excitement "Then will I get to meet her? Don't worry, I'll put in a good word or two for you."

"No," sighed Quil "It's not like that, you got it all wrong. Embry gave you the wrong idea."

I looked him curiously. We weren't Jacob and Renesmee, I couldn't guess what he was thinking just by looking at him, but the way he was returning my gaze I gathered he wanted me to figure it out on my own.

What? What did he want me to know?

Then suddenly it hit me like out of the blue. I looked at him, I mean, I _really _looked at him and my gaze softened with realization. My heart went out for him. After all this time Quil has…

"I understand."

He looked at me unsure "You do?"

"Yes," I said "I'm sorry I haven't realized after all this time. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you, and I'm really sorry if I had offended you in any way, but please know that I'm with you on this."

"You are?" he asked still skeptical.

"Yes," I verified with the most warmest smile I could muster. Gosh, this really must not have been easy for him.

Quil took one step closer to me, then another and another. He still looked unsure. He reached with one hand towards me which I gladly took. I then launched myself at him and hugged him with all my might. Tentatively he put his hands around me "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment."

I smiled up at him "It's okay now, we'll figure it out. It must have been very hard on you coming out so suddenly."

He froze "Coming out?"

"Yeah," I continued smiling in hopes to ease him as much as I could "Don't worry I already have a friend who's gay. Hey, I can set you two guys up if you'd want! Thought I'm not sure if he's into guys taller than him, but I'm sure he would give it a try."

Quil stared down at my bright smile with a gobsmacked expression. Needless to say I have never been more wrong in my life.

**xxx**

Embry didn't stop laughing until a few days later. He was laughing at me in the morning. He laughed when I got back from school. And I could hear his laughter before I went to sleep.

Yes, he found my mistake _that_ hilarious.

I have never been more happy to see my Aunt Leah than on that Saturday morning when she ran into our peaceful breakfast time completely uninvited and mindless to knocking or ringing the doorbell. She strutted into our little kitchen with an air of importance and a glare directed in Embry's direction before he even noticed her. I looked up at my savior with adoration and before anyone even managed to greet her she had already insulted Embry "Smack that fugly expression off your face and what's with the weird noises you're making?"

It was the first time in days that Embry finally stopped snickering in my direction. He looked at her, opened his mouth to fire an even insult back, noticed Tihomir silently entering the room, shut his mouth and went back to his breakfast. Sulking.

"Hey," I grinned at the two "Morning! Want some breakfast?"

Tihomir politely declined while Leah dug into the bread basket without a second thought. She also poured herself a healthy portion of Embry's cereal mindless to his glare.

"And to what do we owe this honor of your holy presence?" asked Embry through grinded teeth still not taking his eyes off his cereal box.

"We're here to talk to Claire," said Leah with a mouthful of bread, butter and Kim's jam. She swallowed and asked me "What are you doing today, kid?"

"I had nothing planed," I said while smearing peanut butter and jelly on a piece of bread and then slipping it on Quil's plate. "Did you have something on mind?"

"Actually yeah," replied Leah "I was wondering if you would want to be my bridesmaid? I have one more spot open and I would really love it if you'd do it."

"Bridesmaid?" I asked surprised "You want me to be your bridesmaid?"

Who in their right state of mind would want me to be their bridesmaid?

"Yes, of course," Leah nodded.

Apparently she would.

"We're on our way to Seattle, I have some dress fittings to do today and Tim still needs a decent tux. I already have the bridesmaid dresses picked out and measured, but then I realized I also wanted you there with me so, if you're in, you can join us today and we can get your dress done in no time. There's still time before the wedding."

There were a few things that crossed my mind at that moment. First, I only now noticed that Leah has nicknamed her fiancé Tihomir, Tim. Second, I just realized their wedding was only a few weeks away (judging from the calendar in Emily's kitchen with the 29th circled and _L + T_ written under it). And third, I didn't know they were engaged in the first place!

Ray was right, I _do_ need to start paying more attention to people.

"What do you think? Do you want to do this?"

"I don't know," I said earnestly "I don't wear dresses and I'm awfully awkward went it comes to this stuff. I'll probably fall over in the middle of the ceremony, break my nose and ruin the whole thing. Can't I be the flower-girl or something easier?"

Leah laughed "I wouldn't exactly peg you as the clumsy type, Claire. I'm sure you'll do fine. Even in a dress which, by the way, I haven't seen you in since you were five. Which," she turned to Quil and Embry with a death glare "I probably have you two to thank for turning her into a tomboy."

The boys looked away sheepishly while I wondered if being a tomboy was a bad thing. I never gave much thought to it until now.

"And besides, the flower-girl positions are already taken by Paul and Rachel's little girls. _Little_ girls, being the key word here as you're not so little anymore, Claire," reasoned Leah.

I wondered and pondered for a while, meanwhile everyone consumed their breakfast. Leah, seeing my struggle, tried another approach "All the bridesmaids walk down the aisle in pairs and I'm sure Tim wouldn't mind if you pick your own groomsman if you'd feel more comfortable that way."

I looked at Tihomir who til now has been silently sipping his glass of water. He gave me a tiny crooked smile and nodded his head.

I looked at Quil and gently tugged at the sleeve of his shirt "You'd go with me?"

A wide smile stretched over his face before he answered "Of course, Claire."

_Of course._

I wonder why everyone else had such similar smiles on their faces after I asked.

**xxx**

Tihomir, despite his quiet and calm appearance, drives like a wacko. Most of the ride to Seattle I was afraid to look at the speedometer. And what scares me most is the way he does it.

He drives an old black 1967 Chevy Impala and must take really good care of it since the car is in great shape. He also must have tweaked the engine because there's no way it would normally withstand his crazy maneuvers. I heard several cars honking in annoyance as he zig-zagged his way past them on the highway. He had his window rolled down, his left arm casually propped on the door while he only steered with his right hand. To make the picture perfect he wore a pair of 70's styled sunglasses and was blasting AC/DC's Highway to Hell on his cassette player.

Yes, it appears that in the 21th century cassettes are still playable.

I felt like I was watching a movie. Or more like being in a movie. I kept looking through the back window almost expecting a trail of police cars chasing us, and at the same time wondered if there was a body hidden in the trunk.

I really should stop watching those kinds of movies.

Later on, after Leah pushed Tihomir into some tuxedo rental store to find himself a tux, she dragged me to a fancy swirly over the top glittery boutique full of ribbons and flowers and dresses and giggling saleswomen and… oh I'm getting a headache.

"Don't look so threatened, Claire," Leah assured me as she and one of the saleswomen pushed me into a little dressing room "I want to get this over with as soon as possible too. We'll be done in no time."

I looked at the fabric dangling from the hanger into which I was supposed to change. I picked up the dress and turned it around in wonder. Funny, I didn't know which side was front and which the back.

Oh yeah, this might take a while.

"You really are a wonder," Leah laughed after I failed to put on the dress myself. After 20 minutes of struggling and swearing I feebly asked for her help. She helped me get in, did my zipper and smoothed out the wrinkles. Positioning me in front of the mirror she asked "Well, what do you think?"

I was stuffed into a simple beige dress that went a little past my knees. I glared at the strapless wonder that annoyed me to no end as I kept pushing it up. My short hair was messy and completely out of order, but that didn't stop Leah from trying to smooth it down into some nonexistent style.

Quite frankly, I looked like that kid from The Jungle Book trying to play dress up. And failing.

Leah grinned as she leaned on the wall and gave me a long look-over "This is more fun than I imagined."

I glared at her.

"Don't take this the wrong way," she grinned wider as she pushed me out in the hands of the vicious fake-smile-saleswomen "It's just nice to see that I'm not the only one who has to suffer through this."

"Then why put up with it in the first place?" I asked. A hand with shiny red claws pulled me up to stand on a high chair. I gulped when she pulled out a meter and a bunch of pins.

Leah sat on a fluffy white sofa opposite of me clearly enjoying herself "Tim's family is very old fashioned and want the whole ceremony. Not to mention they also want the whole family there."

"I thought he was from Romania."

"He is," nodded Leah "The whole family is flying all the way from Europe just to witness it."

I rose my eyebrows at that "Wow, that's persistent. How many people are we talking about?"

"Luckily, Tim managed to pursue his mother in only inviting close family."

"That doesn't sound so bad – ouch!" I hissed as I got stabbed by one of the pins. The woman manhandling me muttered a quick 'sorry' and continued her work. I found it easier not to look than see all those shiny needles trying to stab me.

"Yeah, that wouldn't be so bad if he didn't have four brothers and two sisters. Plus four of them already have families with kids on their own. But that's still better that the first guest list his mother sent. I lost count of his first cousins after the first three pages."

I snickered "Did they intend to book a whole plane for the family?"

"No, they have their own private one, the problem was we couldn't fit them all in La Push. Or Forks for that matter."

My eyes widened as I looked at my Aunt casually draped over the sofa "They own a private jet?"

Leah nodded "They're like some really old family of their… _kind_. Almost like royalty and very well known there," She sighed and began messaging her temples "His family is… a handful. Especially his mother since Tim is the oldest son and will become the head of the family. I have no idea how he managed to turn out normal around that woman."

I thought back to my first impressions of Tihomir. Every time I met him he was composed, silent and barely spoke a few words. He never seemed to be out of sorts, always offered polite smiles, but there was still something about him that made others avoid him. I've seen Tihomir straighten up to his full height behind Leah's back and make whoever Leah was talking to shut up (in most cases Embry). And I have never seen him around without Leah. They were always around each other, always trailing after each other, it was almost as if they were each other's shadows.

"He is very… calm," I said for lack of better words "For being the head of such a family."

Leah smiled wistfully "He does live up to his name."

"What does it mean?" I asked curiously.

"_Quiet peace_." The way Leah spoke it with that smile on her face it seemed like the meaning meant a lot more to her. Thinking back, I don't really remember ever seeing that kind of smile on her face. She was… happy, truly happy. Somehow being stuffed into this dress and having that clawed woman prickle me like a voodoo doll didn't seem so bad anymore. It actually made me happy to know that I would somehow be a part of her happiness.

"That should do it, what do you think Miss Clearwater? We can have the adjustments done in a week." The friendly claw lady pushed me off the stool and then twirled me around. Oh yeah, just do whatever you want with me, it's not like I care or have a mind of my own.

Leah looked up and grinned "Quil will love this. Claire, you're perfect."

I looked down at myself and then at a nearby mirror. This wasn't me, I didn't like it. Dresses make me feel exposed, but for Leah's sake…

After I changed back it was Leah's turn to be put on display. By the look on her face she didn't enjoy this any more than I did. I was offered to wait on the sofa which she previously occupied, but the glittering shop was making me nauseous so I rather waited outside.

Tihomir was already waiting there. He was leaning on the wall of the shop with cool ease. He looked like he belonged there despite the bright pink sign right next to him. He nodded to me in acknowledgment as I stepped next to him to wait.

We didn't talk nor was there an awkward silence between us. We both respected each other's privacy so we just waited and watched the world around us.

People rushed left and right, some were in a hurry, some walked without a care in the world. There was an old couple who held hands and slowly made their way down the pavement, the old lady kept talking and talking while pointing her finger in every possible direction while her husband just kept moving forward like he was deaf. Cute. A younger girl was walking a yellow Labrador across the street. The retriever was carrying a large stick and seemed to be quite proud of himself. A young boy walked with his father holding his hand and kept glancing back where the toy shop was. He tugged at his father's hand, but the father simply ignored him and rushed forward. They seemed to be in a hurry.

Across the street another young couple walked hand in hand. The tall blond boy walked with a serious face, while his girlfriend wore a smile and swung their joined hands. The girl suddenly looked across the street and her eyes met mine as if I suddenly called out to her. I grinned at her and slightly messed up my short hair. The girl laughed and mimicked my movement with her short black hair. Her boyfriend's head snapped up in my direction and seem to glare at me. I was confused for a moment, but then felt a great presence right behind me.

Tihomir stood close to me and his eyes… his eyes were animalistic. Narrowed and dangerous. I've seen that look before. Aggressive dogs held the same look, all that was missing was curled up lips and fangs. And he was staring directly at the couple I was just looking at.

The couple quickly walked off and Tihomir's expression didn't change until they were way out of reach. Even then, after his eyes turned back to normal, he didn't move away from my side and still kept looking in the direction the young couple headed. Then he looked down at me, gave me one of his trademark polite smiles and he was all cool and composed again.

Honestly? I almost pissed myself. And his glare wasn't even directed at me.

I had barely gained my composure when Leah suddenly barged out of the shop "Scramble guys before those lace freaks pull out the tiaras again and try gluing them to my head."

I quickly forgot about the whole incident as Leah began complaining about what they made her put on and how many times she had to change. Tihomir made appropriate little side comments that made Leah hit him and me guffaw. By the time we got home I thought I had imagined the whole thing and was even mindless to Tihomir's driving.

They let me out at my driveway with Leah's cheerful goodbye and Tihomir's small wave. I walked up to the house still smiling and found the door unlocked. Good, that meant Quil or Embry was home.

I called out "Quil? Em? You guys home? You just missed out the best-"

I stopped dead in my tracks when I entered the living room. Quil and Embry weren't the only ones home.

"Hey Claire, long time no see."

"Ray?"

* * *

There you have it! I know it's a cliff, but I simply couldn't resist. Yes, I'm evil AND stupid enough to do this, please don't throw any sharp objects at me. Please?

Also, I know this is very very very out of date to be asking, but what did you think of the New Moon movie? Frankly I was a bit disappointed, especially since the second book is my favorite, but I had a fun time at the cinema! Here's my story: My friend and I went to see it when it almost stopped playing in theaters, we also picked the last possible hour and day. Sunday around 11pm. And that my ladies is the time when guys came out of their hiding places and go see it. I'm not joking when I say this, we were outnumbered by guys. And when me and my friend were snickering at some romantic scenes we got shushed! By guys! They were so in to it that we couldn't stop laughing even an hour after it ended. And the worst part? Almost none were with their girlfriends, there were a few groups of three of four. It was... a miracle. I've witnessed a miracle. Happy day :B

Do you also have any interesting stories to tell involving your Twilight experience? Share them, I'm curious! If you got something really good I'll share it with everyone in next chapter so we can all 'lol' at it XD

Till next time,

much love UW

P.S: reviewreviwreviewreview!


	14. Chapter 13

Bugger. I'm alive.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"Hey Claire, long time no see."

"Ray?"

I froze on the spot and stared like an idiot. Raymond Rodman was standing in our living room calm and comfortable as if he'd been here before. The blonde dope had the nerve to grin at me as if he was pleased with my reaction. I could only repeat myself again "Ray?"

His grin stretched even wider "The one and only."

At that moment, seeing his trademark smile, it hit me how much I've really missed him. Ray was by all means nothing like me, there were so few things we had in common but… Ray was Ray. He's like a fungus. He grows on you.

I matched my smile to his and literally jumped over the sofa to clasp him in a hug. I even wrapped my legs around his waist and clung to him with all my might "Ray!"

He staggered back a few steps by my impact but held his ground. "Woah, I'm glad to see you too!" He laughed and held me firmly "Now this is what I call a greeting."

After a few moments he carefully set me back on my feet and gave me a look over. He smiled again before pulling me in another one-armed hug "You're positively glowing! This place must have really been working it's magic on you."

"It's far away from a big city for starters," I nodded and still clung to him. I can't believe how good it is to see him.

I only then took notice of Embry standing a little behind Ray and then of Quil almost completely concealed behind Embry. It almost looked like Embry was pushing him back.

"Oh right, did you guys introduced yourselves already?" I ducked around my friend to face my two flat-mates.

Ray shook his head amused "I just got here and we were about to, but then you stormed in and ruined our introduction."

I rolled my eyes at him "From the bottom of my heart I'm deeply sorry."

"S'okay babe," he nudged me playfully.

I narrowed my eyes at him in warning but that didn't dim Ray's spirit, nothing ever did. I then motioned to Embry first "This is my flat-mate number uno, Embry. My favorite one is hiding behind him, that's Quil."

None of them smiled, but Embry managed a small wave while Quil evaded our eyes. "Guys, this is my best friend Ray."

Ray had the manners to stick his hand out for a shake, but the two just stood where they were not taking it. If I hadn't know better I'd say Quil was glaring at Ray's hand like he wanted to burn it on sight. What's wrong with him? I gave both guys a bewildered look. Embry seemed to catch on that, but Quil still stubbornly refused to look at me or Ray. Just before Ray was about to drop his hand Embry jumped forward and shook it "Nice to meet you Ray, we've heard so much about you."

Good natured Ray acted like the long pause didn't happen and returned the shake "Likewise, I can't even begin how much Claire has told me about you guys. It feels like I've known you for years."

I'm not completely sure, but I think Embry was flexing his biceps a little too much. He also towered over Ray like he was trying to look down on him. Then again it might be just my imagination, Ray didn't seem intimidated by it. In fact, he looked up at Embry like… uh-oh.

I pushed Ray away from Embry and began dragging him towards my room "Don't even think about it, Ray."

"What?" He looked at me with big innocent eyes.

"That," I nodded towards Embry who had turned his attention to Quil "I'm fairly sure he wouldn't be interested in you… that way."

"Doesn't hurt to try," Ray winked as I pushed him past me in my room.

"You and your…" I trailed off and bowed my head in defeat, but then I realized something. Embry has always been an idiot to me and he always liked to make fun of me so why not for once… I flashed Ray a smile "On second thought, give it your best shot. I want to see the look on his face after you're through with him."

"Ooooh what's this? Do I smell revenge? And from _Claire_ of all people?"

"You have no idea how much that guy can annoy me." I sighed.

Ray whistled in amazement "And you used to dub me as the 'Most annoying person on the planet'."

"You still are," I nudged him playfully "He's the 'Most annoying in the universe'. Big difference."

We laughed and I marveled at how good it felt to have Ray around again. I never realized the importance of his presence until now. Which reminds me "What are you doing here anyway? And how did you get here?"

Ray sat down on my bed after pushing a plane ticket into my face. I stared at the ticket and then at him "You're afraid of flying."

He shrugged "Well, that was the only way I could get here without taking those stinky slow trains."

"But you're _afraid_ of flying," I stated again.

"Terrified is more like," grinned Ray "But I realized I'm fine if I just board the plane on impulse. Once it's in the air there's no getting down anyway."

I stared at him bewildered. Ray's fear of flying was on the brink of a phobia and here he tells me he just impulsively boarded a plane?

"Well there was this big dude sitting next to me," he began explaining "I think he might have drugged me with something."

"You got drugged by a complete stranger?" I exclaimed.

"Yes," He grinned and actually seemed proud of that. Typical.

"Shit Ray, didn't anyone tell you not to take candy from strangers? Or drugs for that matter?"

"He offered me his mineral water. How was I to know it was drugged or something? Besides it worked fine, didn't it? I just drooled most of the flight and by the time the thing wore out we were already landing, I scrambled out and here I am. Happy end." He really looked damn pleased with himself and his accomplishment. Maybe the drug still hadn't worn out?

I face-palmed "How the hell do you always manage to get out of these things alive?"

"Karma loves me."

And that's all he had to say. I decided to ignore his airplane experience from now on "Then how did you get from the airport to here? You should have called me, I was in Seattle most of the day."

**"**Then it wouldn't be a surprise," he shrugged "Besides, I got on a bus that took me all the way to Forks and then I hitchhiked to La Push. A friendly local sheriff gave me a lift, he looked a lot like Michael Newman from Baywatch."

**"**Michael Newman?" I wondered.

"The one with the old fashioned suppose-to-be sexy mustache."

"Oh," I blinked "You mean Chief Swan."

Ray nodded "Friendly guy, he knew this place after I explained it was a big garage-thingy. I got here not even half an hour ago."

"Everyone around knows this place," I confirmed "How long can you stay?"

"A few days, maybe a week. Will you take me in?" He looked at me with those pleading big blue puppy dog eyes. They did nothing to me, but I gave in anyway.

**"**Of course. You'll get in my way, complain about the state my room is and nag about the dullness of a small town, but how wouldn't I love that." I joked "Stay as long as you want."

"Yay!" he cheered "I'll finally get to see what so awesome about this place you call home."

I glared at him "Make fun of it and I'll kill you."

He saluted "Understood." Though I doubt he did.

"Anyway, you took care of things in school, right? They know you're gone for a while… with a reason."

Ray waved his hand absentmindedly "I sent in a sick note."

**"**You really need to stop forging your parents' signature," I sighed. Since the dawn of time I never remember Ray actually being sick, but I do know there must have be at least a dozen sick notes send to school when he was too lazy to attend. Or too afraid of his coach.

"They know and they don't mind," grinned Ray "They know what an awesome son they have so they trust me when it comes down to business."

**"**And that cargo ship from Cambodia?"

**"**Hey, that was an accident!" protested Ray "It's not my fault they mixed up my order."

**"**_What_ did you order in the first place anyway? We never really got down to that."

**"**You don't want to know," Ray backed off. If he was backing off then I _really_ didn't want to know. Ray was simply scary like that.

"Okay, then back to my first question. What are you doing here?"

Ray brushed a few of his blond locks away from his eyes in what he believed was a sexy gesture "I'm here to be at your service, madam." To make the picture perfect he also stretched in a seductive pose. On my bed.

I thwacked him.

**"O**uch!" he brushed the back of his head "Jesus, at least start hitting like a girl."

I glared at him and moved in for one more hit. Ray got the message and quickly straightened himself. He was silent for a moment before he replied "I just wanted to get away from everything for a while."

I silently stared at him for a few seconds before I took a seat next to him. I leaned my head on his shoulder and that was the best I could do at the moment. I felt his body relax and then he snorted "It's starting to get to me. The pressure I mean. Before school, after school, Volkov even wants me to train on weekends. This was supposed to be fun, a game, basketball was always fun for me, but now…" he trailed off as he turned his head to look out of the window.

**"**I understand he wants to make me ready, I understand I have to work really hard if I want that scholarship and I understand I'll have to run myself down if I want to play for the big teams. I understand, I understand… I know. But right now I just need a little break to catch my breath and to think things through. I don't want to turn something that I love into something I hate. And if I start hating it, if I am hating it, then I can't fight so hard for it anymore." He buried his face in his hands "What do I do?"

I entwined my fingers in his hair and started gently brushing it. I had no answer for him. Ray's world sometimes seems obstacle-free, no worries, no troubles, everything just a good laugh and a good time. It's true he's never embarrassed about anything, that he takes people's hate, simplemindedness and prejudice with a shrug of his shoulders. There are so little things that faze Ray, so little things that can actually touch him or unsettle him. But there are two things… pressure and family.

He's never worked well under pressure, other people's pressure that is. He's good at pushing himself to his limits and I've seen him exceed those limits due to his own stubbornness, but when other people press him for results that's when his reserve crumbles. This is why his weak subject in school was Math. He isn't stupid (even though I often say otherwise), but our Math teacher started loading him with extra work to make him work harder in hopes to make him better. For Ray that's counterproductive of course. If anything, his scores got even worse, he fell behind in class and he probably wouldn't have made it to senior year if I hadn't have started to help him with the extra work. If basketball started to turn into pressure for him… Ray won't make it.

And family? This is where it gets really muddled. Ray was working this hard for a scholarship. Without it he has little to no chance to attend college, or at least doing in life what he would want to do. His parents were both elementary school teachers and the pay wasn't exactly fabulous, but they both loved what they did and over the years saving up for both of their children to attend college wasn't a problem. No, the problem occurred when Ray's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. After that most of their savings were put into medical treatment. In the end, as he explained to me not so long ago, his parents could barely scrape together enough for either him or his younger sister to attend. And Ray, being the big brother who cares for his sister, gave up on his chance and said to his parents to just invest it all for Jill. This resulted in Ray doing some odd jobs while trying to balance school and training. Now, he was mentally breaking himself over a scholarship.

With my head still resting on his shoulder I whispered to him earnestly "I don't know what you can do. I don't know how to help you. But while you're here, while you're staying with us, I don't want you to worry about basketball, scholarships, your family or anything. You can relax, have fun and annoy me all you want, this time I have your back."

A ghost of a smile traced his lips "You know there's something oddly comforting with that coming from you."

I pinched his sides "What's that suppose to mean?"

**"**Nothing," he grinned. His previous problems forgotten he jumped on his feet and for the first time looked around my new room "When was the last time you dusted those shelves?"

Yup, he was back to his old self.

**xxx**

"Quil, where are those extra blankets Embry put away after I moved in?"

Quil looked up from his desk where he was working on a new sketch. He was chewing on the back of his pencil. I noticed his fingers were grey from the pencil where he added smudges for shadows and there were eraser crumbs all over his table. And hair. I blinked at that. How did he get it up there?

He pulled the pencil from his mouth and tucked it behind his ear before getting up towards his closet. I smiled. He looked like a dork.

He pulled out two thick blankets and a pillow. Silently he handed them to me.

"It's okay, right?" I asked nervously. I was getting a feeling everything wasn't okay with Quil "You guys won't mind if he stays for a few days?"

"No," he answered shortly not meeting my eyes. I almost flinched. He was too obvious.

**"**Ray is going through some trouble right now," I began "He needs my support, and after everything he has done for me-"

"I'm fine with it, Claire," he cut me off "You don't need to explain yourself to me."

But I wanted to explain myself to him, he looked so dejected all of a sudden, and with that quiet tone of his he was making it even worse.

"We'll be in my room or out of the house most of the time. Quiet as little bugs you won't even notice anything amiss," I promised.

**"**That's not- wait," Quil peered down at me "What do you mean your room? He is sleeping on the couch isn't he?"

"No, he'll be staying in my room. The bed is big enough for the both of us and that old couch isn't good for Ray's lanky back."

At this Quil crossed his hand over his chest and said "Out of the question." His voice left no space to argue.

I stared up at him confused "What do you mean 'out of the question'? I wasn't even asking."

Quil glowered at me "As in I won't allow him sleeping in your room."

**"**Won't allow?" I asked shocked "You're not my father, Quil. I know you feel like you have to play the responsible adult most of the time and you always have been like a big brother to me, but this isn't something that would need your approval."

A shadow passed his face and for a moment I thought I said something really wrong but he quickly gained his composure and repeated what he said "He can't sleep in your room."

**"**You can't decide that!" I snapped at him now really angry.

"Try me," he dared.

I turned my back to him and walked off "Watch me."

**"**Hey hey now," Embry suddenly jumped from the bathroom and unexpectedly stopped my exit "Let's not argue over the littlest thing. This is a house of peace, remember?"

He could have at least _tryed_ pretending he wasn't eavesdropping. "You can shove your house of peace where the sun doesn't shine, Em," I retorted calmly.

That left him baffled long enough for me to make my way around him, but not long enough for me to walk out of his reach. Embry grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt to hold me back while simultaneously also grabbing Quil's shirt and pulling us both to the living room.

"Rule no.1 of the house of peace is that everyone living under its roof is an adult." He gave us both a look "As in everyone also acts like an adult."

I wanted to point out that he must be a sole exception of that rule, but now didn't seem like a good time to argue.

**"**Rule no.2: As adults we don't argue, we compromise. And rule no.3: After successfully compromising pancakes are in order. Now," he sat us down while he took the seat opposite of us "Let's compromise."

Quil and I both stared in the opposite direction too stubborn to look at each, let alone begin a conversation anew. I was fuming inside completely bewildered by his bossy decision to suddenly tell me what I can or cannot do. That and his lack of reason without even explaining what his problem was… gah!

**"**Okay, so the thing is Claire doesn't think it's healthy for Ray to sleep on the couch," Embry cut me off in the middle of my fuming. I nodded vigorously "He gets back pains if he doesn't sleep on a proper bed and with the tournaments coming up that's not an option."

**"**And Quil here doesn't approve of Ray sleeping your room."

At this I wanted to glare at Quil but he was still facing the opposite direction. He wasn't even trying to back himself up. That rilled me up even more "I don't see what the big deal is anyway. Me and Ray have shared a bed at least a dozen times!"

Quil flinched and Embry looked like he didn't know whether to be amused or shocked "I –uh… think that besides the point right now."

"What? How?" I asked bewildered.

"Excuse me guys, but do I have any say in this matter?" Ray's voice asked from somewhere behind us.

The three of us turned "No!"

Ray held his hands up in defeat "Woah, I just wanted to say that you guys might get the wrong idea." We all ignored him.

"You guys can't sleep together, and that's that." stated Quil firmly one more time.

I flung a couch cushion into his face "Why not? Why are you bothered by that?"

Calm as ever Quil looked at me and opened his mouth to say something. He then glanced at Ray, turned his gaze back at me and closed his mouth. Again he remained silent. This time I wanted to fling myself at him and pull his hair until he told me. What was his problem?

**"**Claire," Embry called my name with a drawl that clearly wanted something from me. He tilted his head in Quil's direction and gestured for me to do something. _"Compromise," _he mouthed at me.

I sighed in annoyance "Fine, I'll take the couch and Ray can stay in my room."

Embry looked pleased while Quil on the other hand "No."

**"**What now?" This time it was Embry who was annoyed with him.

"She could never rest well on a couch," explained him Quil "Since she was little she could never fall asleep on one."

His consideration flattered me. Really. But now was not the time to be considerate "I'll fall asleep when I'm tired enough!"

"You're scary when you're tired or don't get enough sleep," Ray commented from behind us.

**"**Shut up," I growled at him "Whose side are you on anyway." Again he quickly held his hands up and this time he remained quiet.

Embry massaged his temples and took a few deep breaths, he looked like he might be getting a headache. Good. "Then Quil, you take the couch, Ray can have your bed and Claire stays in hers. That way we all win, _yay_! Now someone make me those damn pancakes."

Quil's face went a few shades darker, he didn't even have to say anything for Embry to give in "Fine! I'll take the couch and Ray can stay in my room."

"Hey, that's really not-" Ray protested, but we all shushed him before he could continue. Embry had already made a deal "I was planning to take the night shift anyway, I'll just sleep in the afternoon and that way no one gets the couch. All happy now?"

Ray shrugged, Quil gave a stiff nod and I smiled.

"Good. Pancakes, now!" demanded Embry.

I dragged Ray into the kitchen and started piling ingredients before him, for him to start his famous Rodman Pancakes. Those will surely win Quil and Embry's hearts over. Or at least their stomachs. Out of habit Ray wordlessly handed me back the tea bags and tomato sauce to put them back from where I grabbed them.

"You know I could just stay at that motel in Forks," began Ray as he started the fire on the oven "There was no need to fight over it."

**"**Dude, you do not want to spend a night at Lazy-J's. A neat freak like you wouldn't make it through the night. And that wasn't a fight, we were just… _compromising_," I said using Embry's words.

Ray gave me a smile over his shoulder "You know this is the first time I've seen you stand up for yourself."

I huffed "I've stood up for myself before."

Ray shook his head sadly but still kept the smile attached "Anyway, are the guys by any chance acquainted with my sexuality?"

"Why? Do you think there might be a problem?" I asked worried.

"No, no, it's just that I think they might have gotten the wrong idea when you suggested me sleeping in your bed."

I looked at him funny "What wrong idea?"

Ray emitted a short bark of laughter "Jesus, you're so naïve sometimes, Claire."

The first pancake sizzled in his pan and the sweet aroma filled the kitchen "Well, I'm glad at least someone is amused by that. Now stop teasing this naïve little girl and get to the point."

Ray smiled at me fondly "They might get the wrong idea as in they think I'm straight. Now if we add a straight man sleeping in a straight's girl bed that leads to…"

**"**Oh," I responded dumbly "Now that's just wrong."

Ray gave me a look "Should I feel insulted?"

I ignored him as I gave to what he just said a moment of thought "No, I'm pretty sure they know."

"How sure is pretty sure?"

**"**I'm 100% positive I mentioned it somewhere," I wasn't giving it much though actually, Ray just dropped the first pancake on the plate I laid out for him and my stomach rumbled in response. My stomach missed Ray too.

**xxx**

After Embry and Quil realized Ray can cook, I mean _really_ cook, things sort of calmed down. Ray's offering to cook some of the meals during his stay was like a peace offering that both guys almost too willingly accepted. It was almost insulting. Almost. But seeing as how I'll never master even heating leftovers in the microwave I was happy for them.

The next morning I was up early as usual, and so was Quil. Even though he didn't give me rides to school anymore he still made an effort to eat breakfast with me. Sleepy and tousled he ate whatever I put on his platter. Once I made Embry gag quite violently as I smeared pickles with ketchup and sugar on top, Quil didn't even blink but after that Embry put me under an oath to never try that again. He mumbled something about health and food poisoning, but he was just overreacting as always.

I did my morning exercises, ran with Sunny a few laps around the house and up and down the dirt road (my 'allowed' space to run by myself courtesy of Quil) and by the time I got ready for school Quil had made his way to work in the garage. He didn't go back to bed these days and it made me feel uneasy since I didn't know if he got enough sleep or not. I decided to talk to Embry about it later when he got back.

I was on my way to the car when I took one last glance at the garage. I stared at it for a while and then suddenly an idea sprang to my mind. I threw my backbag in the car and hurried to the garage. I stared up at the big door as something at the back of my mind tickled. Didn't the guys used to have a basketball hoop above the door?

I peeked inside trying to spot Quil. When he was nowhere in sight I also tried checking the backroom. He was there crouching over a few small canisters and mixing colors, he looked up as I entered "Hey, shouldn't you be on your way to school?"

**"**I still have plenty of time," I said "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded as he got up and began wiping his hands in a smudged cloth "Sure, ask away."

I pointed at the big garage door behind me "Didn't you guys used to have a basketball hoop over the door?"

"Yeah, but we broke it."

**"**You always broke it," I remembered "But then didn't you also always fix it?"

Quil shrugged "Yes, but after Jake moved out we didn't bother anymore."

I looked back at the door and then Quil again "Do you still have that hoop around?"

Quil scratched the back of his head while looking around the junk that laid all over the place "Yeah it must still be here… somewhere."

"Can we put the hoop back up? I want to… try something."

Quil gave me a long glance before he nodded without asking "Sure, I'll put it back up before you return."

I smiled earnestly "There's no rush, but thank you."

"Anything for you."

**xxx**

Nicking a basketball from the school gym was easy. I wasn't stealing technically, just borrowing. I plan to return it after Ray leaves. Plus it's their fault for leaving the balls unlocked in the first place! And leaving the storage-room unlocked. And leaving the gym unlocked for that matter.

When I got back home I noticed Ray sitting on the porch steps and looking across the yard where Quil had already installed a new hoop. He had a deep and brooding expression on his face as he gazed up at it but that quickly changed as he spotted me driving in. As I parked the car I pushed the ball from the back seat to under it so Ray wouldn't notice. I should give him more time.

"Nice car," whistled Ray as I got out "Definitely more your style."

I glanced at it and felt proud "Yeah, right? They really did a good paint job."

It was green, army green, but the lower edges were rimmed grey. And there on the back bumper was also a small wolf paw print, the guys' signature. Nothing flashy, still simple but it finally had some spirit, something that made me finally want to drive it.

"When can we go for a ride?" asked Ray excitedly.

**"**It's still the same car you know," I grinned at him knowing perfectly well he had the same thoughts about the 'old' car as I did.

"When?" Ray ignored my banter and urged me again.

**"**Tomorrow?" I asked "I need to go to Port Angeles. I need a bigger library for some school research." Ray seemed happy with that.

"Where is everyone?" I asked when we got inside. The house was unusually silent.

**"**Embry got back just a few hours ago and he's fast asleep, and Quil has been gone since he got back."

I put my stuff in my room "What have you been doing all day?"

"Well I almost slept till noon, made myself some breakfast, rearranged the books in your room in alphabetical order, brushed Sunny's fur and cleaned the bathroom."

I wanted to slam my head through the wall "You really need to do something about this complex of yours. Do you always clean homes of strangers?"

"You're not a stranger," he pointed out "Plus Embry didn't seem to mind."

"Of course he wouldn't, he's next on the line for cleaning business this week."

**"**I've got to make myself somehow useful for the next few days," Ray tilted his head sideways and gave me a questioning look "Or do you have a better idea?"

I snorted "If I told you to just laze around all day I know you wouldn't do it, and if I told you to do whatever you want you'd clean the whole house all day."

Ray grinned and nudged my side "You know me so well."

"Knock yourself out then. Clean as much as you like, just don't move any of Quil's sketches that lie around," I smiled faintly.

"Noted!" said Ray excitedly "Oh by the way, that green thing in the back of the fridge…?"

"Leave it, that's Embry's experiment," I said shortly, trying not to think about it too much.

Ray looked uncertain "It moved when I poked it."

I shuddered "I know, and it's growing too. Just… just leave it, maybe it'll eat Embry one day."

Ray still looked uncertain about it. I think he was torn between calling the RSPCA or Mulder and Scully for X-files. I'll try to remember to conceal that '_thing'_ with jars the next time I open the fridge. "Don't worry, whatever it is I'm sure it's legal."

"You sure?"

No.

**"**Yes, completely."

I was pulling some of my school books from my bag when the permission slip Mrs. Picklestein handed to me last week fluttered to the ground. Momentarily forgetting about the alien form in our refrigerator, Ray picked it up and quickly scanned it's contents. He looked up at me with a grin "Do you need help with this?"

I snatched the paper from his grasp and moved away from him "No thanks, I already decided not to go."

Ray sighed "There you go again."

"What?" I asked.

**"**That," answered Ray emphasizing with his hands in my direction "You always resort to self-sacrifice whenever you can't get through with something on your own. And you don't even bother asking for help!"

**"**I really am not comfortable with you forging signatures," I said tiredly "I was okay with it back in Chicago, but not here, not in La Push."

"Then get someone here to sign it for you. I'm positive your aunt would do it without you even asking," Ray didn't back off.

I looked at the little slip of paper in my hands. He was right, my aunt would surely do me this favor if I'd ask her, but that was just it, I hated it when others did me favors. I looked back at Ray and the look on my face gave him my answer.

"You're unbelievable! It's just a little signature, they would think nothing of it."

When I still didn't budge from my decision Ray suggested more drastic measures "What about Embry or Quil? Aren't they your uncles or something?"

**"**I'm not related to Quil, and Embry is Sam's half-brother so that makes him my… half-uncle? Anyway, only a parent or a legal guardian is suppose to sign it, and Embry and Quil are a far cry from either."

"Then at least pretend one of them is your cousin," said Ray with frustration "An adult family member is almost as good as a legal guardian."

"No it's not, stop bending the rules," I argued.

**"**Why are you so hell bent on them anyway? And since you're living with those two, they're practically your guardians anyway."

He was right of course. Quil and Embry were more my guardians than my uncle and aunt were. Heck, more than my parents were. It was the little things that mattered, they made sure I ate all my meals, one of them was always around and they never left me home alone, they took me along grocery shopping and I get to say what we eat for dinner, I also know I could rely on them, I know I could always call them anytime I needed anything. In truth… I had no argument for Ray.

Satisfied with my silence he reclaimed the permission slip from my hands. "Hey!" I tried reaching for it, but Ray jumped out of my way and dangled it before my nose before taking a mad dash out of my room. I tackled him down in the living room until we were both wrestling and rolling around the carpet with Sunny jumping around us thinking it was some fun game.

Somehow I managed to pin Ray down, but his longer hands were still out of my reach. I was tempted to just bite him, but permanently scarring that body of his that he was so proud of might actually result in him never forgiving me. Actually at the moment that didn't sound so bad. We huffed and puffed for a while as we pushed each other off only to tackle one another again. Whenever he held me down I always somehow managed to turn us, and when he was under me he always managed to wriggle himself out.

"What are you two doing?"

We both stopped to look up and notice Embry wide awake and leaning on the door with an amused expression. Ray tried wriggling his way from underneath me again "Help, rape! Help!"

I pushed my orange sock harder in his face as I tried pinning his legs and hands with my body weight. He was waving his hands around too much for me to get a good grip, I cursed him and looked up at Embry for help "Tie him down, would you?"

Embry took the liberty of the armchair opposite of us and made himself comfortable. I glowered at him while Ray took the opportunity to suddenly shift the position and we were tumbling around again "Just give it up Rodman!"

"Make me, babe," he teased with a laugh.

I hate that nickname and he damn well knows it! He was looking up at me with a cheeky grin while again waving around with that slip still out of my reach. But not out of reach for…

"Sunny, grab."

My beautiful, intelligent, wonderful dog obeyed my command almost too willingly. With Ray practically dangling the slip right in front of Sunny's nose, my dog just elegantly grabbed the bait before Ray could pull away. And Ray did pull away…

_*riiiip*_

All of us now stared at the remaining piece left in Ray's hand while Sunny happily wagged his tail overly too happy with himself for gaining the main prize. This scene all too well reminded me of the encounter of Sunny and a certain towel.

**xxx**

I pushed around the useless stuff in my drawers trying to find some scotch tape. I grumbled in annoyance when I only came up with duct tape. The now two-pieced permission slip rested on my table slightly wrinkled and slobbered with Sunny's drool. The only positive thing?

Embry volunteered to sign it after Ray asked if he was guardian-ish enough for the permission slip. Embry laughed at that and said no one ever had any problems with that at our school as long as it was an adult. He didn't really understand what the big deal was and Ray all too gladly pointed out 'It's all just in her head'.

I snorted at that as I pushed another drawer shut. Ray and Embry will never understand, my mother practically drilled the whole 'never ask anyone for anything' motto in my head, and as much as I don't agree with pretty much anything she's ever said it's hard to come around something that I'm so used to.

I looked in the kitchen where Ray was giving Embry a detailed report about his awesome pancakes. Embry was actually making notes for this. Seeing the sudden change in their relationship from that hostile welcome yesterday made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, not really, but it was nice to see the two getting so well along. From the way Ray was leaning so close to Embry maybe even too well. But then again Embry looked oblivious as always.

"Em, do you have any scotch tape?" I interrupted their little interlude.

"No, I think Quil has some, check his room," he replied from behind his notes.

I looked in the direction of Quil's room and then back at him "I'll wait till he gets back, I don't want to snoop around his room when he's not here."

Embry waved his hand at me "Just take a look, I always rummage around his stuff and I know he wouldn't mind _you_. Plus I'm almost positive he keeps some tape in his left third drawer."

I was still uncertain about it but I took a look anyway. Quil's room like always wasn't neat or chaotic, but organized in a manner than only he would know where to find something. His table on the other hand was a whole different matter, due to piles and piles of papers, sketches, sticky notes and magazines the surface of the table was higher for a few inches.

I peeked in the drawer that Embry told me to but after shifting some notebooks, erasers and rulers around I still couldn't find the tape. I also tried the first two drawers but had no such luck so I shifted to the right side of the table to try with the other three. The second one on the right was filled with his sketchpads, some looked old, some new and some I recognized. I pulled one out, the one he had that night when I requested him to draw Sunny. He never showed me the final picture so it wouldn't hurt if I took a peek, right?

I flipped through the sketches I saw before and then stopped on the one that was new. I stared. He didn't draw Sunny. Or rather he did, but he stopped at his head and back at the bottom of the page while the rest was filled… with me.

I sat down on the floor and traced my fingers over my face. The face he drew. The edges, the bed, and Sunny were sketchy, but I was drawn in perfect detail. Everything about me was… odd. I doubt I ever look that peaceful when I sleep, and I might even look sort of beautiful here. Is this how Quil sees me?

Something tightened in my chest and I skipped to another page in flustration. There was another sketch of me hugging Sunny and laughing. I skipped to another and another, and there was always me. Just me, me and Embry, me and Sunny, just me again, me with Ally and Mattis, me in a forest, me, me, me, me… Even though there were sometimes other people they were never detailed as I, never pointed out as I, every picture I would look, I would stand out.

I quickly closed the book and pushed it away from me. I shouldn't look at these without Quil's permission, they were his private drawings. I moved the other pads in his drawer so I could put this one back to where I took it. Just before I put it back in I noticed under his last pad something poking out. A picture? No, a photograph.

Without thinking I picked up the picture. I grinned, it appeared to be an old group photo. Emily looked to be around my age, Brady and Colin were tall and lanky, Rachel was missing which meant she and Paul hadn't been together yet, Jacob had another girl under his arm, Leah looked kind of dejected and everyone else looked more or less the same.

I looked up at Quil's wall where he had pasted some of his photos. I'm sure this photo used to be up there too. I furrowed my brows, why did he take it down? I looked in the drawer again and noticed some more photos buried under there. As I browsed through them I remembered them all, they all used to hang on Quil's wall. I was right the other day, he _did_ used to have more photos up there.

I kept looking through them and wondered what made him take them off. They were all really nice shots. Except… there was me again. On every single one of them. I quickly put everything all back together and neatly stored it back.

I couldn't understand what Quil's deal was. Did he have something against me? Was I being too much of a bother?

I bit my lip in worry as I closed the drawer. Did perhaps Quil really…?

I quickly forgot all about the scotch tape as I took one last glance at the photos on his wall. Photos of his friends and family… friends and family.

But not me anymore.

I could still hear Embry and Ray's voices as I passed the kitchen and dragged myself back to my room. I dug an old dusty shoebox from underneath my bed where I kept my own photographs stored. I browsed through them till I found four very old ones from my time here. Mom would have my head if she knew I still kept these after she threw all our albums away.

One was taken in Emily's kitchen with me, Ally and Mattis at the table and uncle Sam in the back enfolding us in a big group hug. The other was taken at one the bonfires with me wedged between Quil and Jake to keep me warm. They were so _huge _compared to me that I was almost completely invisible. Everyone else around us was talking, eating, laughing, just one of our regular bonfires. And the last shot was the same as the one Quil kept. I was around 6 and hung from around his neck in one of my many failed attempts to hug him due to his bear like size. He had one hand around me to support me from falling and the smile on his face was the same as…

"Hey Claire," greeted a familiar voice.

I looked up at the smiling face of Quil as he stood at my door as he clearly just got home. The same smiling face as then.

I looked back down at the 12 year old picture. The same face as then. Something in my mind shifted as I realized Quil looked completely the same as he did 12 years ago.

* * *

Late again, but at least I finally got this one down *tired sigh* No idea why but this one was hard to write :/

So we've got a problematic Ray, a jealous Quil, a Claire who is starting to notice something amiss and an Embry. Wonder how all that will turn out :)

Stay tune and feed me reviews! Please?


	15. Chapter 14

Unbeta-ed version since I wanted to upload this as soon as possible. I'll upload the right version as soon as my magical godmother beta (aka Katanagirl16) gets back to me. Bear with my mistakes for now please.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

"_Why do you patrol?"_

"_To keep you safe."_

"_But what do you do on patrol?"_

"_We make sure nobody suspicious is doing anything wrong."_

"_Wrong like what? Like the bad guys in movies? Doesn't the sheriff do this stuff? Are you a sheriff too Quil?"_

"_No, I'm not a sheriff."_

"_Then what are you?"_

"_A superhero! I mean just look at my bulging muscles!"_

"_Silly Quil, you can't fly!"_

"_I know, my superpowers are way more awesome than that!"_

"_Is that why you're so warm all the time?"_

"_No, that's just my way to keep you warm."_

Silly questions, silly answers. This is how most of my questionings went when I was little. The older I got, the less he answered, the quieter he got. Then I stopped asking.

And now, I was afraid to ask. Or maybe I was afraid of his answers. Or no answer at all.

But this… I couldn't just let this go because I soon realized Quil wasn't the only one who looked completely the same. Embry didn't look a day older either. And the same went for Leah and Seth, Colin and Brady. Maybe the old pictures in my shoe box weren't really any hard evidence. Granted, they were only four photos, but all of them had the date and place noted on the back, and everyone from sixteen years till now had the same Quil, Embry, Leah, Colin and Brady on them. Completely the same.

I wondered about the others, about Paul, Jared and my uncle Sam even. They _did_ change, but considering how old they were they still looked suspiciously young. Heck, wasn't my uncle supposed to be around 35-ish?

I tried looking for more group photos, old and new ones. I know they used to have a couple of them hanging around the house but they were all gone now. It's like all the photos from more than 8 years ago were taken down with a reason. Maybe the same reason Quil why removed his.

It was frustrating! I wanted to ask someone about it but by the way everyone was always connected I didn't know who to ask without making a big deal out of it. My first choice would always be Quil himself, but he was avoiding this just like he had years ago when I kept asking too many questions. I have never asked anyone else before, I might have mentioned a thing or two to Emily but she would always direct me back to Quil.

And there was that other thing, their 'patrols'.

Up till this day I've never actually seen any of them on 'patrol'. Even though they do it all the time, they talk about it all the time, even though someone is always busy, I've actually never seen any of them go around the reservation and do anything that would resemble a patrol. And since the same people were always involved this meant the aging thing was also somehow connected.

I should ask. Not just Quil, but anyone. I had so many questions, so many things I didn't understand, things that didn't add up. And somehow… I think I'm a part of it. I think they're waiting for me. They're waiting for some change in me, and I think I'm waiting for it too.

But I have no idea what that is, and until I do… I can't ask.

**xxx**

Quil, Ray and I ate our late lunch silently. I was in a hurry to get to Port Angeles but Quil made us eat something before we left. I didn't want to obey but Ray refused to go with me if we didn't eat. I think he was trying to make a good impression on Quil and because of that I obliged.

In my head I still kept going over the revelation I made yesterday and every now and then I would take a peek at Quil. It was making me nervous. Not aging isn't normal, right? Of course it wasn't, so there's no way this could just be fragment of my imagination. Right?

"You got everything?" asked me Ray before we were about to leave.

I double checked my bag and nodded while moving out "Yeah."

Quil went to see us off "Be back before dark, okay?"

I looked at my watch "I doubt we'll make it, I've got a lot to stuff to look up for that school project so I'll probably stay in library till closing hours." Somewhere in the back I heard Ray groan.

"Maybe I should go with you," Quil looked worried. He has been on edge since he got back home yesterday.

I shook my head at him "You look tired, you should get some sleep. And did you change your shifts again?"

"We prolonged them, that's why Embry still hasn't returned yet."

I wanted to ask why. It was on the tip of my tongue but- "Then one more reason why you should rest. Don't worry about me and Ray, it's not like there are any big bad wolves out there to eat us."

"It's not the wolves you should be afraid of," Quil murmured so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

I gave him a long look and then just let him be. I waved at him before we got in the car, and when we drove out of our little driveway I noticed Quil looking after us until we were completely out of sight.

"Hey is that Embry?" Ray suddenly asked.

I looked in the direction he was pointing and noticed someone running our way, it wasn't Embry though "No, that's Colin."

"Woah, he's fast!" exclaimed Ray.

Indeed he was, he ran right past us and in the direction of our house. While passing us he gave us a little fleeting smile, but didn't slow down. I wondered if anything was amiss, he appeared to be in a hurry and he looked worried.

I didn't slow down though, if anything was wrong Quil would give me a call.

**xxx**

I didn't notice my battery ran dead until we were in the Port Angeles Main Library. I cursed my phone repeatedly and for safety reasons I sent a text message to my aunt from Ray's phone if she needed to reach us. Better safe than sorry with how everyone has recently been acting.

At first Ray helped me gather some books I thought I might need and after he made sure I was happily settled behind mountains of dusty old papers he vanished to have a look around. I knew if I need him I'd find him in the fiction section cuddled up in some dark corner. Sleeping probably.

He didn't last long though. Two hours later he came back looking for me. My guess is a librarian or an innocent bypasser scared him off. He plopped himself down at the table opposite of me and closed my laptop when I didn't notice him quickly enough.

I gave him an irritated look "I'm in the middle of something here."

"I'm bored," he replied simply with a shrug.

"Sorry about that," I closed a few books and tousled up my hair tiredly "You can go out and take a look around town. Just follow the road down to the coast and you'll quickly get to the center. The library closes at 8 and since I really need to get this done I'll be here till then."

Ray didn't look happy "I don't want to go alone. C'mon you have to come with me to show me the sights!"

"I don't know any sights since I'm not from here. Two hours, just give me two more hours and I'll play with you," I said as if he were a kid.

He seemed to think over that "Can we go eat right after that?"

"Of course," I obliged.

"Okay then, but two hours tops. Not a minute over!"

"Not a minute over," I nodded.

He gave me a suspicious glance and I waved him off. "I'll wait for you at the entrance," he called over his shoulder before he finally left. I sighed after he was out of sight. It was very tempting to just go with him and cruise through town, but this was more important now. I reopened my laptop and refreshed the pages I have been searching.

_Kallman Syndrome__._

_Crohn's disease__._

_Hypoparathyroidism__._

And I had a few more terms added, conditions all which were somehow connected to the aging process. Or at least making you seem young. I wasn't sure if this was even the correct stuff, I barely understood half the words that were written under definitions and descriptions, but as I checked through some medical forums people kept mentioning this phrases whenever someone didn't look their age. But it wasn't right.

I closed all the windows. It was explained every now and then that people with these conditions mostly looked like they never hit puberty or were at the early stages of it, and still looked like kids. But Quil and Embry looked well over their puberty days.

"Damn it," and I couldn't find anything that would resemble a full grown man to stop aging.

I had no other choice but to let the matter go. I opened my biology assignment again and continued where I previously left off. Evolution vs. Mutation. Funny enough it was the title assigned to me by my teacher which inspired me to look up for a syndrome like that.

Sighing in defeat I tried getting done as much work as possible for the next two hours. Ray, despite being late every time and all the time, didn't like lateness when he was the one waiting.

**xxx**

I happily skipped a few steps as I headed towards the entranced. Despite almost finishing the whole project I still had a few books tucked under my arms for the few edits I'll still have to make. I was a few minutes early when I already spotted Ray outside waiting. He was sitting on the low stone fence that surrounded the library. He seemed to be in deep thought.

As I got closer I noticed he was looking at something across the street. There was a high school there and on its yard there were a few kids playing basketball. I sat down next to him "Wanna join?"

Silently he shook his head. He just wanted to watch.

I sat there with him until it got dark enough for the kids to split up. After that Ray's demeanor changed completely again as he jumped on his feet and grabbed my arm "Eat. Now! And we should get some ice cream too!"

We sought out a fast-food stand and while Ray was still in the process of finishing his hot dogs I went across the street to where an ice cream parlor was located. I choose our flavors and on my way back as I was waiting for the green light I noticed Ray hand signaling me something. Huh, or was he just waving?

I took a step closer to the road and Ray got even more frantic. What the…?

That's when a truck passed me by and drenched me with street water. No wait, he almost literally drowned me from head to toe. And ice cream. Later I realized Ray was trying to warn me from the giant puddle I didn't see. As much as that helped me I was now completely wet from neck down. And smelly.

Ray didn't know if he should laugh or pity me. "Seriously, how couldn't you see it? It was HUGE."

I made a face as I held my wet shirt far away from me as possible "Because the light from my side made it look dark as the road and from yours bright as a rainbow. Forgive me for not having eyes on your face."

Ray was quiet for a second, and then- "But it was HUGE!"

"Seeing as how I got completely wet- I noticed!" I said irked.

"Come here," he dragged me to little empty shady ally and commanded me "Take off your shirt."

Haha, Ray was telling me to take off my shirt.

Wait, what?

"C'mon hurry," Ray pulled his t-shirt off and ever the gentleman that I didn't know he was he offered it to me.

I eyed it suspiciously before taking it "Somehow I get the feeling you wouldn't do that if you hadn't been wearing that jersey underneath."

Ray had his back turned to me but I know he was grinning, the monkey. I quickly swapped the shirts anyway. Of course it was too big for me but it was better than nothing. I rolled my previous shirt in a wet ball and dumped it in a plastic bag Ray offered before putting it in my bag.

"Great, now we can hit the town!" said Ray happily as we exited the ally.

"It's late, I think we should head back," I looked in the direction where we left my car.

Ray disagreed. Again I was being dragged after him as he set a curse further into town and where all the shiny night clubs began to light up.

"No, absolutely not," I tugged at his arm "Crowded places, loud music, flashing lights, do you want me to get a seizure or something?"

"Oh stop being such an introvert pineapple and loosen up already," Ray didn't give up "It's in the middle of the week, nothing is crowded, no loud music will play and there will be no shiny lights. Don't get your hopes up."

I still kept tugging back and whined like a child "I still don't wanna go."

"One drink," promised me Ray.

"We're a bit underage," I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes "We can drink non-alcoholic stuff."

Most of the clubs on Ray's chosen street were closed, and amongst those that were opened Ray was considered enough to let me pick one out, one that was the less intimidating. I still didn't go in easily. There was a bouncer at the door, and despite my outraged look and obvious tugging at Ray's arm we got in without a hassle. Ray really looked mature enough when he wanted to.

I didn't have a chance to take a good look around. He stirred me towards the bar, ordered me a non-alcoholic cocktail and I was quickly content with my fruity drink. Just like a little kid who makes a hassle while eating out but as soon as someone puts paper and crayons on the table the kid was content. Yes, I'm that simple.

Ray ordered something for himself and I didn't know what it was but it looked deliciously green. I took one sniff at it to quickly change my mind "I'm not dragging you back if you get drunk."

"It's just one drink," he grinned as he settled next to me "So, now that we're both comfortable and pretty much alone, we can talk."

I rose my eyebrows at him "Talk about what?"

"You of course."

"What is there to talk about?"

"The change," he said matter-of-factly.

I gave him a stupid look "What?"

He smiled into his drink before he glanced at me "You're different. For the very short time that you've been here, you've changed somehow."

"Ray," I gave him a funny look "I'm still me, I didn't change, and I have no idea what you're talking about."

With a green straw tucked between his teeth he turned round on his bar stool and leaned back on the counter "Name me 10 of your current classmates."

"Jasmine, Marry, Jack," I began unsure and counted on my fingers "Sophie, Aiyana, Landon, Tannan, Simon, Jace and Lily."

"Now name 10 of your previous classmates."

"Well there's you, Patrick, his girlfriend Monica-"

"She's a sophomore, doesn't count," Ray interrupted me.

"Oh," I didn't know that "Well then… Brown, Sasha, the little guy what's-his-name, Jeremy, Scott and… and… uh-"

"Exactly," stated Ray as if he just proved something "You can't even remember 10 of your previous classmates, you just remember Jeremy and Scott since they're with me on the team and the what's-his-name little guy is Tony with whom, by the way, you had to write at least a dozen of papers at history class with since first year. And who is Sasha?"

"The small dark-haired girl who's usually with Monica?" I guessed.

Ray face-palmed "That's her little brother Zach."

Huh.

"What's you point?" I asked annoyed.

"You finally started noticing people."

"What are you talking about? I've always noticed people, it's kind of hard to miss them."

Ray shook his head "No, I mean you started interacting with them. It's like someone finally got through to you. The other day with Quil, that was the first time I saw you…"

"Saw me what?" I asked as he trailed off.

Ray gave it a moment of thought "Saw you like that. Facing a person, taking him in, responding to him. What is Quil to you anyway?"

"I face, respond and take you in too you idiot," I said back.

"That's because I pretty much force myself into your presence and give you no other choice. You're different with the people here. I want to know why." As he pointed it out like that I realized he was right. Why was I suddenly like this? No wait, why did I became like that in Chicago in the first place? Depression? Home sickness?

"Quil," said Ray suddenly "You still hadn't answered what he is to you."

What he is to me?

He was my babysitter at first. And after that… a protector? A friend? No, he was much more than that. He was as close as family, if not even closer.

"Everything," I said suddenly "A brother, a friend, a guardian. I don't think there's a right word for him. He's my… Quil."

"Blind," I thought Ray whispered.

"What? I didn't catch that."

He gave me a look "You're so effin' blind that even a blind person would see a rainbow before you could."

Er... what?

"Never mind," Ray shook his head at my confused look. He then whispered something to himself that either sounded like "I pity the guy," or "I want lime." I think it was the second since he ordered himself another limy drink.

I eyed it and then him as I got up "We're leaving after you finish that, and did you perhaps see which way were the toilets?"

He pointed and I followed. I found the little sign for the restrooms but something didn't add up as I got there. There was none for the ladies. I looked around thinking I maybe missed it somewhere, but no, there was no other door there.

"You waiting for someone?" someone crept behind me and I almost jumped a foot in the air. When I turned there was a heavily built guy leaning on the wall with an overly too friendly smile on his face.

"I- no, I think I'm going to go now," I slowly backed away.

He fallowed me "I've never seen you around before. Are you new in town? Where're you from? You look like a fairly young guy, you still a student?"

"No- I'm…"

Wait. Young guy?

I looked down at myself. Ray's baggy shirt, the short hair, I guess I could easily be confused as a guy. I admit it's a bit insulting but at the same time weirdly funny. I was about to correct the guy when the restroom sigh above him caught my attention again. And then something downed to me. I looked behind me at the almost empty club and even though there were hardly any people, they were all men. Add that to the missing ladies room… ah crap.

**x****xx**

I almost literally jumped on Ray's back. I hugged him around his neck and squeezed him. "Now see, this is my boyfriend," I cheered happily.

I heard Ray choke on his drink as he turned towards me bewildered. I gave him what I hoped where lovely-dovely eyes and continued in a sweet voice "It's our 6 month anniversary and we're just on a little road trip through the state."

"What are you-" Ray began, but I squeezed my arms around him more tightly and almost choked him. He whizzed as he completely turned around and noticed the guy behind him. The big guy who followed me from the toilets.

The big guy smiled friendly and took the seat next to Ray "Aren't you two just a cute couple. How did you meet?"

I glued myself on Ray's arm "Ray here transferred to our college for basketball and after seeing a few of his games I started trailing after him. Let's just say the rest is history."I smiled sweetly again and my face started to hurt from all the smiling.

The big guy grinned knowingly "So who came out first?"

Ray choked again and I jumped excitedly "He's the little shy bug in the relationship, you can guess."

The big guy laughed. "I'm Alex," he offered his hand to us and pointed to a guy in the back of the club who was talking to two other men "And that's my partner O'Shea." As if his partner heard him he looked up and locked his eyes with Alex. Alex motioned for him to join us.

"Carl," I said taking his hand introducing myself. Ray seemed to finally become aware again and feebly stretched his hand "Ray."

"Nice to meet you," Alex said "So you guys plan to stay long in town?"

I shook my head "Just for tonight, we're continuing on early tomorrow."

O'Shea joined us now and Alex quickly introduced us. Alex seemed normal, but O'Shea didn't stop staring at me after we shook hands. I tugged at Ray's shirt, I was starting to get uncomfortable.

Ray on the other hand, finally got into his role. He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me closer to him while giving the two guys before him his trademark smile "Yeah, you know what the feisty type are like, no matter how long you keep them up at night they're still up and about early the next morning. Poor little shy bug like me can hardly keep up with him."

Alex coughed into his drink before laughing out loud, there was even a smile tugging on O'Shea's lips, but I didn't know if I should be mortified or if I should smack Ray across the bar, jump after him and beat the living hell out of him. I pinched his side painfully enough for him to squirm on his seat and I didn't let go until he let go of my waist.

It seemed O'Shea eased up after a while and even I began to enjoy myself enough that I completely forgot what time it was. Alex was a very outspoken person and seemed generally friendly while O'Shea was more of the silent type but still didn't hesitate to include himself in the conversation. I mainly held back and let Ray stir the conversation whenever I got confused over something they were talking about. I earnestly enjoyed their friendly banter and the way they teased each other over some events (or in Ray's and mine situation – made up events).

It wasn't until I noticed Ray's digital watch beep to signal midnight that I realized how late it was. "Oh shit!" I swore as I scrambled from my chair "It's late, Ray we really have to go. Like right now."

For a moment Ray looked confused at me and then at his watch before his eyes grew wide too. He politely bid farewell to the two men and got up after me. Alex and O'Shea persisted that we should stay for a while or maybe hit some other popular dance club nearby, but Ray friendly joked and declined while I already began to back off.

Until I bumped into to someone.

A topless someone.

And barefoot.

Dressed only in a pair of cutoffs.

How did they even let him in?

He glared down at me.

"Hey Quil," I nervously smiled up at him "Fancy meeting you here."

Quil was not amused. He turned his glare from me to Ray and silently growled out four words "Out. Both of you."

Silently I ducked my head and was ready to move past him with Ray behind me when Alex got up from his seat and asked "Hey, does there seem to be a problem?"

"Oh, I'll give you a problem," Quil's angry eyes turned on him and started moving towards Alex. O'Shea moved in front of his partner and I before Quil. I pushed him back "No one's making any problems, we're leaving alright?"

"You guys okay?" Alex asked again despite Quil's angry look. I nodded and was about to say my goodbyes when Quil didn't wait a second longer anymore. He grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt and began dragging me out. "That one is a bit of a jealous control freak, don't worry about it," Ray muttered to Alex and O'Shea before he followed us. I only managed to wave at them in farewell.

We found Embry by the exit of the club dressed in a similar style as Quil. Contrary to Quil who seemed to scare everyone away with his every stride, Embry was surrounded by a little crowd of admirers. And Embry looked petrified, too petrified to even do anything but just stand there like a deer caught in the headlights.

Quil kept ignoring everyone as he hauled Embry by the shoulder and pushed him towards the exit. He let go of him when we were back outside on the street but he didn't let go of me as he just dragged me behind in a random direction.

"I'm sorry," I said out of the blue "We lost track of time."

"What were you doing there anyway? You're both underage!"

I noticed Ray wanted to say something, probably to take the blame, but I signaled him to keep quiet. "We just thought it would be a nice place for a talk."

"In a gay club?" Embry yelped like a girl. He still looked petrified by the whole experience.

I winced "We didn't know, we just thought it was a random club." I looked at Ray and he shook his head at me. He didn't know either until we met Alex.

"There are dozens or so coffee shops around town. Why the hell did you go snooping around one of these clubs? Do you have any idea how dangerous the streets are around here?" Quil grouched.

"It's not like we planned to strut through the dark alleys or anything," I explained to Quil "We just wanted to check out one of these."

Quil still looked livid though, he hadn't let me go yet either. I tugged at his hand until I freed myself from his grasp and that finally made him look back at me "Do you even have any idea in what kind of danger you put yourself into? The streets are not safe at this time of day!"

I gave him an irked look "This is Port Angeles for crying out loud! How do you think I've survived Chicago for the past few years? This town had nothing to the crime level there. And when was the last thing anything happened here, huh? Three weeks ago there was a robbery at a supermarket by a 15-year old kid with a squirt gun." I made a fake panicked face "Oh no, someone almost squirted water on me!"

Quil's shoulders began shaking. He looked up at me slowly, and for the very first time in my life I thought he would explode from anger. Subconsciously I took a step back.

"You. Don't. Know. Anything!" he whispered quietly but deadly.

I took note that he was barely trying to keep hold of his anger, but I didn't back down. Not now. "Then tell me what I need to know!" I challenged him "You always keep saying that, but how am I suppose to stay wary of an invisible enemy? If you're afraid some nut with a knife is going to jump me from a bush you don't have to worry, I can take care of myself."

"Ah, the story of how we met," joked Ray.

I think Ray was trying to ease the tension in our little group, but I wanted to face-palm. Or face-palm him. Quil's head snapped in his direction and his eyes narrowed dangerously "What?"

Ray laughed nervously "I mean- it's just a- uh…"

"Nothing," I said suddenly "He was just joking, he didn't mean anything with that."

"Claire," whispered Embry quietly behind me "I think it's better if you tell him or else he might kill someone."

"If I tell him he definitely _will_ kill somebody," I replied wide-eyed as Quil's shaking only got worse.

"Claire…" spoke Quil in a warning tone that didn't sound promising. I still didn't want to give in. It was only the frightened look that Ray gave me that finally caved me in.

"Okay, alright!" I gave Quil a look "But you aren't going to like it so if you aren't completely sure of your… control… I'd rather not tell."

Quil nodded and took a few moments to collect himself. I was happy to note his violent shaking dropped to a soft quiver and then completely vanished as he gained control of himself again. I let out a long breath and began tousling my hair while wondering how to tell him this in the least painful way.

"Okay, it's really not that big of a deal," I began "Ray and me went to the same Middle School but since I didn't have many friends back then-"

"You were basically a loner," stated Ray simply.

"We really didn't know each other," I ignored him "Until… I think it was last year of middle school?"

Ray nodded. I continued "I can't really remember what it was, but we had some kind of a school celebration for the end of the year that we had to attend. But before the whole thing ended it was already dark outside and I had to walk home alone," seeing the darkening look on Quil's face I quickly concluded the story "Anyway, luckily Ray was there and that's how me met. The End."

Quil turned to Ray "What happened?"

Ray glanced at me at first but then, like I knew he wouldn't, he didn't hesitate to answer "The whole celebration thing was for friends and family, teachers and classmates, everyone was invited. Claire was the only person who was alone, the only one who didn't bring even one family member… or at least someone."

"No one had the time," I explained "It was a damn long event."

"Save the excuses," said Ray annoyed "You were completely left alone and no one even came to pick you up."

"They had work to do!" I exclaimed.

"It was always work for them. They never came to any school event you participated in. Not even one!"

"There weren't that many events anyway," I replied.

Ray gave me a knowing look "They didn't saw you run on even one track. And you were the star of our track team. You would have easily made it to the top in the state if you hadn't given up on it."

Embry and Quil gave me bewildered looks "You were on the track team?"

"And damn good at it," added Ray "You should have seen her run. Be it sprint, cross-country or whatever hell you want, she'd always make them bite the dust."

"Why'd you stop?" Quil asked carefully.

I shrugged "I love running, but I never liked competing. There was no fun in that."

"She never really got any moral support from her parents," said Ray knowingly "No kid can push themselves if they don't receive even a little support. Speaking of which, did they even know you were on the track team?"

I shrugged again.

"See what I mean? She's always like that," Ray groaned "And that time when that celebration ended she just went home. I noticed her walking away alone and got worried so I followed her. Turns out she heard me following her and thinking that I was stalking her or something she took a few shortcuts and hid in an alley. And not a good alley either. You can guess the rest."

Quil turned at me again expecting an answer. I on the other hand, stuffed my hands in my pocket and refused to give him one. Our silent staring competition began making Ray and Embry nervous, and Embry then nudged Ray to tell them what happened. My warning glare did not stop him from speaking "Turns out I past the side-street she turned into, but I heard her shriek and crashing of some trash cans. When I finally found her she had already knocked the guy unconscious and seemed to be in a dilemma if he was in a comfortable position. I dragged her away from there as soon as possible, took her home and she never got rid of me again."

I took a peek at Quil. There was a shadow over his face that made it impossible for me to read his mood. One thing was for sure though, he _really_ wasn't happy. I scratched the back of my head unsure and then tugged at his shirt. When he glanced at me his face surprised me. He wasn't angry like I expected him to be. No, he was sad. Unbearably sad.

I didn't know what to say. For a few fleeting beats I could only stare at his lost expression before I remembered something and smiled at him "Nothing really happened thanks to you. You though me how to throw good punches and uncle Jake once showed me that cool move how to throw a guy over your shoulder. He was knocked out before I really got to the kicking part."

Quil stared at me and didn't say anything. He just took my hand, gently this time, and began walking again. His hand didn't shake in anger like it did previously. It now trembled slightly, invisible to the naked eye, but obvious to my touch.

**x****xx**

"How did you know where we parked the car?" asked Ray as we made it to our parking spot.

"Or where _you_r car is for that matter?" I wondered out-loud.

Quil and Embry shared a look. "We took the bus," answered Embry after Quil remained quiet.

I looked at them dubiously "So ignoring the fact that you two both have perfectly working cars… they let you on without a shirt?" And barefoot on top of that.

Embry just shrug his shoulders before he got into my car. I looked at Quil with a silent challenge in my eyes for him to say anything, but he, just like Embry, wordlessly got in. Ray gave me a questioning look over the roof of the car. He hinted towards Quil and Embry's direction and mouthed 'What the-?'

I shook my head at him, sighed tiredly and motioned for him to get in too. I was in the dark just as much as he was, but it was slowly starting to scare me how calmly I keep taking in these situations. Perhaps I was getting _too_ used to this.

In the car we had new situation. And of course it involved Embry and Quil again.

"I really don't mind small and cramped spaces," I began slowly "But this is slightly uncomfortable."

Embry and Quil both overtook the back seats, and since my car wasn't exactly one of their monster trucks, vans or whatever, they had to move the front seats forward enough for them to fit in. Ray looked like he might be more comfortable if he was sitting on the car panel but was just too polite to ask for a different arrangement, and I on the other hand, could steer with my chest if I wanted to.

We ended up switching seats between Quil and Ray. Quil came to the front next to me and Ray folded himself behind him. Embry was still somehow nudged across the whole back right side and the middle, while Ray… I swear if we opened the window, I feared he might fall out.

For a while we drove like that in silence and then Embry out of the blue moaned "Oh god, I got groped by a man today." From that point on he was traumatized for life.

**xxx**

"Why me again?" whined Embry for the uptenth time as we walked down the halls of my school the next day "Why can't Emily go? Or Sam? Or Quil? Or anyone else besides me? I have better things to do too you know."

"Like what?"

He remained silent.

Not looking at him I kept checking the papers in my hands "Aunt Emily is busy with preparations for tomorrow's bonfire, uncle Sam is out of town and you were just laying there."

"That still doesn't mean I don't have better things to do," complained Embry "And why don't you get Quil to take care of this parent-teacher thing?"

I gave him a warning look "I've told you about a dozen times already, it's not a parent- teacher meeting. Mrs. Picklestein is just too overly concerned about my well being since I'm new here. She's been nagging me almost every day if she could have a word with my guardian. So heck, why not. You were the only one home so you got the honor to go. Oh and I think she might fear we have some problems at home since I returned the torn permission slip for the field trip and she didn't seem to buy my dog excuse. Work that out somehow, would you?"

"Wait," Embry stopped at his tracks and gave me look like Christmas just came early "Her name is Pickelstein? As in 'Pickle – stein'? Pickle?"

I groaned "Oh god, please don't-"

"This I've got to see!" He practically brushed past me and hurried down the hall where my homeroom teacher had her office. I ran after him, but he barged into her office before I could reach him. Of course he didn't even bother to knock.

"Embry, could you at least- uf!" I ran face first into his back. Now what was his problem?

I looked from behind his back and noticed my biology and homeroom teacher just sitting there behind her desk and grading some papers. She looked startled at out intrusion but still greeted us naturally and smiled "Hello Claire, I'm happy to see you finally brought someone along."

I nodded and came to stand next to Embry "This is Embry Call, my… uncle. He's taking care of me while my parents are away." Is a mother's sister's husband's half brother your uncle? Or some kind of a cousin in the fifth left knee? Bah, same thing I guess.

I nudged Embry to introduce himself but the oaf just stood there like a rock. "_Uncle _Embry," I hissed at him while nudging him harder "This is my homeroom teacher Mrs. Picklestein, the one I thought might like a word with you."

It was strange. He was strange. Beyond his normal strangeness that is. I thought he would make a circus the moment he past that threshold but now he just shut up. The look on his face was indescribable, cold, stoic, completely un-Embry like. But he was barely keeping himself in control. I could see by the way he was clenching his jaw and how hard he suddenly seemed to look. He remained quiet.

My teacher was undisturbed by all of this, she didn't knew Embry's usual loud and annoying nature. She came around her table and offered him her hand "Nice to meet you Mr. Embry Call, I'm Angelia Picklestein, Claire's homeroom teacher."

He reached for her hand automatically and with the same cold expression on his face, but as soon as his hand touched hers, he changed. Everything about him changed. Everything from the way he looked at her to the way he carried himself. His eyes softened and didn't left hers, his lips eased into a kind smile and he seemed to straightened himself but at the same time still lean close to her. I've seen a look like that and a posture similar to his.

Quil held himself around me the exact same way.

No. I bit my tongue and hardened my heart. I shouldn't be imagining things. What was wrong with me lately? I was getting too self-centered again. Quil was like that around everyone. He doesn't act any differently around me as he does around others. I think.

"Kid, give us a minute," spoke Embry suddenly. Before I could reply he already pushed me out my teacher's office and closed the door in my face.

What just happened?

I blinked stupidly at the closed door. Did they just throw me out?

I waited outside for almost half an hour. And then for another 15 minutes. And then still waited. And waited. I had no intention of just standing around there the whole day and since it looked like I was not to be included I simply left. As much as I doubt him, I'm sure Embry can take care of things on his own. And not screw up too much.

I had to jog back home. I had no other choice, we drove here with Embry's van and I didn't really get the opportunity to ask for his car keys. Not that I tried. I've been itching to get a good excuse for a long run for ages now, the constant running in circles around the house and up and down the drive way was slowly making me mad.

It was drizzling slightly before I started so I just pulled my hood over my head, rubbed my hands together in glee and even though I knew I should contain myself, I sprinted into the nearby forest like the devil himself was after me. My heart sang with joy. How did I ever give up on this?

My shoes were soaked after just a few strides, mud splashed all the way up to my tights, I felt sweat running down my back prematurely thanks to my too thick jacket, and my knees and hands got muddy thanks to the slippery slopes I encountered every now and then. I loved every part of it.

It didn't took me more than 30 minutes to get back. I knew I should have gone slower and enjoyed it longer while I could, but I didn't want risking Quil finding out that I've been running around the forest again. Which, by the way, I still have no idea how he found out about my first expedition.

Before I got a clear sight of the house I slowed to a stride to cool myself down. I came around from behind the house when I noticed Ray sitting on the porch and looking mournfully across the yard where Quil had installed a basketball hoop above the garage door. So this is what he has been doing all day while I was gone.

"Caught in the act of self-pity," I said as I leisurely strode up and took a seat next to him "Is this what you have been doing every day while I was gone."

He looked startled to see me suddenly but at least he didn't try to cover it up. He didn't answer, but he did give me a good look over "What happened to you? Did you fall into a ditch or something?"

I looked down at my soggy and muddy attire and grinned up at him "No, just had a good run."

He smiled knowingly "Didn't you go to some kind of meeting with your professor and Embry?"

"I was left out."

"Well you're back early, princess," he teased.

I began rooming around some stuff that was rotting away under the porch stairs "It's because I wanted to play with you, sugar." I pulled out my stolen goods and threw it at Ray.

He caught the basketball in his hands, and much to my delight, didn't let it drop. He turned it around a bit and stopped when he came upon a mark imprinted on the ball. He raised his eyebrows at me as he pointed to the mark which read:

'Property of La Push High School'

I could only shrug "Play with me."

He threw the ball back at me and shook his head sadly "Not today."

I didn't take no for an answer. I took off my jacket before running towards the hoop and taking a shot. The ball circled the basket once before it fell through and bounced a few times against the pavement before rolling off in the grass. I waited for him, but he didn't join me. I picked up the ball again and this time consciously made mistakes. I made too many steps, didn't hold the ball right before throwing it and didn't score another point anymore.

I waited. Ray wasn't a perfectionist for nothing.

And I was right.

"You suck."

I grinned as I heard his voice behind me, closer than it would have been if he was still sitting down. I threw the basketball over my shoulder and this time when Ray caught it he didn't let it go "Teach me."

An hour or so later we played like we used to. We were back on his driveway in Chicago and we were 15 again. I tugged at his shirt in hopeless effort to stop him as he zoomed past me for another shot.

He just laughed as I almost tore his shirt off "Who are you kidding, you haven't gotten rusty at all. You still play dirty."

"Guess who taught me, dork."

"Not the shirt pulling," he tugged me along when I refused to let go. He marched forward like a horse and even despite my pulling he still didn't miss the hoop.

I snorted as I got the ball "Like I have any chance to keep up with you otherwise."

"Practice my dear," he was before me in two strides, gone in three. With the ball of course. He lazily took a shot and scored another point while I could only groan.

"Can't keep up with me, babe?" he winked.

I huffed "You wish."

He grinned and this time let me take a few clean shots myself. He still didn't let me pass him easily though.

"You know what," I gasped tiredly "I change my mind. I want you down a few notches."

"Finally admitting defeat?" Ray laughed as he scored another point.

I glared at him "Never."

I walked up to Sunny who was leisurely laying at the edge of the field watching us. I petted his head lovingly and untied the bandana from around his neck while Ray jogged up to me and obediently stuck out his left hand. I tied the bandana around his wrist and then bent it back to tie it around the belt loop on the back of his jeans.

Ray mussed up my hair with his free hand "You tying me up like this turns me on, cupcake."

"I'm sure it does," I battled his hand away "But unfortunately you'll have to take care of your _little_ problem on your own."

Ray furrowed his brow "Are you calling me little?"

This time I winked at him as I picked up the ball again "What? You ready to prove me otherwise?"

"You bet I am," and he charged like a bull in my direction.

I still had no chance of winning against him. Even with one hand down. That, and still pulling his shirt and slamming into him to throw him off balance did nothing to him.

"You know, playing with you like this is the best way for me to gain experience for the real court. You really do know all the dirty tricks."

"I know," I replied casually while nudging him with my elbow and trying to trip him at the same time "It's because I love you so."

Laughing he still managed to play his way around me and take another shot. In the end I have no idea how long we played but I dropped out sooner since I had nowhere near enough stamina for this as he. I played as long as I could just to keep him going on and playing, but in the end I restored to just sitting under the hoop and throwing the balls back at him as he took shots.

"I missed this," he said quietly as he watched the ball bounce once against the pavement and flying into his waiting hands. He hesitated for a second before throwing it again.

As it fell through I grabbed it and threw it back at him "Me too."

We were quiet for a few moments. Ray took a few steps back and tried an outside shot from a greater distance. The ball bounced around the hoop and circled it once but it didn't fell through. It also bounced too much to my left for me to catch so we both just watched as it rolled back in the grass.

When I looked back at Ray there was a calm presence around him. He returned my gaze and small knowing smile graced his lips "Thank you, Claire."

I matched his smile "You're welcomed."

* * *

I really, really, really strongly dislike this chapter. I've been rewriting it, editing it, cutting and adding scenes like mad so most of it might seem like a jumble of everything for which I deeply apologize *has no clue what else to do*

I'm also very sorry for my slow updates. I write chapters in bits and pieces and whenever I get back to them I change something or cut it out so the progress is... slow. Not to mention life. Life always gets in the way.

**xxx**

Three guesses what happened to Embry (: And Ray's time is slowly running out so next chapter should prove to be interesting!

Anyone have any specific wishes for certain scenes to happen? Share them and I might add them. Try me (: Also I try answering any questions you might have but otherwise my replies are a bit slow (slowlyness(?) runs in my family so I apologize in the name of my ancestors).

Review me, I love you guys!


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N:** I AM ALIVE *cough* Sorry for being so lame with updates... or lack of thereof. Some of my plot bunnies died (along with my previous laptop and everything I had stored on it (R.I.P. Haro)), college kept me surprisingly busy (got my Bachelor's degree, huzzah!), and since I'm an old fashioned fool I have the next two chapter written down... in my notebooks. Add lazy to that. You see the problem.

On a side note, I'm on a hunt for a new beta (Katanagirl16 you shall be missed, but best of luck with college!) so I'm deeply sorry for all the mistakes from here on.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

The sound of our running feet and labored breathing was the only thing that disturbed the stillness of the forest. We ran side by side trying to our-run each other, and I hid my grin every time he ran into a spider-web or almost toppled over a log or a root.

"Jesus Christ, tell me why am I doing this again?" wheezed Ray as he brushed cobwebs out of his hair.

"To keep you in shape," I smiled back at him not breaking our tempo "You haven't moved a muscle besides what little we played yesterday. You think your coach won't notice after you get back?"

"I'm on vacation," protested Ray "Vacation equals not moving a muscle. Besides, one week won't make much of a difference."

I jumped over a log and ducked my head under some branches "Volkov will smell it on you."

Ray wasn't so fortunate with the branches "Okay, point taken but can we at least take a little break? I need some serious first aid help here."

I didn't stop but I slowed down to a walk. Ray caught up and I got to see his 'serious injuries' up close. I cracked a grin "Do you not know how to dodge? Or lift your legs for that matter?"

He had two scratch marks over his right cheek and his palms and legs were muddied by when he fell over. Thrice. He glared at me "Shut up. I'm an urban creature, the only thing I have to duck my head for are angry old ladies with canes."

"You should still think about running like this once in a while, I'm afraid the forest might kill you one day. Or today," I joked.

"Not everyone can run like a dear," he gave me a pointed look "Besides, what's with you and forests? I always knew you were a jungle girl but this place is seriously turning you into Tarzan."

"How sweet of you, I might just swing on that branch and kidnap you. And then leave you somewhere deep in the forest where only dark mysterious forest creatures can hear you scream."

Ray grinned and wiggled his eyebrows "You want to go all Pocahontas on me?"

"Don't you dare…" I warned him, but it was no use. Whenever Pocahontas was mentioned Ray stated to sing.

"_Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon,  
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?  
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?  
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"_

Let's say he didn't have an angel's voice either. His demonic yowl probably scared every living creature in 20mile radius. I could already hear my aunt telling me about the mystery of forest animals panicky running through town, trying to get as far away from the sound of hell as possible.

"_Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest,  
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth,  
Come roll in all the riches all around you,  
And for once, never wonder what they're worth."_

He even had the gall to do a little dance. I tried punching and hitting him or any body attack possible that would bring him down, but he happily just jumped out of my way and continued singing.

"_The rainstorm and the river are my brothers,  
The heron and the otter are my friends,  
And we are all connected to each other,  
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends."_

Mesmerized, even Sunny began howling with him. Betrayed by my dog and defeated by my friend, I covered my ears and let them scream/howl it off.

"_How high will the sycamore grow?  
If you cut it down, then you'll never know,  
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon,  
For whether we are white or copper skinned,  
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains,  
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind."_

"Ray, seriously!" I yelled over their harmonic duet that only seemed to get louder "If you don't stop right now you're gonna…" I hurriedly tried coming up with a threat "You're gonna call in all the bears. They like screaming victims."

That made Ray shut up in an instant "Bears? There are bears around here?"

"Yes, lots of them," I lied "And they're all hungry and waiting for someone with a strong voice to eat."

Ray gave me an unsure look "You're making that up."

"I can show you the news, hitchhikers disappear every now and then around here."

"What?" asked Ray alarmed "Then what are we even doing out here?"

"Recreating, which no animal minds as long as we do it quietly."

"We're going back!" stated Ray in a harsh whisper.

Okay, maybe I over-did it. "We've already made it all the way here, the shore is just a little ahead, you said you wanted to see it."

"Yes," said Ray still whispering "But not get eaten over it by bears."

I rolled my eyes "C'mon, you can already smell the sea from here. Besides," I added "Bears are really allergic to the sea."

"Really?"

No.

I know Ray knows squat about anything nature related, but this was getting ridiculous. I face-palmed "Just follow me."

The shore was windy and the clouds were lower than normal, it looked like it might rain again. It was also very cold for a late spring day, but to me this was the normal weather. Ray stared silently at the wild sea before him. He took in the beach, the sky and the far-off cliffs on our left, it took him a while before he looked at me again "This is oddly beautiful."

I smiled and pointed at the sea on out left "See those rocks sticking out of the water?"

He nodded.

"Look a little to the right, far behind them, see those dark blue blotches? A few shades darker than the sea."

Ray strained his eyes in the direction I was pointing "Yeah, what is that?"

"Whales," I smiled wider.

Ray's eyes widened "Seriously? Real ones? This close?"

I nodded "We'd have a better view of them from the cliffs, but it's hard to foretell when they'll come around so we usually watch them from the beach."

"That's so freakin' awesome!" said Ray excited "Real whales!"

I promised him once that I would show him what the real sea was like, what a beach under harsh conditions and without tourists was like. He was used to spending some of his holidays at his grandparents' place in Florida so I knew something different like this was something he might like. He always liked different things.

"Is it always so empty?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head "We get lots of tourists as soon as summer starts and there are a few surfers and whale-watchers who come all year round, but this beach only has one road leading to it which only the locals know so it's deserted most of the time. "

"And we all know what those are for," Ray nudged me and winked.

I hit him.

**xxx**

On our way back Ray was more lucky with his surroundings. That probably had something to do with the fact that he refused to run with me again. He now proceeded slowly and took caution around every low branch or root which meant in took us trice as long to get back than normal.

"I always wondered you know," he spoke suddenly as he walked in a wide curve around what the thought was a suspicious looking fern.

"About what?"

"You never showed any interest. In guys. Or women for that matter."

Stuffing my hands in my pockets I wondered what suddenly brought this up "I'm not really that type of a person, you know that. I don't feel the need to be close with somebody so I'm not exactly relationship material."

"You're exactly the type," Ray corrected me "You're a good catch. It's just that your approach is like… roadkill."

"Thanks."

"You know Patrick had a crush on you?" he suddenly said out of the blue.

I almost tripped "What?"

Ray grinned at my bewildered look "Yeah, I thought so."

"What?" I asked again.

"For three years. You never picked up on his hints, did you?"

"What hints?"

"The flowers for Valentine's, the fact that he always wanted to sit closes to you, the half of dozen times he asked you out for movies or coffee or concert or just about any place a guy usually asks a girl out," he gave me a look "I could go on for a while."

"Okay, I get it," I shoved him away for no reason "Wow, that just… can't be true."

Ray gave me an annoyed look as he almost fell over a stump "How can that be not true?"

"I thought the flowers were just a friend thing he did for his female friends."

"You were his only female friend," Ray pointed out.

I gave him a confused look. I was?

"Well the sitting arrangement is biased. That could just be a coincidence."

"He shoved me away more than just a few times."

Oh. I never noticed that either.

"Okay, then the movies don't count since he always invited us both," I said convinced.

Ray laughed out loud "It was always you who extended the invite to me. If I didn't go, you wouldn't go so I took pity of him and tagged along."

"That still doesn't mean anything," I refused to believe it.

"He _told_ me had a crush on you."

That shut me up and left me staring at him. I could only think back on the numerous times Patrick talked to me or suggested anything, anything at all.

…

"_Hey Claire," a tray was laid next to mine and seat next to me moved as Patrick sat down. Ray gave him an annoyed look as he almost stumbled over him to take the empty seat next to him._

_I nodded at them in hello not taking my eyes of my Chemistry textbook I was reading for the pop quiz next period. I was set to ignore them for the rest of the break but Ray shut my textbook away and pushed in under his tray "Listen up, Trick has something to say."_

_I looked up from Ray to Patrick who seemed to fidget a little. He gave me a nervous smile before asking "Have you seem the new Meserine movie?"_

_My eyes lit up and I shook my head._

"_Would you want to go? This Friday? I can come and pick you up."_

_I smiled a little at his offer "Sure, I'd love to see it." Then I turned to Ray "When do you get off the court? We could meet at six."_

_Patrick's face fell a little while Ray smacked his head against the table._

…

_I walked out at the school entrance and made my way to the bike shed. Patrick was leaning against a tree by the shed and looked like he was waiting for someone. As soon as he spotted me he moved away from the tree and walked up to me._

"_Hi," he greeted in a small voice._

"_Hey," I smiled back while trying to pull my bike out._

"_Oh, let me!" he jumped before me and helped me pull my bike out from the mix of others. Ray's bike with the flower basket was the main hazard in the shed._

"_Thanks," I pushed the bike out of the shed while Patrick followed "Well, see you tomorrow," I got on and drove away before he got a chance to speak again._

…

_Patrick and I were walking to out indoor basketball court where Ray's game was about to start. The gym entrance was crowded with students so I moved out of the way and waited for everyone to move pass me. Patrick pushed his way after me but he had more difficulties since he just kept bumping into anyone who knew him and wanted to talk._

"_Why'd you move away?" he asked as he finally reached me "We won't get good seats this way."_

"_People," I emphasized with my hands in the direction of swarming students._

"_Oh," he said "Right, you don't like crowds."_

_He waited with me as the students thinned out. As there were only a few people left Patrick brushed the back of his head asking "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee after the game?"_

_I looked up at him and answered earnestly "No thank you, I don't drink coffee."_

_We moved through the entrance and Patrick tried again "Tea then?"_

_I shook my head again._

"_No as in you don't drink tea either, or no as in you don't want to go?"_

"_I don't like tea," I said simply._

_We made our way up to the bleachers with Patrick leading the way. He went in the direction where a group of his other friends was sitting, but I moved a few seats away. He looked around confused when I wasn't there. After he spotted me he left his friends and came to sit with me again "I thought I lost you there for a moment."_

"_You don't have to keep me company, I don't mind watching the game alone," I said as I noticed that group of friends calling him back._

_He waved them off "I don't mind sitting with you."_

_We sat in silence for the start of the game and only cheered and waved when Ray made it on court. _

"_Can I ask you something?" he asked after a while._

_I nodded._

"_Why do you like being alone?" I looked up at him and took note that he was honestly curious._

_I shrugged "I find it tiring to interact with too many people."_

"_But you don't mind Ray?"_

"_I did at the beginning but then I got used to him."_

"_Do you mind me?" he asked nervously._

_I smiled at him "No."_

_He blushed._

"_At least not all the time."_

…

I have no idea why all of this seems obvious to me now. Guilt began sinking in and I covered my face to groan into my hands. Poor Patrick.

Ray looked amused at my revelation "You're amazing."

"Shut up," I groaned again "What did he even see in me? I was horrible to him."

"Your calm aloofness," he said simply "Patrick always thought you were so innocent about everything, it took me a while to convince him that you simply just didn't care."

"I care," I argued.

"I know," Ray nodded "But you care for different things in your own way, Patrick just idealized you in a wrong way. He had a hard time seeing that."

We were nearing the house, just a few feet away was an opening between two tall bushes that I use for entering and leaving the forest. As Ray got out first I slowed down a little and stared at his back. I always wondered…

"Ray?"

"Hm?"

"How do you always know?"

"Know what?" he looked back at me.

"Us," and I didn't mean just me and Patrick, but everyone around him "How do you always understand us?"

He gave me a crooked smile "I'm simply awesome."

I jumped at his back and strangled him from behind "I'm serious!"

He laughed and much to my amazement didn't fall. He tripped over every little root in the forest, but as soon as his feet touched concrete and I tackled him, he didn't even waver. Fascinating.

Crouching a little, his hands find their way under my tights and he lifted me up for a piggyback ride. "It's not that hard," he said quietly "You just have to notice people and observe them."

"You make it sound easy."

"It's because the world today keeps telling us to mind out own business," frowned Ray "We're used to just staring at our own problems and never take the time to listen to others."

"Some people don't like that."

"Some people don't know they need that."

I chuckled "You'd make a good psychologist."

He gave me a side-glance "Then lets experiment."

"Wha-?"

Before I could wonder what he meant or what he was doing he grabbed my waist and had me turned so we were face to face. I wanted to let go but he just backed me up against the wall of the house. I shrunk down to find my footing but Ray still hovered over me with his hands blocking my exit. I wasn't scared, not even for a moment, but the closeness was making me uncomfortable and he very well knew that.

He leaned down and moved his face closer to mine. His breath tickled my ear as he whispered a word. Just one word.

"Quil."

A shudder went down my body, I felt like every hair on my body rose in anticipation. Leaning my head back I closed my eyes and wanted to… moan?

I snapped my eyes opened and growled at him "You…"

Ray had the gall to grin at me "I thought so."

"What? You thought so what?" I snapped at him.

"Nothing," he still didn't move away from me "Just do me favor and think more often about him. Maybe you'll realize it one day."

I grabbed him by his shirt and for a moment didn't know if I wanted to shove him away or shake a full answer out of him. The monkey was toying with me again!

"What are you two doing?" a new voice asked.

Ray and I looked up and noticed Quil just a few feet away looking absolutely livid. His glare was directed towards Ray and it was so murderous that it even sent a cold chill down my spine. I let go of Ray's shirt and ducked under his arm to get to Quil.

"Hey," I said slowly and reached for his arm "What's wrong?"

His eyes snapped from Ray to me and for the first time ever he pushed my hand away. Somehow this gesture hurt.

"You, is what's wrong here!" he growled low.

"I'm sorry?" I asked confused as something heavy began setting on my heart.

He turned away "Forget it."

"Wait Quil," I went after him "Tell me what's wrong."

As soon as I tried touching him again, he once more pulled his hand away "Don't touch me. Or better yet, don't come near me." He marched into the forest but this time I didn't go after him. I watched his back as he walked away from me and disappear between the trees. A too familiar sensation clenched my heart. Rejection.

How many times did I watch my mother walk out on me in a similar manner? Or my father? And sister? Countless times.

But Quil? This was the first time.

This was too sudden and then something went wrong. I couldn't control my breathing, my lungs didn't get enough air and the ground under me didn't want to stay still. I needed something to hold on to or else…

Cold hands gripped my shoulders and tried pulling me up. Or down? I didn't know anymore, suddenly I was just staring up at the murk sky. I face came into my vision. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Ray. His mouth was moving but I couldn't hear his voice, he looked like he was shouting something. Another face. Dimples. Longer hair. Embry.

They were both talking and trying to say something. To me? To each other? I tried listening to them… I tried, but I could only hear my labored breathing, a wolf howling somewhere in the distance and Quil's last words repeating over and over in my head.

Rejection.

Warm hands gripped me this time and I realized Embry was trying to pick me up. I don't know if it were his warm hands or the fact that he was trying to lift me up that suddenly sickened me. I struggled in his hold and tried pushing him away.

I know what was wrong with me. Anxiety attack. I was just having another anxiety attack and I wanted to tell them to just leave me alone, I could get through this alone. I've had them before, I was familiar with the symptoms and usually I recognized it early enough so I could get ready by hiding somewhere safe and dark. It's just been a long time since something has triggered it again.

Embry didn't give into my struggling so I began hitting him. After I hit my hand quite hard against his face did he finally let me go. I staggered away from them and towards the back of the house. There my stomach turned for the final time and I began throwing up my breakfast. I started to tremble but at least I could breathe again. I knew the attack was coming to an end, now I just needed a few minutes to collect myself. I wedged myself between two water barrels that were left forgotten against the wall, covered my head with my hands and let the trembling ride out of my system.

I wasn't in rainy La Push anymore. I was back in Chicago, in our big house and my too big room, wedged between some boxes and hiding under my desk. The room was dark with only the light from the street lamps reaching through my window and casting large dark shadows across my room. I wasn't scared. Not of the shadows, not of the dark.

I was scared of the sound of my mother's heels as she slowly walked away, and then the front door opening and closing as silence settled in. That is what I was afraid of. The silence in the big lonely house.

I wasn't crying or whimpering. I was just cold and trembling in my little safe corner waiting for the panic to leave me. The after-shocks used to last longer. At the beginning I could spend the whole night this way, sometimes even a few nights in a row. It got easier as I got Sunny. The sound of his paws on the parquet floor dimmed the silence, but that was often hard to accomplish as my mother used to lock him outside.

And as I met Ray it got even easier since he always seemed to know when to make annoying calls or when to trespass uninvited. The last time something like this happened was a few weeks ago as I stumbled over to his place like a complete nervous wreck after my mother said that my aunt and uncle wouldn't be visiting. Funny, that day seemed like eons ago.

Minutes passed before I registered sniffing and a wet nose touching my hand. I lifted some of my fingers and a fuzzy muzzle made its way under my hand. He licked my chin as soon as he got excess and let out a little whine.

I turned my head and a familiar doggy head obscured my vision as he began licking me all over.

"Ugh, Sunny stop it." I tried pushing him away but that only made him happier. He grabbed the sleeve of my jacket and began playing tug-o-war with himself.

"See? Told you he would work," I heard Ray say somewhere on my right.

Embry and Ray stood just a few feet away obviously trying to give me some space. Embry looked concerned while Ray was calm and composed and probably the only thing keeping Embry back from jumping me.

"Can you get up?" asked Ray as he slowly approached me.

I could get up but my knees were week. He wanted to help me get inside, but I didn't let him. I leaned on the wall if I needed support and I let Ray only open the door for me. Embry jumped back and forth clearly having no idea what to do with himself. He wanted to help me, but when I didn't let him, he just kept going all around the place. Honestly, he was making me dizzy.

I sat down at the kitchen table while Ray got me a glass of water. "Em, calm down," I said after Embry bumped into a chair for the second time "I'm fine."

"Fine?" he almost shouted "That wasn't fine! That was nowhere near fine! That was… that was…" he trailed off not finding words for it.

"Anxiety attack," Ray and I both said at the same time.

I gave Ray an annoyed look, I should have knew he would know about it.

"Anxiety attack?" asked Embry confused "You get anxiety attacks?"

I nodded before taking a sip of my water "I hadn't had one in quite a while and usually I'm quite good at warding them off, but this one took me a little by surprise."

"Does Quil know about this?" Embry asked suddenly.

Unconsciously I gripped the glass in my hands harder. I probably would have broken it if Ray hadn't pulled it out of my grasp on time. "I think Quil was the cause of this one," Ray said quietly.

Embry glared at him and I could see he didn't like Ray blaming this one on Quil "What happened?"

"He was angry for some reason," I began sadly "Me and Ray were just talking outside then he suddenly appeared and looked like he might snap at any moment. I tried asking him what was wrong and he said I was wrong," I explained still muddled up over the matter. Frustrated I kept tugging and messing up my hair "Then he told me not to touch him or come near him and he walked away."

"What triggered it?" asked Embry "The attack I mean."

I shrugged but Ray answered "Him leaving. Claire has slight abandonment issues."

"Ray!" I shouted horrified "I do not have abandonment issues."

"Yes, you do," he stated simply "Learn to recognize it."

"Recognize what?"

"Your reluctance of getting close to people for starters, or does the timing of your anxiety attacks not seem obvious to you?"

I backed down and bit my tongue. Embry looked confused between the two of us "I think we should talk to Emily about this."

"No," I jumped up "No need, I'm really fine. I know how to handle this, I don't need to talk to anybody about this," I glared especially at Ray as I said this. He obviously likes to spill the beans.

"I don't know Claire," continued Embry unsure "I think you really should talk to someone about this."

"I said I'm fine," I stated firmly "And speaking of aunt Emily, Ray we need to pick up some groceries for the bonfire tonight. I promised her we'd be at her house at six."

The change of topic gave me the felling of control again and Ray finally let me be. Embry was reluctant to let the matter go but I gave him no choice as I vanished into my room.

**xxx**

"You okay, honey?" soft hands engulfed me in a hug "You seem somehow off today."

My aunt Emily still smelled of cookies and her hugs were still warm and welcome. For a moment I let myself drown in her acceptance, I was about to hug her back before I quickly realized where I was and what I was doing. I stepped back awkwardly and managed what I hoped was an assuring smile "I'm fine. Here, let me help you with those."

She was preparing sandwiches for tonight's bonfire and at least that was something I could help her with (I _did_ know how to slice bread).

"You sure?" she gave me a long look "You look a bit pale."

"I'm sure," I smiled weakly again.

Over her shoulder I noticed Ray giving me a dark look. He offered his assistance in making his famous Rodman pancakes so right now he was stuck in the kitchen with me and my aunt while dangerously waving an egg-beater in my direction.

I glared right back at him and hoped he got the memo to keep his mouth shut.

"_Liar," _he mouthed at me.

"_Shut up," _I shot back.

"How's your mother?" Emily asked after awhile as we all got back to work.

I shrugged "Okay, I guess. I think she's finally coming around of me staying here for the summer."

"Have you told her yet that you're living with Embry and Quil?"

"…No," I said quietly.

"Claire," she began worriedly "We really should tell her soon, delaying it will only make it worse when she finds out."

"She doesn't need to know," I added hurriedly "I mean what's the big deal anyway. She'll throw a fit no matter what I say. I plan to find a place to say on my own during the summer, I just need to find a job first. After that I'll tell her anything she'd want to know." The idea of moving out scared me more than I was willing to acknowledge, but due to Quil's recent outburst I felt a strong urge to realize it no matter what.

"You want to move out?" Emily asked shocked "Why? I thought things were working out well with you guys living together?"

"They are," I didn't meet her eyes "But I feel like a freeloader and sometimes I think I'm just in their way."

"Quil and Embry don't think of you in that way. No one does," she said firmly "Have you even talked about it with them?"

I shook my head "Not yet, I thought I'd wait till school ends."

"I don't think your mother will find that any more appealing than living with them would."

"She might if I promise her to attend college," I added.

"Claire," Emily turned to me suddenly very serious "How many of these things that you're planning are actually things that you want to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to move out because you think you're in the way of others, you would go to college only because your mother wants you too, and there are also countless other things I've noticed over the weeks that you keep doing because of others. Is there anything at all that you would want from you own heart?"

Yes.

I was painfully aware of the silence that settled in the room. Even Ray was motionless as he stared silently at the pile of pancakes before him. I wanted to remind him that he was burning that one set he still had on the stove, but my throat suddenly went dry.

_"Don't be selfish, Claire!"_

My mother's repeating words replayed in my head again and again, and as I reached up with my hand to brush away my hair I noticed my hands were shaking. Just so I gave my aunt a brave smile "Of course there are things I want for myself."

I turned back to the counter and continued working. From the corner of my eyes I noticed Emily nodding in approval, but then I added "But I can't let that get in the way of others. Moreover, if I go to college mum would be off your backs too, so that two birds with one stone."

Suddenly my aunt was hugging me again. "But none of those birds is you," she said sadly.

I felt a long familiar prickle behind my eyes but I refused to give in. "Don't be silly," I laughed weakly "It would do us all a favor."

"Oh Claire," she only hugged me tighter "What did that woman do to you."

**xxx**

As we arrived at the beach much later, the guys were already setting up the bonfire and logs to sit on. Brady and Colin were setting the picnic tables for the food and me and Ray helped Emily gather all the food from the car. Or should I say cars? When Seth and Camille arrived, their truck was almost literally packed to the brim with more meat and bread that I had ever hoped to see in my life.

"How many people are coming?" asked Ray shocked as Emily just kept piling up Tupperware containers in his arms.

"Just close family," answered my cousin Ally as she helped us carry more "Seth and Camille, Leah and Tihomir, Jacob and Nessie, Jared and Kim with Ben and Caroline, Paul and Rachel with the girls, Embry with whichever unlucky girl he picks up this time, Brady, Collin, Quil, us and you two."

Ray's eyes widen at all the names but I could see he still couldn't add so much food together to that many people.

"You forgot Jake's dad and mrs. Clearwater… or mrs. Swan, or Clearwater-Swan, or whatever," added Mattis from behind us as he easily hoisted a large log from the forest and carelessly dropped it next to the table where we were settling down the food.

"Is sheriff Swan not coming?" asked Ally curiously.

"No," Mattis shook his head "Since his daughter is in town and rarely comes to visit, he's spending all the time he can with her." There was an off note in the way Mattis had said that, like he didn't agree with something, but I couldn't guess what that was.

We helped set the food and by the time the bonfire was started almost everyone was there. I greeted everyone, introduced Ray, the food was passed around, jokes and jabs followed but all the while I was painfully aware of Quil's absence.


End file.
